Emotional Intelligence: Taming Your Anger

It makes you overbold and confident when you're angry, and you will make foolish decisions in your anger.

f) Anger should be examined to see where it is coming from.

Number seven, anger should be examined to see where it's coming from and says in Psalms 4:4,

4 In your anger, do not sin. When you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

I'm not sure if the author was talking to married couples, knowing if they got angry, they'd be on separate beds. In essence, what it's saying is search your hearts and be quiet and examine where did this anger come from? Be honest with yourself and stop blaming someone else for your anger.

Husbands, if you're telling your wife, "You're making me do this. See, you made me do that." Listen, don't tell me that. You need to take responsibility for your anger. If you're angry and explode, it is your issue and no one else's issue around you. Take responsibility for your own anger. Stop telling someone else that they pushed your buttons and made it happen. It is your responsibility.

g) Anger is a learned behavior so avoid those that model it.

Number eight. Anger is a learned behavior so avoid those who model it. Proverbs 22:24-25 says,

24 Do not associate with one given to anger and with a wrathful man, do not keep company,

25 lest you learn his ways and get yourself in a snare.

Anger is a learned behavior. Some of you are angry with the way that you manage your household and because you learned this anger from your parents. Your household was angered and explosive so now you are explosive. You are teaching it to your children and it is your inheritance you're passing on that is not a good inheritance.

Therefore, someone needs to break the cycle. So stop blaming it on I'm half Italian and half Irish and we're all angry. Stop blaming it on that and realize it's a learned behavior. If there's someone who is always angry around you, you need to start pulling away from that individual because you may learn angry behavior.

h) Anger is an emotion that must be managed and controlled.

Lastly, anger is an emotion that must be managed and controlled. It says in Proverbs 29:11,

11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

There are some of you here that have been angry for as long as you can remember and have chronic anger issues. Your marriage is paying the price. Your children are paying the price. Your co-workers are paying the price, and you're paying the price. Do you realize that you're 2.3 times more likely to have a heart attack when you become angry than not? Your body was not made to sustain ongoing anger and it damages your spirit, as well. So there are some of you here that need to determine today and say,

"Pastor Mark, I realize that there's a thorn in my soul that needs to be pulled out that does not belong there. There's a thorn in my soul, and I purpose before God, for the good of my family, my friends, my relatives and my own spirit, that I will dig to the root of this thorn and this filth and pull it out because I do not want to live with this chronic, ongoing and exploding issue of anger in my life. I want to deal with it. While I dig it out, I will do whatever I can in my power not to damage the people around me. If I have to take a walk when we're getting in a conversation, I will do so. If I have to take a jog or punch a punching bag at the gym or count to ten or say the alphabet backward or take deep breathing classes or walk out of the room . . .."