Divorce Proof Your Marriage Series

Some seasons of your marriage they may seem to be everywhere. Late at night they are especially prevalent. These are the sins and flaws and idiosyncrasies and weaknesses and annoying habits in you and in your spouse. You try to forgive them and endure them with grace.

“But they have a way of dominating the relationship. It may not even be true. But sometimes it feels like that’s all there is – cow pies.” Piper says, “Noel and I have come to believe that the combination of forbearance and forgiveness leads to the creation of a compost pile. That’s where you shovel the cow pies.

“You both look at each other and simply admit that there are a lot of cow pies. But you say to each other: You know, there is more to this relationship than cow pies. And we are losing sight of that because we keep focusing on these cow pies. Let’s throw them all in the compost pile. When we have to, we will go there and smell it and feel bad and deal with it the best we can. And then we are going to walk away from that pile and set our eyes on the rest of our field. We will pick some favorite paths and hills that we know are not strewn with cow pies. And we will be thankful for the part of the field that is sweet.

“Our hands may be dirty. And our backs may ache from all the shoveling. But one thing we know: We will not pitch our tent by the compost pile. We will only go there when we must. This is a gift of grace that we will give each other again and again and again—because we are chosen and holy and loved. (John Piper, This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence, Crossway Books, 2009, p. 59; www.PreachingToday.com)

I like that attitude. If you want to divorce proof your marriage, don’t focus on the cow pies in the relationship; don’t go looking for reasons to split up. Instead, look for reasons to stay together. Focus on the good parts, and…

LOOK TO THE LORD.

Work on becoming "one" with your spouse as God planned it. Remain committed to each other, and stick together no matter what happens, because that’s God’s original design for marriage. That’s what GOD wants us to do.

Mark 10:6-9 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (NIV)

God designed marriage to be an unbreakable union between a man and his wife – a “one flesh” relationship. God joined them together with the intention that no one should separate them.

Now, that word for “joined together” literally means to “yoke together.” In the original language, the picture is of two oxen sharing the same yoke, pulling together in the same direction, working together to accomplish their master’s will.

Well, that’s what God designed marriage to be. It is two people sharing the same burdens, pulling together in the same direction, working together to accomplish the Master’s will “until God by death shall separate them.”