Dismantling Our Doubt Series

During their honeymoon, Melissa started having stomach problems and when they returned the doctor delivered the news they dreaded. She had mere months to live. On Feb. 5, 2001, Melissa went to be with the Lord. As she took her last breath, Jeremy stood with her family and began worshipping God singing the same songs they had played so often for Melissa during her hospital stays. “I didn’t want to do it,” he says, “but I knew I was learning something about obedience.”

Melissa’s life and death changed Jeremy’s perspective on the music he makes. “Watching Melissa go to Heaven made me realize what’s important. Music is not my life. Christ is my life. The only thing that really matters is what we do for Jesus on this Earth, and as a result of what I’ve been through, I express even more the goodness of God and how faithful He is.”

One of those songs that reflects that perspective is “I Still Believe,” the first song Camp wrote after Melissa’s death, a declaration of faith from one who has walked through the fire.

In the very moments when he could have doubted God the most, Jeremy wrote these words:

“I still believe in your faithfulness/I still believe in your truth/I still believe in your Holy Word/even when I don’t see You I still believe.”

Jesus responded to Thomas’ spontaneous act of worship with a blessing, for him and for us:

“Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)

That’s us, folks. Jesus is blessing the billions that would follow in Thomas’ footsteps. Sincere seekers who choose belief, in spite of doubt.

We are going to play Jeremy Camp’s song, “I Still Believe”, and the words will be on the screen. Kara and Leigh will sign the words as well. As the music plays, some of us need to surrender our right to know all the answers. Some of us need to surrender our lives to Christ. Some just need to be encouraged to trust even when we are drowning in doubt.

Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I’ve never felt so torn before

Seems I don’t know where to start

But its now I feel your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don’t see I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It’s my heart I see you prepare

But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don’t see I still believe

The only place I can go is into your arms

Where I throw to you my feeble prayers in brokenness

I can see that this is your will for me

Help me to know you are near

- Jeremy Camp, from the CD “Stay”