Discern Friendships And Maintain A Respect For Those Who Are Close To You Series

When you’re teaching children about friendships, share the following two principles: First, let God choose your friends. Let’s learn to stand for God, and if need be, to stand alone. Second, never make a close or intimate friendship with a person who rejects the Word of God, or is a disobedient Christian. “They’re a Christian, Dad” your child might object. But that’s not enough. There are levels of friendship that we owe everybody but there is an intimacy we can have only with those who love the Word of God.

2. Make Contact

“Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity:” (Proverbs 27:10).

We must stay connected to some degree, to our friends and our father’s friends. That doesn’t mean that we have a sleepover ever week or that we have to go out to lunch with them once a month. It does mean that we should do what we can to make and stay in contact. We may not be able to keep in contact with the guy down at the mini market and we may not be able to keep in contact with the people at work like we would like to, but God says we have a responsibility to not forsake our friends. Sometimes, our friends can get rather surly but God says don’t forsake them. They may be going through a rough patch and could use your input. If they are true friends, they will let you speak your peace and lovingly point out blind spots.

Solomon’s son Rehoboam got himself in big trouble because he didn’t follow this very important advice from his dad. He listened to his friends instead and got himself into a mess and the whole nation of Israel split as a result of it (1 Kings 12). Those “old geezers”, that are our father’s and mother’s friends, can actually be a great source of friendship. They know us and love us regardless. It doesn’t mean that we always have to spend a lot of time with them. An anonymous writer once wisely mused that true friends can grow separately without growing apart. True friendship is okay with silence. In fact, I’ve notice that there is actually something special about long distance relationships. It seems like it goes beyond the surface level of just physically being together. It allows you to focus more on things where there is a commonness of spirit.

For example, there are certain Christian friends that I have an ongoing texting relationship with. I don’t even have to say, “Hi, how are you...How’s it going?” We just kind of pick up the conversation where we left off last time, even if was months ago! Or out of the blue I will get a random text. It’s a comfortable feeling. He lets me do what I have to do and I let him do what he has to do, and if he can’t get back to me, there are no hurt feelings because of the freedom and ease that come with a secure friendship. Real friends are those that try to stay in contact. Family friends can be very helpful for building security in a child’s life.