Bereaved Christmas Series

HoHum:

Things will be different without my grandmother- another empty chair

WBTU:

Kyle David Matthews wrote a song and the Oak Ridge Boys recorded it in the early 2000’s. It’s called Inconvenient Christmas. This is more of a story than a song but here is the first part: Among the bills that I'd received was a postcard marked “Apologies, The Christmas gifts you ordered aren't in stock” So I packed up the kids for Grandpa's house Then a blizzard blew in and the car broke down So, we shared a quart of eggnog at a truck stop And I said, "Kids, this is unfortunate You think it's bad? Well it's inconvenient” But the most inconvenient Christmas ever was Was the first one

We will refer to other parts of this song throughout this series. Bob Kastens has been putting up the church sign since the death of Carolyn France and this week he put as the title of the sermon, “A Disturbing Christmas.” Did not have enough I’s for Inconvenient this week so he put up disturbing. Well, for this sermon that is applicable and probably a better title. People who are grieving often come to the holidays with disturbing thoughts. These holidays will not be good because so and so is no longer with us. That person just made the holidays special and now that they are gone, I would rather just skip the holidays, forget all about them. The Oak Ridge Boys are an American country and gospel vocal quartet originating in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. Started in 1943, through time, they changed their image and concentrated on country music. Elvira, their most famous song, was released in 1981. On September 19, 2023, the Oak Ridge Boys announced that they would be embarking on a farewell tour to mark their golden anniversary. Joe Bonsall, lead tenor, retired from the group due to what was later revealed to be ALS on December 17, 2023; he eventually died July 9, 2024 from ALS complications. Holidays, no Joe

Steven Covey tells about an experience that caused a major change in his perspective. He remembers one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly- some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me (Covey) and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I couldn’t believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. Finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I said to him, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?” The man lifted his gaze as if to come to an awareness of the situations for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.” Covey said, “Because I saw things differently. I thought differently. I felt differently. I behaved differently. My irritation vanished an my heart was filled with the man’s pain.” It’s incredible how viewing a situation more clearly can change how we think, feel, and react. I wonder if we need to see things differently when it comes to grief in our lives.

Thesis: Let’s talk about good grief- 3 parts of good grief

For instances:

Part 1- Lean into grief, don’t ignore it

Where does this idea come from? How about the Bible? The example of leaning into grief is sprinkled throughout the Bible. The prophet Jeremiah wrote an entire book in the OT called Lamentations. To lament means to passionately express grief or sorrow. Jeremiah wrote this book to talk about the fall of Jerusalem in 586 BC. Much of it is disturbing (our title) in the poetic descriptions of the atrocities and deaths. Jeremiah knows much about grief and is called the weeping prophet. Lamentations 3:31-33 (English Standard Version) For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief (the Lord at least could have stopped it), he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart (reminds me of a father who takes his child to the doctor and the doctor has to give a painful shot; dad holds the child and all the while the child is seething with anger at the father but it is for the child’s good) or grieve the children of men (does not want to grieve us). The Lord moves in mysterious ways. Anne Johnson Flint- God Hath Not Promised- God hath not promised skies always blue, Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through; God hath not promised sun without rain, Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.   But God hath promised strength for the day, Rest for the labor, light for the way, Grace for the trials, help from above, Unfailing sympathy, undying love.