It's All About Jesus (Colossians 4) Series

It’s all about Jesus: Colossians 4

Scott Bayles, pastor

Blooming Grove Christian Church: 11/13/2016

During the rehearsal for her wedding a nervous bride was having a difficult time remembering all the details. Her kind pastor took her aside at the end of the night and said, “When you enter the church tomorrow, you will be walking down the same aisle you’ve walked down many times before. Concentrate on the aisle. And when you get halfway down the aisle, concentrate on the altar. And, when you reach the end of the aisle, your groom will be waiting for you. Concentrate on him. Focus on the aisle, then look at the altar, and finally, lock eyes with your man. That’s all you have to do.”

That seemed to help a lot, and on the day of the wedding, the beautiful but nervous bride walked flawlessly down the aisle. But people were a bit taken aback as they heard her repeating these words during the processional, “Aisle, alter, him. Aisle, alter, him. I’ll alter him.”

That bride probably had a number of well-wishers. Many of us get married with the goal of altering our future spouse. Ashley called it training.

These last few weeks we’ve been surveying the book of Colossians, which is all about Jesus! Jesus is the center of the history and ought to be the center of our lives as well. In the first chapter, Paul describes who Jesus is and his supremacy over everything. In the second chapter, Paul assures us that we can find fulfillment and completeness in Jesus. Then in chapter three Paul begins to describe the All-About-Jesus life and by the time we reach the end of this chapter, we come face-to-face with the reality that if we’re serious about following Christ, Jesus will alter our lives.

Paul begins the second half of chapter three, saying, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17 NLT). In other words, everything we do should be done for Jesus. He then goes on to outline three areas of our lives that ought to be lived to the glory of Christ.

So if you have a Bible or an app on your phone, open it to Colossians 3. The first area of our home lives the Paul addresses is our marriage partnerships.

• PARTNERSHIPS

He writes, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18-19 NLT).

This command for wives to submit to their husbands has been both confusing and challenging for many contemporary families. For many it offends our modern sense of equality. But let me try to make sense of this command for you.

First, it’s important to note that husbands are also commanded to submit to their wives. Elsewhere, Paul writes to husbands and wives, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NIV). Remember, it’s all about Jesus. So out of reverence and respect for Christ, husbands and wives ought to submit to each other. That is, we respect each other and place the other person’s wants and needs above our own.

However, men are only instructed to submit to their wives once, whereas women are reminded to submit to their husbands four or five times. Similarly, wives are never commanded to love their husbands, while husbands are commanded to love their wives multiple times. I’m convinced there is a very good reason for this. I believe God is reminding us over and over what our spouse needs from us.

Countless psychologists and marriage counselors will tell you that most women’s number one emotional need in marriage is love—affection. What you don’t hear nearly as often is that men crave respect and admiration just as deeply.

The problem is we often get into a negative cycle. When a wife feels unloved, she has a tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. A few years ago, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah co-wrote a book titled Love & Respect. In preparation for the book, they asked 7,000 people this question: “When you are in a conflict with your spouse do you feel unloved or disrespected?” 72% of the women said, "unloved," while 83% of the men said, "disrespected."

Research reveals that during marital conflict a wife most often reacts when feeling unloved and a husband reacts when feeling disrespected. It’s no wonder then that the Bible says, “every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 GNT).