Meaningful Marriage Series

After reading a book called Man of the House during his commute home from work, the enlightened husband stormed into his house to confront his wife. Pointing his finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law. Tonight, you are to prepare me a gourmet meal and a sumptuous dessert. Then, when I’m done eating, you're going to draw me a bath so I can have a relaxing soak. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?”

His wife responded, “My guess is the funeral director” (Mikey's Funnies; www.PreachingToday.com)

There is a lot of confusion these days about the role of a woman in the home. Some think that she exists only to serve the man. Others believe the opposite, but many are just confused, and it leads to a lot of conflict.

Do you want to reduce the conflict and improve your marriage? Then open your Bibles and turn with me to Genesis 2, Genesis 2, where we find out why God made a woman.

Genesis 2:18: Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”

Up until now, God has declared every aspect of his creation “good.” Genesis 1:3 God saw that the light was good. Genesis 1:10 God saw that [the dry land] was good. Genesis 1:12 God made the plants and saw that it was good. Genesis 1:18 God made the sun, the moon and the stars and saw that it was good. Genesis 1:21 God made the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and saw that it was good. Genesis 1:31 God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

But here, God makes a man and He says, “It is NOT good.” Why? What is not good? It is not good that the man should be alone. And herein lies the first reason why God made a woman. God made a woman to be WITH her man. God made a woman to keep him company and to be his companion.

You see, most men do poorly without such a companion. A study has been going on for years, following hundreds of men who graduated from Harvard between the years of 1939 to 1944. The study has followed these men throughout their lives, now well into their 90’s. The researchers wanted to know who flourished, who didn’t, and the decisions they had made that contributed to their well-being. The lead scholar on the study for many years was the Harvard psychiatrist George Vaillant. He summarized the results in his book Triumphs of Experience, where he writes, “Happiness is love. Full stop.”

The current director of the study, the psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, filled in the details. He said that the subjects who reported having the happiest lives were those with strong family ties, close friendships, and rich romantic lives. The subjects who were most depressed and lonely late in life—not to mention more likely to be suffering from dementia, alcoholism, or other health problems—were the ones who had neglected their close relationships” (Arthur C. Brooks, “Are We Trading Our Happiness for Modern Comforts?” The Atlantic, 10-22-20; George Vaillant, Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study, Belknap Press, Reprint 2015, page 63; www.PreachingToday.com)

Like the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

Over the course of several months, Peter Skillman conducted a study pitting the skill of elite university students against that of the average kindergartner. Groups of four built structures using 20 pieces of spaghetti, 1 yard of tape, 1 yard of string, and 1 marshmallow. The only rule, the marshmallow had to end up on top.

Business students began by diagnosing the task, formulating a solution, and assigning roles. The kindergarteners, by contrast, got right to work, trying, failing, and trying again. If you think the business students did better, you might be surprised. In dozens of trials, the kindergartners built structures that averaged 26 inches tall, while the business school students built structures that averaged less than 10 inches.

How come? Daniel Coyle, the author who published this study, suggests that “individual skills are not what matters. What matters is the interaction. The kindergartners succeed not because they are smarter but because they work together in a smarter way. They are tapping into a simple and powerful method in which a group of ordinary people can create a performance far beyond the sum of their parts (Daniel Coyle, The Culture Code, Bantam, 2018, pp. xv-xvii; www.PreachingToday.com)

That principle works in marriage, as well. Two ordinary people can create a performance far beyond the sum of their parts. That’s why God made a woman—to give the man a partner, someone to be with him, someone to accompany him through life. So, if you want to improve your marriage, follow God’s design and...