Husbands, Love Your Wives Series

Open your Bibles to Ephesians 5:25-27 with me. We continue our year-long study of Ephesians and our recent series on marriage.

Someone recently asked a wife why she chose to marry an obnoxious man. She quickly surveyed the available men and said, “Supply chain issues.”

I am not claiming to be an expert in marriage. I want to say right up front that even though I have a wonderful marriage, a marriage that is as strong and stable as any marriage I know.

Yet, marriage is hard work. In fact, it is such hard work that fewer and fewer people are evening applying for the job. There is a woman that was recently engaged. She went to a friend for some marital advice. The friend said to her, “The first ten years of marriage are definitely the hardest.” The girl said, “How long have you been married.” She said, “Ten years.” Again, marriage is hard.

It doesn’t take a lot of work to have a bad marriage, but it does take a lot of work to have a good one. Do you know why marriage is so hard? It is because marriage involves people. The Bible says we are complex moral and spiritual creatures, and we drift to make ourselves happy first and foremost. Putting our own happiness in front of others is a major obstacle to a long-term, healthy, and happy marriage.

Let’s dig into Ephesians for help with our relationships. After asking wives to submit to their husbands, the Scripture turns the attention on the husbands.

Today’s Scripture (page 1162 in your pew Bibles)

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:25-27).

When marriages are strong, the whole community is blessed. And when marriages are weak, the whole community suffers. Everyone has skin in the game when it comes to marriage.

Let me begin by saying the message today is for everyone in this room. If you are currently married, this message is certainly is for you. If you are not married, but you wish you were married - this message is for you. If you are married and you wish you weren’t married - this message is really for you.

1. Husbands, Love Your Wives

Notice the first thing the Bible says to husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25).

Responsibility #1: The Bible commands you to love your wife. The word “love” is mentioned six times in this section, and the repetition shows us the importance of loving our wives. The Bible’s command to love your wife may not be new information for you, but it’s a needed reminder. Maybe loving your wife is easier said than done.

1.1 Wedding Ring

One day a man was riding on an airplane, and he noticed the man sitting next to him. He noticed something very unusual that his wedding ring was on his right index finger. Somewhat curious, he looked over to the man, and he said, “Sir, I believe you have your wedding ring on the wrong finger.” The man said, “No, I don’t; I married the wrong woman.” No doubt this husband was a joy to be married to!

Maybe loving your wife is easier said than done. Notice that nowhere does the Bible tell you to love her only if she’s loveable. A man doesn’t love his wife because she deserves to be loved; a man loves his wife in order to turn her into somebody who he wants to love. This is a command in Scripture. God commands you to love your wife. Just as God commands you not to steal and not to speak falsehood, He commands you to love your wife. Loving her means paying attention to her needs. All the way back at the beginning of the Old Testament, newlywed husbands were commanded to take the entire first year of marriage in order to “bring joy to [his] wife” (Deuteronomy 24:5). The husband was exempt from the military in ancient Israel in order to ensure his new marriage was happy and healthy. Husbands, take the responsibility to love your wife and to pay attention to her needs.

2.2 A Model Husband

In fact, love your wife daily for decades. Earlier this year, a woman passed away in the life of our church. She was placed on hospice care on her 50th wedding anniversary. Her husband loved her all the way through to the end. He married this single mother who had been abused by her first husband years ago. He loved her greatly, and they taught the Bible together in this church for years alongside one another. Then when she lay dying, no hospice nurse could come to the house due to the ice storm. So he cared for all her needs, including rigging a way to keep her warm when the power when out.