Cleaning Up The Mess Of Misunderstanding Series

Evelyn Shetter from Abilene, Kansas, accepted a lunch invitation with former coworkers. Since she was going to be gone over the lunch hour, she set the table and left dinner in the oven for Larry, her farmer husband. She scribbled him a note saying, “Dinner in oven.”

When she returned home at 4 p.m., she waved at Larry working outside, but he didn't wave back. “Guess he's had a bad day,” Evelyn thought.

In the kitchen, the plot thickened. There were no dirty dishes, and the casserole was still in the oven. However, a sandwich that Evelyn intended to throw away was missing from the refrigerator.

When Larry came in, she asked, “What did you have for dinner?”

Silence.

“Did you get my note?”

“Sure did,” he replied gruffly. “It said, ‘Dinner is over!’”

Evelyn now proofreads all her notes (Evelyn Shetter, Abilene, Kansas, "Lite Fare," Christian Reader, May/June 2000; www. PreachingToday.com).

Larry misunderstood Evelyn’s act of love because of a hastily scribbled note. But misunderstandings happen all the time between people who love each other, between husbands and wives, between church members, between leaders and those they serve.

So how do you clean up the mess of misunderstanding? How do you resolve the mix-up without making things worse? How do you clear up the confusion without creating more conflict? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to 2 Corinthians 1, 2 Corinthians 1, where the Apostle Paul addresses the Corinthian believers, who had misunderstood his act of love towards them.

2 Corinthians 1:12 For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you (ESV).

Paul begins by affirming the integrity of his behavior. His conscience is clear. It testifies that he acted with simplicity and sincerity. That is, he behaved with holiness and pure motives. “For,” he says…

2 Corinthians 1:13-14 …we are not writing to you anything other than what you read and understand and I hope you will fully understand— just as you did partially understand us—that on the day of our Lord Jesus you will boast of us as we will boast of you (ESV).

Their misunderstanding had caused them to doubt his sincerity and to be ashamed of their relationship with him. So Paul assures them that there was no hidden meaning in his communication with him, and he looks forward to the day when they will take pride in him as he takes pride in them, because he acted with integrity. And that’s exactly what you must do to clean up the mess of misunderstanding.

ACT WITH INTEGRITY.

Behave with holy and pure motives. Be above board and straightforward when you deal with people.

The Greek word translated “sincerity” in verse 12 describes an object that can bear the test of being held up to the light of the sun (Barclay). That is to say, those who behave with “godly sincerity” have nothing to hide. Even under the glaring light of the sun, people find no impurities.

Now, if that’s the way you always behave, even when people misunderstand what you do or say, they will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Seven-year-old first baseman Tanner Munsey never thought he'd end up in Sports Illustrated, but he did. While playing T-Ball in Wellington, Florida, Tanner fielded a ground ball and tried to tag a runner going from first to second base.

The umpire, Laura Benson, called the runner out, but young Tanner immediately ran to her side and said, "Ma'am, I didn't tag the runner." Umpire Benson reversed herself and sent the runner to second base.

Two weeks later, Laura Benson was again the umpire and Tanner was playing shortstop. This time Benson ruled that Tanner had missed the tag on a runner going to third base, and she called the runner safe. Tanner, obviously disappointed, tossed the ball to the pitcher and returned to his position. Benson asked Tanner what was wrong, and Tanner quietly said he'd tagged the boy.

Umpire Benson's response? "You're out!" She sent the runner to the bench. When the opposing coach rushed the field to protest, Benson explained what had happened two weeks before, saying, "If a kid is that honest, I have to give it to him" (Sports Illustrated, 9-16-93; www.PreachingToday.com).

When you act with integrity, people give you the benefit of the doubt.

Soon after I began my ministry on Washington Island in Wisconsin (2005), I said something from the pulpit on Sunday that got all twisted by the time it spread around that small island community the very next day. I had described Yoga as a Hindu prayer language and cautioned believers against it.