Marriage And Men Series

In Peter’s first letter – a letter that we have been focusing on since May of 2008 – Peter tells men that right living will help them pray. Peter tells us that our prayers can be clogged by how we treat our wives. This is an especially important commandment in our day for the definitions of men and marriage are up in the air.

FOR THE FIRST TIME in its history, Western civilization is confronted with the need to define the meaning of the terms “marriage” and “family.” What until now has been considered a “normal” family, made up of a father, a mother, and a number of children, has in recent years increasingly begun to be viewed as one among several options. Yet, this normal definition of family can no longer claimed to be the only definition of family or even a superior form of ordering human relationships. Yet, this redefinition of masculinity is set against the backdrop of a significant culture change that has spanned the past three decades. The rate of working women more than doubled in the latter half of the twentieth century. In 1977, 78 percent of Americans thought that preschoolers suffer if their mothers work; less than twenty years later, in 1993, only 45 percent of Americans thought so. In 1997, 76 percent of Americans believed that it was better for the man to work outside the home and for the woman to focus on the care of the home and family. By 1993, only 37 percent of Americans held that view. The gender revolution has made significant strides. Yet the feminist movement thinks the revolution has stalled. Paula England and Arlie Hochschild point out that most of the gender inequality now takes place inside the home. It is in the private world of the home that man fail to do their responsibility. According to these two scholars, women’s work outside the home is burdened by their devotion to the children inside the home. Because of this excessive toll, they are calling for a “second shift” in order to lessen the mother’s responsibility inside the home.

Our aim is to not to be traditional or contemporary. Our aim this morning is to see both men and women in their God-given complementary roles.

Today’s Big Idea is: Men, Understand and Honor Your Wives in order that God may Hear Your Prayers.

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)

If you wondering where or if we have addressed the role of women, the answer is yes. You can find my message on women on our website, click on the tab “sermons,” and you’ll find the message entitled “How to Minimize Marital Conflict.” We believe that male and female are equal. Yet we are equally affirming that men and women have different natures. Such an observation isn’t complex. Just watch children. You don’t have to be a sociologist or some kind of brilliant academic; all you have to do is watch. Boys will build stuff and knock it over; girls get two objects and make them friends Evidently, there are differences even as we get older.

Research and market surveys show that moms tend to be showered with gifts and attention on Mother's Day while Dads, not so much. Americans spend an average of $130 on Mother's Day. This year, they will spend an average of a little more than $90 for Dad today. For a successful marriage, you must…

1. Understand What Type of Wife You Have

According to Pastor Tony Evans of Oakcliffe, Texas: “The primary cause of this national crisis [the decline of the family] is the feminization of the American male.” Evans counsels the men to do the following thing: “The first thing you do is sit down with your wife and say something like this: ‘Honey, I’ve made a terrible mistake. I’ve given you my role. I gave up leading this family, and I forced you to take my place. Now I must reclaim that role.’” He continues: “Don’t misunderstand what I am saying here. I’m not suggesting that you ask for your role back; I’m urging you to take it back. If you simply ask for it, your wife is likely to say, ‘Look, for the last 10 years, I’ve had to raise these kids, look after the house, and pay the bills… I’ve had to do my job and yours. You think I’m just going to turn everything back over to you?”

The Scriptures are clear that there are two kinds of wives. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4). There is a type of wife that speaks life into her husband in such a way that she is the crown jewel of all that he accomplishes and all that he does. But there’s another type of wife that, like a cancer, she eats away at her man’s masculinity by belittling, attacking and chiseling away at him any opportunity she gets. And Proverbs disdains this woman constantly. The book of Proverbs says that it’s better for a man to live on his roof than it is for him to live with a woman who constantly belittles and berates him. “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife” (Proverbs 25:24). “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman” (Proverbs 21:19). If I get to make a list of ways I want to die, slowly cooking to death in the desert doesn't make the top forty. And He says it's better for a man to go out into the desert and die slowly than to live in the house with a woman who constantly nitpicks and attacks him. “A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;?16 to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand” (Proverbs 27:15-16). And when I first read that, I was like, “That doesn’t really sound too bad. Dripping faucets don’t bother me.” But then I started thinking, “Some governments use water to torture people.” Proverbs says loving a woman like this is like trying to grab hold of oil; loving a woman like that is like trying to stop the wind.