Care Enough To Correct Series

Motivating our sons and daughters to pursue a path of godliness isn’t always easy. It takes courage to stay the course and to stand our ground without losing heart. As Gods agents of change, parents must have love and the power of the Holy Spirit within in order to be successful.

Seven Insights on Correction:

1. Correction is Making Children Aware of Their Mistakes and Showing Them the Right Way

“My son, despise not...his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth...” (Proverbs 3:11,12).

When we as parent’s care – we will correct. When you go to a good doctor and you have a broken arm, he sets it. He “corrects” it. If you go to a concerned Optometrist, he will give you “corrective” lenses. There is a correct way and a wrong way. There is a healthy way and an unhealthy way. There is a foolish way and then there is God’s way. When we care enough, we correct. When we care, we lead. When we care, we have a plan.

Most parents have been advised to be careful that they don’t break the spirit of the child. This is true, but I submit to you that we don’t make negative children because we say negative things. In fact, the Bible itself is full of negative things. To be sure, God gives many positive promises, but He always gives the truth and if the truth is negative, then so be it. We don’t raise negative children because we say negative things, we raise negative children because we allow selfishness! This is what causes a person to be unhappy.

We used to sing a children’s chorus entitled J-O-Y. How do we have JOY? We put J-Jesus first, O-Others second and Y-Yourself last. Joy doesn’t come from always getting your own way. As parents, when we point out misbehavior or rude manners, we are actually helping children put God and others before themselves. Through calm reasoning, reasonable consequences and actually demonstrating how to do what is correct, we bring joy into their lives not a broken spirit.

The main thing about providing loving correction is to do so when your own spirit is under the Holy Spirit’s control. When parents lose control, that’s when correction takes the wrong course. The tone and manner that a parent says things is of utmost importance. We can say just about anything if we will do so in a tone that is gentle.

There are many voices today that tell us there is no right or wrong. This, my friend, is simply not true. Right is still right and that which we must teach our children. I do believe, however, this morality must have good reason to it. Not just a bunch of old wives tales or outdated customs. Nonetheless, anything that needs to be corrected, whether it’s something illegal, immoral, unethical, or unbiblical should be calmly and gently shared with your family.

I have always been a firm believer in talking to your children about what is going on as much as possible, and keeping them in the “moral loop” so to speak. Not just telling them what not to do, but also telling them the why not. For example, we might say, “I don’t want you to go outside.” It might be better to rephrase it, “I don’t want you to go outside because I am going to be taking a nap.” Or, “because, I want you to be safe.” To be sure, children don’t deserve an explanation, but I think it’s wise. Regardless, correction should be done because we love them and care about them.

2. Correction is Not Particularly Pleasant to the Child or the Parent

“My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:” (Proverbs 3:11).

Correction is not something any human likes. It is a process we naturally despise and get weary of. When a one-year-old finds out that they are wrong, they don’t like it. I’ve also found that a 15-year-old doesn’t like being told they are wrong either. The same is true when you’re 25, 55, or 75! Whether you’re 1 or 101, nobody likes correction. But how can we grow in grace if we don’t know what needs to be corrected? We are growing in sanctification when we can appreciate the help of someone sharing with us an area that needs to be corrected.

I believe we modern parents must free ourselves from the myth that growing up is about having as much fun as possible. I firmly believe that we should enjoy life. Paul told Timothy that Christians should, “richly enjoy all things” (1 Timothy 6:17). But richly enjoying all things is not just about having fun. God is more concerned that our children be holy than externally happy. In fact, everyone in the end has a better time when children are thoughtful and not rude.