Married To A Fool Series

OPENING

SENTENCE: His name was Mike.

INTRODUCTION: Mike was wealthy and very generous. He could be likable and charming and I am sure his wife saw those attributes when she married him. But, there was another side to Mike- he could be very opinionated and controlling leading him at times to be verbally abusive to his wife. He would demean her in public in ways that left her speechless and humiliated.

A few years into my pastorate at that church he came to me angry and emotional. He told me his wife was behaving badly- possibly even having an affair. Knowing Mike and his controlling tendencies it did not take me long to figure out what was going on. All the things his wife was doing fit the pattern of a distraught wife. But, because controlling people also tend to be highly jealous, I questioned his assessment of his wife’s unfaithfulness in light of her character.

I told him the problem I saw with how he treated his wife and why I questioned his evaluation of what was going on. Like others in the past, he got mad and left. Shortly after, I did find out his wife was inappropriately attentive to another man- validating Mike’s suspicions.

A few months later Mike returned to my office to thank me for our earlier meeting. I was surprised in that that seldom happens. He told me that when he left my office earlier he was furious with me but, it caused him to ask, “What if it is true.” So, he found a ministry called “Life Skills”, that helps abusive husbands change. He took a profile test and learned that he showed all the traits and then went to sessions deal with the issue. it was after completing his first stage that he came to me to thank me. It began to change his life- and he now leads sessions for the ministry.

TRANSITION

SENTENCE: There are far too many stories like Mikes but most do not recognize their abusiveness or allow themselves to change- as a result, they keep hitting the same brick wall.

TRANSITION: Like Mike, in many marriages, there is one person who dysfunctional that everyone else has to learn how to work around them. In fact, there is a field of study called, “Conjoint Family Therapy” built around that idea dealing with behavioral issues in children requires you also consider the key person that creating a dysfunctional dynamic in the family. We have learned that a high level of maturity and wisdom is required to handle abusive people.

SAY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY: This morning I want us to look at an example of such a person in the Bible and see how his wife handled a crisis that he created because of his foolish actions and behavior. We will look at a woman named Abigail and ask, “What can we learn from Abigail about how to handle being married to a fool?”

TEXT: I Samuel 25

THEME: Being married to a fool requires great wisdom and maturity.

What can we learn from Abigail about how to handle being married to a fool?

I. Your spouse’s foolish acts may sometimes require your skillful intervention. (1-13)

There are three characters in our story. With two of them, we see different responses in how they dealt with the dysfunctional character in the story. His name is Nabal.

A. Nabal’s foolishness becomes apparent as the story unfolds.

Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him, and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Paran. 2 A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite.

4 While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! 7 “‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8 Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore, be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’”

9 When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited.