10 Commandments #6: Let There Be Life! Series

LET THERE BE LIFE

Ten Commandments That Build Strong Families - Part 6

Exodus 20:13

Were in Part 6 in the series “Ten Commandments That Build Strong Families.”

Exodus 20:13 is very simple, just four words: "You shall not murder."

Some of you are saying, we can skip this one. Probably your urge to murder doesn't happen very

often, except when you're on a packed, stalled subway or highway. A lot of you may think you

don’t need this message....so you think.

Clarence Darrow once said, "I haven't killed anybody, but I've read a whole lot of obituaries with

glee."

I. WHAT DOES THE COMMAND “THOU SHALL NOT MURDER” MEAN?

The very first murder happened in a family. Cain killed his brother. In fact, today, most violent

crimes and most murders occur between family members. Domestic Violence is the largest

destroyer of marriages and families.

How many families do you know who are destroyed by violence and anger and bitterness. There

may not be a physical murder but many of us can attest to families who emotionally murder each

other, spreading seeds of resentment that often poisons the current and future generations.

II. HOW THIS COMMAND APPLIES TO THE FAMILY

God is saying “Value the way you treat your family!”

2. God says GED RID OF ROOTS OF ANGER and BITTERNESS

Violent, selfish, controlling, angry and unforgiving emotions kill families.

One of the most important life skills that you must learn is this: conflict resolution, how to

resolve a conflict and how to restore or reconcile a strained or broken relationship. If you don’t

learn this you’re family life will be miserable!

We’re imperfect and different, we will rub each other the wrong way. Conflict happens so easily

in families. If you run from conflict by staying away from your family, it’s not going to work,

you’re going to be miserable and unhappy much of your life because God made your family to

fill a special place in your heart and avoiding them will always keep that place empty and lonely.

Conflict resolution is an important skill for a strong and healthy family. You have to know how

to resolve a conflict, if you’re a parent, with your spouse, with your children, with friends, in the

community, at church, in a ministry group – literally everywhere.

LET THERE BE LIFE!

Ten Values That Build Strong Families - Part 6

2

Here’s the problem. Nobody teaches you how to do it. Most of our parents were not very good

models of conflict resolution because nobody taught them. You didn’t ever take a class on how

do you restore a broken relationship. Yet this is one of the most important skills to your

happiness in life.

We’re going to look at the seven steps of how to resolve a conflict and restore a broken

relationship. We’re not going to get relief from conflict by killing our relatives, we’re going to

learn how to live in PEACE with them!

Matthew 5:9 says this “God blesses those who are peacemakers. They [peacemakers] will be

called the children of God.”

The proof that you are really a child of God is you’re a peacemaker.

Peacemaking is not: avoiding, or appeasing. Some people think “I know how to keep peace in my

marriage; I learn not to rock the boat. I sweep everything under the rug. I swallow it. I grin and

bear it.”

That’s not peacemaking; that’s cowardice. That doesn’t help or heal your family. Peacemaking

is not running from the problem. It’s not appeasing. Appeasing means always giving in. You

always let them get their way. It’s peace at any price. That’s called codependency. Jesus Christ

never ran from a legitimate conflict. He knew how to deal with it face on and how to resolve it

and how to restore a relationship.

The Bible says God blesses those who are peacemakers.

There are 3 reasons why we need to deal with our anger and resentment towards our

family members?

o Number one, it blocks my fellowship with God.

Unresolved conflict blocks my fellowship with God. You cannot be right with God and wrong

with other people.

God says you can’t be right me and wrong with others. The Bible says in 1 John 4 “You can’t

love God whom you’ve never seen if you don’t love the people you do see. To claim that you love

God while hating others makes you a liar.

o It blocks my prayers from being answered

It keeps my prayers from being answered. Did you know that when you’re out of whack in

relationships the Bible says God cannot hear your prayers? Why? Because God is love and the

LET THERE BE LIFE!

Ten Values That Build Strong Families - Part 6

3

number one thing God wants you to learn as his child and representative is to learn how to love.