The Husband's Side Series

Have you ever felt unloved or uncared for by your spouse? He was too busy with his sports game, shop work, chopping wood, etc. to spend time with you. He comes home tired from work and just ready to zone out and watch television for a bit and doesn’t understand why you keep talking and won’t leave him alone. This miscommunication has a great deal to do with the fact that only one half of the relationship is functioning. You see on Mother’s day we spoke about how men can better love their wives. The Beatles song, “All You Need Is Love” is actually dead wrong in my opinion. Yes, love needs to exist within a marriage but something more is also needed. Women communicate in a way to connect and receive love. In turn, many times you try to talk to us in the same way and if you haven’t noticed, it isn’t working. The genders are very different physiologically, emotionally, and mentally.

One child hadn’t quite learned the difference between male and female when his father decided to take him to look at some baby kittens. When the child got home he said to his mother, “There were two male kittens and two female kittens.” She was slightly surprised and asked him, “How could you tell?” “Well,” He said, “Dad picked them up and looked on the bottom. They must have a label on their bottom that tells you.” Well, He is very close. We have some major differences in how we function, work, and what builds us up verses what tears us down.

I know ladies that you try very hard to show your children and your spouses love and that is very important but I want you to latch on to the last part of the verse. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” This verse never questions women’s ability to love but it does challenge you to respect your husband as you respect your God. Just as God unconditionally loves you he calls you to respect your husband. 1 Peter 3:1-2 speak about the issue of respect as well. “In the same way, you wives be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” Your behavior could bring your husband to Christ. Amazing! God designed the system in such a way that your respect will have incredible effects on your spouse. How you react and treat your husband can change their world.

If being obedient to God and the chance of helping your husband and maybe even bringing him to Christ don’t convince you to show him respect then I challenge you to think about it in one more way. One day when your child gets married, if it is your son, you will want your daughter in law to love and respect him. You will want him to be treated like a prince. She shouldn’t yell and scream at him and she shouldn’t treat him second rate, right? I remember some of the proceedings before Amy and I got married. Her father forbid us from getting married and forced her to send me an email saying she wouldn’t marry me. Well, this devastated me of course even though I knew something was fishy. My mother hated Amy because she broke my heart. It took me forever to get my mom to realize it wasn’t Amy’s fault. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t protect your little boy. Now, would you have your little boy treated like you treat your husband? Let’s make sure you would by reviewing 6 tools to help you better respect your husband (and set a better example for your daughters).

Conquest – Appreciate his Desire to Achieve – Genesis 2:15

“Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.”

Male beings were created with the aptitude to work, achieve, and challenge the world. Man himself was set to work from the day he was made. Adam began working in the perfect garden by keeping it clean, keeping the ground fertile, trimming the trees and pruning the bushes. Man’s first job was almost like a zookeeper actually. In verse 20, Adam sits down and begins naming all the animals in the garden. Unfortunately, when Adam had finished working with the animals he still hadn’t found a suitable helper. So, after giving Adam a full-time job of grounds keeper as well as zookeeper, He thought to give Adam someone to help him in his work. God then put Adam to sleep and created Eve from Adam’s rib. He created her and called her Adam’s “helpmeet” or helper. From the very beginning Adam had to work. Men seem to have this innate desire to achieve. Men are generally very goal oriented while most women are people-oriented. Men want to get things done; women want to enjoy each others company. Adam was created and set to work while Eve was created and set at man’s side to help.