Marriage 101 Series

Back in the 1980s, Buckminster Fuller created what is known as the “Knowledge Doubling Curve.” Fuller was an author, architect, systems theorist, inventor, designer, and futurist, and again, he presented the idea of the “Knowledge Doubling Curve.” Fuller observed that until 1900 human knowledge doubled every century. By the end of World War II, the world´s combined knowledge was doubling every 25 years. IBM later published a report that by 2010, the world´s knowledge would be doubling every 11 hours.

Knowledge is growing faster than we can absorb. In some fields, what we learned five years ago is now obsolete. Now in a day when artificial intelligence is possible, are we still really going to a 2,000-year-old manual on the topic of marriage. Surely, we would be served well to turn our attention to the latest research on marriage, many would think. When it is new, it’s thought to be true and what is old is antique and obsolete. While marriage experience and marriage research can help us, it’s the time-honored truth of God’s Word that we turn to.

Jesus’ View of Marriage

When Jesus was asked about marriage, He always went back to the first marriage, the marriage of Adam and Eve. Jesus said this: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:6-9).

Jesus identifies two Rocky mountain peaks of granite truth that stand out against a backdrop of marital dysfunction of our day: 1) The two shall become one flesh and 2) what God has joined together, let no one separate. Those two bedrock principles of marriage are granite-like for all marriages everywhere. If we do turn an eye toward marriage research at secular universities, we discover some surprising trends. While the time-honored truths of marriage and relationships have not changed, our relationships practices have drastically changed.

Living Together

According to the people at Pew Research Center, the number of unmarried people living together continues to be on the rise. In fact, for people between the ages of 18-44, the share of adults ages 18 to 44 who have ever lived with an unmarried partner (59%) has surpassed the share who has ever been married (50%). Most couples live together before getting married.

Relationship Sequence

In the past, and this is true especially for women, the relationship sequence that most ladies aimed to follow went like this: dating then marriage, which led to sex, then living together, and then children. Today, marriage comes near the end of the line. This relationship sequence is now sex, cohabitation, and sometimes children, all of which precede marriage, and this has become the norm in our society.

So with knowledge doubling so rapidly, let’s revisit the ancient wisdom of the Bible. Now, this leads to a major divide when viewing marriage. For those with relationship collateral, you see marriage through the lens of cynicism. For those who have little to no relationship history, you see marriage through the lens of optimism. I wish that everyone approached marriage with optimism. But we have a generation of collateral damage when it comes to marriage. There is so much cynicism when it comes to marriage. If you’re cynical about marriage, it’s probably your relationship history. Maybe your cynicism comes from your parents, or it is more personal. Will you hit the “pause button on your doubts and your cynicism and consider Christian marriage for a few moments.

Christian Marriage

I want you to have a Christian marriage and not just a good marriage. Yes, non-Christians can enjoy marriage and can even have good marriages. But I am advocating not simply good marriages but Christian marriages.

What is a Christian marriage?

A Christian marriage is the permanent union of two born-again people of the opposite sex coming together in every way possible (intimately, emotionally, financially) for the purpose of radical oneness that is modeled in the Trinity and for the goal of encouraging and equipping one another for the time when each appears before Jesus. Don’t just aim for a good marriage. Aim instead for a God-honoring Christian marriage that is transformative for you and the generations to come. Ephesians does just that. It brings us back to God’s very design for marriage. It unpeels the layers of the onion all the way back. Marriage is a gift from God for you to enjoy. And Ephesians shows us that your marriage will be stronger and happier when you live by Christian principles.

Today’s Scripture

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22-24).