#3putting Fires Out: Communication Skills Series

#3 PUTTING OUT FIRES: POLISHING OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS!

By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com

I will email this in three parts, but the lesson being taught is a multiple part series.

Introduction:

Today we have many problems that come from a lack of wisdom and poor communication skills. We need to polish our communication skills and learn to put out fires and emotions by good conversation and communication.

James warns us the tongue is full of deadly poison.

James again warns that the tongue can ignite many fires that bring great destruction.

Let us look at some literary tools and devices both good and bad and let us come to the Father justified by our words.

A word can be very powerful. Your words can launch you to new heights.

Your words can become a trap and a snare.

Few ever learn the power of a word.

Words are tools. Words can aid us to accomplish God’s works, or we can hinder God’s work by poor word usage.

Your brain should be in gear before you ever open your mouth.

Words can never be recalled. A word is a shadow of a deed!

A word spoken in due season, how good it is!

But what about an ill word at an ill season?

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

27 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

XXI. LIE NOT ONE TO ANOTHER, TO DEAL FALSELY IS A POOR

COMMUNICATION SKILL! WHAT IS TRUTH? WHAT IS A LIE?

A. To lie to another kills the trust factor.

Leviticus 19:11 Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.

Colossians 3:9 Lie not one to another seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds.

B. LIE:

***To make an untrue statement with intent to deceive

***To create a false or misleading impression

***Dishonesty, fib *** To mislead

***Unreliable statements of fact or intention

***An inaccurate statement

***To tell a falsehood

C. WHAT IS A LIAR? CHRONIC BEHAVIOR?

One that persistently and chronically lies and mishandles the truth.

To habitually tell falsehoods will bring much pain.

E. Do we try to speak what we think others want to hear?

F. COMMUNICATION CAN NOT GROW ON THE SHAKY FOUNDATION OF DISHONESTY AND LIES.

G. YOU CAN NEVER BUILD A GOOD FRIENDSHIP BASED ON LYING, COVERING UP, AND HIDING BEHAVIORS.

H. Do you lie or tell half truths and white lies?

One lie calls for another lie.

I. IN COURT CASES THE BAILIFF WILL ASK THE WITNESS

TO ANSWER THREE QUESTIONS.

1. Will you tell the truth?

2. Will you tell the whole truth?

3. Will you tell nothing but the truth?

J. Many people would never tell a lie, but they will play games in half-truths.

What is the difference in a lie and a white lie?

K. Communication must be honest!

We must speak free from fraud or deception!

Be genuine and real.

L. THERE MUST BE RAPPORT AND HARMONY OF HONESTY AND INTEGRITY!

A Christian must communicate in integrity!

We have to firmly adhere to a Godly code of moral values as a standard in our speech and actions.

M. Our words must be morally excellenct and not fudging the facts to make self look good.

N. Can we have confidence in each others words, honest words?

O. TO LIE IS SIN!

Quit lying and deception in any form!

You cannot help a liar! You must tell the truth.

WE NEED FORGIVENESS!

P. ARE YOU A PERSON OF YOUR WORD?

Can others count on you?

Will you pay your bills?

CAN OTHERS HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR WORDS?

XXII. WE MUST LEARN TO AVOID THE BLAME GAME IN OUR

COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS THAT WE DEVELOP.

A. All humans have tendencies.

A few of those tendencies are palliation and blame.

B. To palliate is to cover our mistakes by excuses and apologies, and then not correct the problem. We try to make our words seem not as bad as others.

C. Then we tend to want to blame others for what we have done.

We like to pass the responsibility to someone else for our actions.

D. In fear Adam hid from God.

God said, ADAM WHERE ARE YOU?

Adam then smacks God with the blame game.

Genesis 3:12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

13 And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.