In Sermon Illustrations: "Week"

Baptized Cucumbers  PRO

Contributed by Thomas Donelan on Oct 12, 2010

BAPTIZED CUCUMBERS What is this (a cucumber), and what is this (a pickle?) No, it is a baptized Cucumber! A few thoughts on this: 1. When those cucumbers are put in that pickling jar and covered with the pickling juice and sealed, they do not get any more juice, they are heated and stored for ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:19-20

Tags: Holy Spirit Baptism

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Don't Be Impatient

Contributed by Tim White on Apr 15, 2013

DON'T BE IMPATIENT When I was a teen-ager, my mom finally gave in to my dad. After mom and dad bought our Christmas, dad talked mom into allowing us to open the gifts days, sometimes weeks early. He couldn’t wait until we opened our gifts. The problem is that it took a lot of the joy out of ...read more

Tags: Time

Denomination: Baptist

Drive-Thru Fellowship  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 21, 2014

DRIVE-THRU FELLOWSHIP This week I read a story about a pastor traveling with a Brazilian seminary student. Along the way the pastor asked the student if he would like to stop for a cup of coffee. The student said, "I would be honored." So he swung into a Starbucks, went through the drive-thru. ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:42-47

Tags: Fellowship, Sharing Life

Don't Eat The Peanuts!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 20, 2019

A pastor went to call on one of the elderly widows of his church. While visiting with her, he noticed a big bowl of shelled peanuts on the coffee table. During the long conversation with the little old widow, the pastor began nibbling on the peanuts and soon the entire bowl was empty! The ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7

Tags: Humor, Pastors, Jokes, Deception, Hospitality  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Burning The Turkey

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019

But what if you burn the bird? There is a positive way of looking at it: • Salmonella won't be a concern • No one will overeat. • Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened. • Uninvited guests will think twice next year. • Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:1-5

Tags: Thanksgiving, Turkey, Thanksgiving Humor

Denomination: Independent/Bible

If Every Dog Has Its Day I Should Be Barking

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 2, 2019

Lately, I have been getting behind in my work schedule. Just when I think I am caught up, I discover something I had forgotten about. If only I could forget what I forgot, I would be happy. I am pretty close to being a master at the “O, I simply forgot about that” excuse. Getting away with it ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:38

Tags: Relationships, Stewartship

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Q: How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Change A ...  PRO

Contributed by Ted Sutherland on Oct 1, 2001

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford? Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one but it will take a million years. Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but the bulb has got to ...read more

Tags: Love Of The Disciples

Denomination: Baptist

My Daughter Served As A Camp Counselor This ...  PRO

Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Aug 26, 2003

My daughter served as a camp counselor this summer. It is a camp in which there are several camps contained in one location. She was a gap counselor and therefore served in several different ones. One camp is called Camp Sparrowood. It is a camp for the mentally challenged ages 8-99. She was ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 2:20

Tags: Love Of The Disciples, Discipleship

Denomination: United Methodist

Bad Judges Have Highlighted The News More Than ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Bad judges have highlighted the news more than ever the last few months as investigations into rulings doled out to child predators have revealed so many judges exercising extreme lenience that is not helping our kids safety. It’s one thing for a judge to be merciful, but quite another thing to ...read more

Tags: Parable Widow

Twenty-Six Men Standing

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 14, 2011

TWENTY-SIX MEN STANDING A missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home church in MI. "While serving at a small field hospital in Africa, every 2 weeks I traveled by bicycle through the jungle to the nearest large city for supplies. This was a journey of 2 days and required ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 6:18

Tags: Prayer Answered

Sarah's Vase  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 21, 2011

SARAH'S VASE Just like life comes in the place of death, so honor comes in the place of service. Pediatrician David Cerqueira tells the story of a little girl in his wife's Sunday School class. His wife had prepared a lesson on being useful and told the children that everyone can be useful in ...read more

Scripture: John 12:23-26, Mark 14:1-9

Tags: Servanthood

God Will Go Before You!

Contributed by Bala Samson on Oct 17, 2014

I will go ahead of you! Exodus 17:6”Behold, I will stand before you there on the rock at Horeb, and you shall strike the rock, and water shall come out of it, and the people will drink..” I simply love these words! God would go before us to prepare the place of miracle! Moses struck the rock but ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 17:6

Tags: Miracles, Trust In God, God Before You, Never Alone

Denomination: Pentecostal

The Fixer-Preacher - Pastor Appreciation Help

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Jun 24, 2025

The Fixer-Preacher Celebrating Pastor Appreciation Day It’s not every day I get to stand up here and talk to everyone on a Sunday morning, but when I do, it’s for a pretty special reason. Picture this: sunlight fills the room, the choir is quietly humming, and you can smell fresh coffee in the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Romans 13:7, Hebrews 13:7, 1 Timothy 5:17, 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13, Ephesians 4:11  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Humor, Laughter, Pastor Appreciation, Introductions, Pastor Humor, Icebreakers, Sermon Starters  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

Be An Encourager, Fathers Day - My Relationship With My Son

Contributed by J Jeffrey Smead on Nov 25, 2025

God the Father ... Loves His Children ... and He is also quick to .... encourage His children. (Long Pause) And ... I learned that ... the hard way. As a father ... you want the best for your children ... you want them to succeed. To succeed ... at everything they do. Kristin ... our first ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 1:9, Ephesians 4:29, Romans 8:38-39, Romans 5:8

Tags: Prayer, Encouragement, Friend, Encourage, Father, Children, Son  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Anglican

So God Made A Farmer

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 6, 2024

In James chapter 5, we see a comparison between the patient farmer in the field waiting for his crops and the waiting believer in Christ preparing to meet the Lord at His return. Paul Harvey did a masterful job of describing the life of the farmer years ago. And on the 8th day, God looked down ...read more

Scripture: James 5:7-12, 1 Thessalonians 5:13-18

Tags: Return Of Christ, Prophets, Farmers, Waiting, End Times, Prophecy, Second Coming, Last Days, Rapture, Patience, Job  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When I Was A Freshman At Lincoln Christian ...

Contributed by Matthew Rogers on Feb 25, 2002

When I was a freshman at Lincoln Christian College, I had an experience that made me seriously question my calling into the ministry. My professor for a class on the Life of Christ had approached me about leading the group in a Scripture reading and prayer to begin our class time. I agreed. But ...read more

Tags: Christian Love, Gifts Encouragement

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

There Was A Young Pastor Fresh Out Of Seminary. ...

Contributed by Don Jones on Jan 7, 2007

There was a young pastor fresh out of seminary. Had finally gotten called to his first church and was extremely excited. He had 3 years of fresh new ideas and he couldn’t wait to take over so he could show and tell the church what to do. The first Sunday he stood before the church and gave ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

Personal Truth To The Resurrection  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 20, 2002

PERSONAL TRUTH TO THE RESURRECTION Christian author and activist Chuck Colson draws evidence for the resurrection for personal experience. Colson was a part of the Nixon Whitehouse during the Watergate scandal of seventies. He writes: Watergate involved a conspiracy to cover up, ...read more

Americans Are Willing To Spend Billions To Lose ...  PRO

Contributed by Victor Yap on Jan 8, 2003

Americans are willing to spend billions to lose weight. Marketing products and services to dieters is a cinch, a dream, and a no-brainer big business, and easy money, because more than 120 million or 61% of people in the USA are overweight, obese, or overweight by 30 pounds or more. The common ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 3:4-6

Tags: Peace, Testing, Giving Yourself, Christian Disciplines

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Suffering Of "El Santo"  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 13, 2003

THE SUFFERING OF "EL SANTO" Sister Yolanda Tarango discovered "El Santo" one day when as a small girl she was sent to the family shed to finish throwing her pity party. She noticed a strange parcel in the corner, covered with a heavy cloth. Peering under the cover, she was shocked to find bloody ...read more

Tags: Easter Good Friday, Jesus Christ, Humanity Of Christ