Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 15, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 4,951 views
COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
A woman went to court and told the judge she wanted a divorce. "Do you have any grounds?" the judge asked.
"Just two acres," she replied.
"That's not it, lady. I mean, do you have a grudge?"
"No, we park the car in the front of the house."
Frustrated, the judge
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 24, 2019
My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings. “Mom, I call all the time,” I said. “If you had an answering machine, you’d know.” Soon after, my brother installed one for her. When I called the next time, I got her machine: “If you are a
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Guy Caley on Jan 20, 2002
based on 21 ratings
| 5,638 views
WARNING SIGNS
At an intersection, the green light changes to yellow;
At the theater the house lights flash;
In the Battalion Tactical Operations Center a Warning Order comes down from Brigade;
At the airport terminal the boarding call comes over the intercom;
At a railroad crossing the lights
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Robert Leroe on Jul 6, 2002
based on 4 ratings
| 2,778 views
HOP IN AND PRAY
Robert LeRoe tells this story: When I was stationed in Frankfurt, Germany, I often reported to V Corps Headquarters, which was located in the historic Abrams Bldg. To get upstairs there were two options-either take the stairs, or the Paternoster, a very unusual elevator. There
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Congregational
based on 27 ratings
| 4,569 views
Seeing the value?
An artist took a paint brush and painted a picture in two colors.
He called the picture ’BLUE AND GRAY."
The artist listened to a critic that couldn’t even paint and threw the picture in a corner and it gathered dust many years.
One day someone saw the picture and offered to buy
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Oct 11, 2002
based on 3 ratings
| 2,196 views
At a dinner party one night, Lady Churchill was seated across the table from Sir Winston Churchill, who kept making his hand walk back and forth across the table ---two fingers bent at the knuckles. The fingers appeared to be walking toward Lady Churchill. Finally, her dinner partner asked, "Why
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United Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2002
based on 5 ratings
| 1,755 views
… the probability of just eight prophecies being fulfilled is one chance in one hundred million billion. That number is millions of times greater than the total number of people who’ve ever walked the planet.
… if you took this number of silver dollars, they would cover the state of Texas to
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based on 46 ratings
| 1,579 views
There is the story of a taxpayer who needed to ease his conscience. "A taxpayer wrote to the Internal Revenue Service, "I have not been able to sleep well for two years. Here is my check for $1,200 for back taxes." He even signed his name, then added a short P.S. "If I don’t sleep better in a week,
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United Methodist
Contributed by Evie Megginson on Jul 19, 2003
based on 15 ratings
| 2,605 views
A preacher recently quit the ministry after more than 20 years of faithful, dedicated service and became a funeral director. When asked why he changed vocations, he said:
"I spent 10 years trying to straighten out John and he’s still an alcoholic. Then I spent three and one-half years trying to
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Baptist
Contributed by Stan Rodda on Oct 19, 2004
based on 2 ratings
| 4,349 views
I was eating in a restaurant when Mike Croel, a linebacker for the Denver Broncos walked in. I was so excited because he played for the Nebraska Cornhuskers in college and I had followed his career closely. I happened to be wearing Huskers stuff and went and got his autograph right there at the
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Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 1 rating
| 2,281 views
Bucket Theology
Two buckets of water were mentioned in the Bible. Do you remember what Pilate did when he had a chance to acquit Jesus? He called for a bucket and washed his hands of the whole thing. Matthew 27:24: “When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was
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Independent/Bible
based on 9 ratings
| 2,756 views
ILLUSTRTATION: ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?
Addressing a national seminar of Southern Baptist leaders, George Gallup said, "We find there is very little difference in ethical behavior between churchgoers and those who are not active religiously...The levels of lying, cheating, and stealing are remarkable
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Phillip Weaver on Apr 9, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 4,496 views
Do you remember the feelings of disappointment Dorothy and her friends had when the Great and Magnificent Wizard of Oz was exposed behind the curtain? Do you remember that scene? The Wizard spoke with much sound and fury, but seemed to have little substance once the curtain was pulled back. Did
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Baptist
Sermon Central