Contributed by Gordon Curley on Jun 5, 2011
I CAN'T TELL A LIE
A grandmother was looking after her two little grandchildren, a 7-year-old girl, and a 5-year-old boy, and both these children had been very, very naughty.
As the time drew near for their mother to pick them up, the little girl asked, "Are you going to tell Mummy how we
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Brethren
Contributed by Scott Jensen on Mar 28, 2012
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE...
When Oliver Wendell Holmes was still on the U.S. Supreme Court, he and Justice Louis Brandeis took walks every afternoon. On one of these occasions Holmes, then ninety-two, paused to gaze in frank admiration at a beautiful young girl who passed them. He even turned to look
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Lutheran
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 15, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 5,081 views
COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
A woman went to court and told the judge she wanted a divorce. "Do you have any grounds?" the judge asked.
"Just two acres," she replied.
"That's not it, lady. I mean, do you have a grudge?"
"No, we park the car in the front of the house."
Frustrated, the judge
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 24, 2019
My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings. “Mom, I call all the time,” I said. “If you had an answering machine, you’d know.” Soon after, my brother installed one for her. When I called the next time, I got her machine: “If you are a
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Phillip Weaver on Apr 9, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 4,571 views
Do you remember the feelings of disappointment Dorothy and her friends had when the Great and Magnificent Wizard of Oz was exposed behind the curtain? Do you remember that scene? The Wizard spoke with much sound and fury, but seemed to have little substance once the curtain was pulled back. Did
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Baptist
Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Sep 18, 2006
Consecration to career
The late English property developer John Redhead worked hard all his life, and made a lot of money. Upon his death recently, he stipulated that his ashes be made into two egg timers, and be presented to his bank manager and taxman. Why? Towards the end of his life,
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Terry Barnhill on Nov 5, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 6,857 views
CHILREN’S SERMON
I once heard about a confrontation between a young boy and his mother.
The mother asked her son, "Young man, there were two cookies in the pantry this morning! May I ask how it happened that there’s only one now?"
The boy didn’t flinch but said, "It must’ve been so dark I didn’t
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Nov 18, 2000
based on 384 ratings
| 4,637 views
A small boy was writing a letter to God about the Christmas presents he badly wanted. "I’ve been good for six months now," he wrote. But after a moment’s reflection he crossed out "six months" and wrote "three". After a pause that was crossed out and he put "two weeks". There was another pause
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 14, 2001
based on 207 ratings
| 1,585 views
Top 10 Ways You Know You’re In A Bad Church
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9 . The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. Worship
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Contributed by Joel Pankow on May 3, 2001
based on 55 ratings
| 1,817 views
When Lewis and Clark traveled across America, it took two years, four months, and nine days. They had traveled about 6,000 miles. They brought back much new material for map makers and specimens of previously unknown wildlife. American settlers and traders soon began to travel over the route they
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Lutheran
Contributed by Jeff Strite on May 8, 2001
based on 222 ratings
| 7,822 views
Back in 1989 the missionary: Gene Dulin wrote:
A Romanian Christian told me of a communist government restriction on baptisms. One restraint was that proselytizing - baptizing someone from a non-church family - was forbidden.
Another law required that the names of all who were to be baptized
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Christian/Church Of Christ
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