In Sermon Illustrations: "Too Literal"

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: The "Bad Axe” Incident

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on May 3, 2024

Introduction: This is a follow up to the story of Elisha being asked, maybe as an afterthought?, to go with student prophets as they built a new facility. One of these men had borrowed an axe but something awful happened. By the way, this story has nothing whatsoever to do with the city of Bad ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 6:1-7

Tags: Elisha, Jordan River, Sons Of The Prophets, Axes

Denomination: Baptist

Wheat ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 5, 2012

WHEAT HARVEST I grew up in Wellington, Kansas which is a small farm town of about 8,000 people located 30 miles south of Wichita, Kansas. Wellington’s big claim to fame is being the Wheat Capitol of the World. The farmers of my home town produce more wheat per capita than anywhere else in the ...read more

Scripture: John 4:34-38

Tags: Evangelism Urgency

Cobia, Bigfoot, And God - Elusive Searching

Contributed by Jack Kale on May 10, 2016

Cobia, Bigfoot, and God I’ve been three times now and I’m starting to lose hope. I keep hearing rumors about these tasty leviathans that meander just off the second sandbar on their annual pilgrimage around the Gulf of Mexico. I’ve heard rumors of folks catching them off the pier and even seen ...read more

Scripture: John 20:29

Tags: Search, Finding God, Fishing, Bigfoot

Denomination: *other

Grow As You Go.' The First Sermon In This Series ...  PRO

Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 7, 2008

‘Grow as You Go.’ The first sermon in this series took us to Moses and his encounter with God. We were told that God had a role, an important one at that, for Moses and it was in line with God’s plan and story and not Moses’ plan and story. In other words, we ‘grow’ in our Christian faith and ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 95:1-11, Matthew 12:33-37, Acts 4:1-37

Tags: Outreach, Worship, Faithfulness, Practice, Examine, Education  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Church Of God

A Sword And A Tear!" 2 Timothy 2: 22-26: Key ...  PRO

Contributed by Mark Brunner on Aug 24, 2004

“A Sword and a Tear!” 2 Timothy 2: 22-26: Key verse(s): 24-25a “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 2:22-26

Tags: Christian Love, Compassion

Denomination: Lutheran

Cups Of The ...

Contributed by Terry Laughlin on Aug 11, 2008

Cups of the Lord Cup of Salvation Psalms 116:13 says, “I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.” The opening verse of psalm 116 says, “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.” (Psalm 116:1) Dewight Jones tells us that there are some 32 ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 116:13

Tags: Salvation

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Heaven, A Real Place

Contributed by Terry Laughlin on Aug 11, 2008

Heaven, A Real Place Jesus said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. In My Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6

Tags: Heaven

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Heaven, A Personal Place

Contributed by Terry Laughlin on Aug 11, 2008

Heaven, A Personal Place Jesus said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. In My Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6

Tags: Heaven

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

What Is It Like On The Other Side?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Dec 22, 2022

Kansas City, Missouri is separated from Kansas City, Kansas by the Missouri River. Years ago, there was a farmer who lived on the Kansas side of the river. He had a farm, a wife and a beautiful daughter. The farmer and his family had never been across the river. They had lived their whole life on ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6

Tags: Death, Revelation, Heaven, Hope, Eternal Life, New Jerusalem, Funerals  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Family Resemblance

Contributed by Rick Crandall on Sep 23, 2025

Family Resemblance *There will always be resemblance in families, and I'm not just talking about our physical appearance. I'm talking about the way we talk, our mannerisms, our quirks, our habits, and our attitudes. Well, what's true about our earthly families is also true about ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 144:1-15

Tags: Deceivers, The Lord Of Hosts, Floods, High Tower, Righteous War, Deliverer, King David, Brevity, Praise The Lord, Mortality, Traitors, Shield, Salvation, Joy, Rock, Fortress, God's Help  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

Glorify God In Your Body

Contributed by Sam Mccormick on Dec 15, 2016

When I was in high school at Littlefield, Texas, a boy was occasionally seen in the corridors who I did not ever see in my classes. His head was a grayish purple color, irregularly shaped, and at least twice the size of a normal person’s head. I understood that he was a student at the school who ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:20

Tags: Body, Glorify, Elephant, Proteus

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

It Never Dawned On Me Until

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 20, 2022

I must confess I am too poor to pay attention at this time in my life. I hope one day I will win the lottery and be able to afford to pay attention. But, of course, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says that you can’t win a lottery unless you play the lottery. Well, I don’t play the lottery. ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Attention, Listening

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Where Oh Where Is My Hair

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 25, 2025

It is true that I don't pay attention to many things in life. I guess I'm just too busy to notice everything. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage always asks me why I'm not paying attention. To keep engaged in that argument, I say, "I'm too poor to pay attention. Could I ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 1:10

Tags: Bald, Old, Hair

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Post Thanksgiving Wishbone

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 30, 2019

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I can sit back and recoup from the activity. I'm not sure about anybody else, but a holiday such as Thanksgiving takes a lot out of me. Of course, it puts a lot in me, but that's another story. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly were ...read more

Scripture: Mark 6:31

Tags: Thanksgiving, Holiday

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Hallelujah… She’s Baaaaack

Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 4, 2021

I have learned that you don't miss something until it is gone. Unfortunately, sometimes, it's too late. Over six weeks ago, or was it nine months, I took my truck in for a regular checkup. I was going away for the week, so I thought I would drop the truck off and let them work on it when ...read more

Scripture: 2 John 1:8

Tags: Stress, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: When David Played The Fool!

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 19, 2024

Introduction: David was known for many things: Saul’s minstrel, the champion against Goliath, and a man after God’s own Heart, among others. But there was an unintentionally humorous incident that didn’t put David in a very good light! Text: 1 Samuel 21:10-15, KJV: 10 And David arose, and fled ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 21:10-15

Tags: David, Gath, Achish

Denomination: Baptist

One Of My Favorite Columns By Erma Bombeck Tells ...  PRO

Contributed by Melvin Newland on Apr 22, 2001

One of my favorite columns by Erma Bombeck tells of God in the act of creating mothers. She says that on the day God created mothers He had already worked long overtime. And an angel said to Him, "Lord, you sure are spending a lot of time on this one." The Lord turned & said, "Have you read ...read more

Scripture: 2 Samuel 21:8-14

Tags: Communication General, Commitment, Hypocrite, Pride, Sacrifice  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

At About 3:20 A.m. On March 13, 1964, Kitty ...  PRO

Contributed by Mary Lewis on May 10, 2001

At about 3:20 a.m. on March 13, 1964, Kitty Genovese, a 28-year-old manager of a bar in Queens, New York, returned to her quiet residential neighborhood, parked her car in a lot adjacent to her apartment building, and began to walk the 30 yards through the lot to her door. Noticing a man at the ...read more

Tags: Christian Love, Forgiveness General

Denomination: Baptist

A Healing Fool  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Feb 14, 2002

A HEALING FOOL The Gospels depict Jesus as having spent a surprising amount of time healing people… It is significant also that the Greek verb "sozo" was used in Jesus’ day to mean both to save and to heal, and "soter" could signify either savior or physician. Ever since the time of Jesus, ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:29-39

Tags: Miracles Of Jesus, Prayer Answered, Gifts Healing

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Erma Bombeck Wrote This Essay Entitled, When God ...  PRO

Contributed by Aaron Burgess on Sep 26, 2002

Erma Bombeck wrote this essay entitled, When God Created Women. “By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She ...read more

Tags: Mother's Day, Parenting, Love, Share

Denomination: Independent/Bible