Contributed by Scott Jensen on Oct 8, 2008
A Baptist congregation installed a new full immersion baptistery in the sanctuary as part of an extensive remodeling project. But the county building inspector wouldn’t okay its’ installation. “I can’t,” he said, “unless it has a separate septic tank.”
The trusties couldn’t understand why a
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Lutheran
Contributed by C Jordan on Nov 20, 2008
"The best food for you is the Word of God itself. Sermons and books are well enough, but streams that run for a long distance above ground gradually gather for themselves somewhat of the soil through which they flow, and they lose the cool freshness with which they started from the spring head.
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*other
Contributed by Gaither Bailey on Dec 15, 2009
DIRECTION SIGNS
In my time with the children a few weeks ago I spoke with them about road signs. As I prepared this message, I thought about how we have become a nation of signs: Some of them are helpful and some are not. Some signs cause us to pause and ask, “What were they thinking?”
Some
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by C Jordan on Jan 23, 2010
The Richest Place in the World
"The richest spot on the face of the earth cannot be found in the diamond mines of South Africa...It is not in the oil fields of Saudi Arabia. No, the richest plot of land on this planet is in your very own neighbourhood...It’s the cemetery...The graveyard is the
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*other
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 15, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 4,968 views
COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
A woman went to court and told the judge she wanted a divorce. "Do you have any grounds?" the judge asked.
"Just two acres," she replied.
"That's not it, lady. I mean, do you have a grudge?"
"No, we park the car in the front of the house."
Frustrated, the judge
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Presbyterian/Reformed
based on 1 rating
| 980 views
In December 1903, after many attempts, the Wright brothers were successful in getting their "flying machine" off the ground. Thrilled, they telegraphed this message to their sister Katherine: "We have actually flown 120 feet. Will be home for Christmas."
Katherine hurried to
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Rick Davis on Jun 11, 2003
based on 15 ratings
| 11,759 views
MARRIAGE JOKES
1. Marriage made in Heaven — So is thunder in lightening!!
2. Love is a dream — Marriage is an alarm clock
3. A honeymoon is a Short Pause - between - I Do and You Better
4. Lady went to get a divorce—
Lawyer: “Do you have ground?”
Lady: “About 2 acres”
Lawyer: “Do
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Baptist
Contributed by Jason Cole on Feb 23, 2004
based on 10 ratings
| 3,169 views
There was a little boy who was caught in a fire at home. He could not get out of the burning house. He climbed up out onto the roof of the burning home, and began to cry for his father’s help. The father looked up at his son from the ground, and told him to jump. “I can’t see you though daddy,
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Mar 16, 2004
The gospel writers simply wrote "They crucified Jesus". Who crucified him? I’ll tell you who crucified him. I did - and you did, and they did, those groups around the cross. The old Negro spiritual asked the question, "Were you there when they crucified my Lord?" “They” crucified the Lord? It
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Baptist
<ILLUS> While I don’t own a television myself, I remember being in a doctors office once, and a football game was on. One guy ran the ball and was tackled – the ball came loose on the 5 yard-line. A guy for the Jets scooped it up and ran like crazy, 95 yards for the touchdown. He was going crazy
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Holiness
based on 1 rating
| 3,432 views
By the way, the subject of rest reminds me about this story I heard about a father who was playing cops and robbers with his 3 active sons in the back yard after dinner.
One of the boys "shot" his dad and yelled, "Bang! You’re dead!"
The dad fell dramatically to the ground. But then, he just lay
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bruce Willis on Nov 29, 2006
based on 3 ratings
| 2,005 views
I was riding one of our Shetland ponies, Trigger or Sugarfoot. They were prone to buck you off from time to time and one of those occasions occurred. Well, as I hit the ground I heard someone call my name, “Bruce.” I rolled over to see who it was and no one did I see. However, when I looked
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Baptist
Contributed by Richard Francis on Mar 29, 2008
The biggest hand dug well can be found in Greensburg Kansas, dug in 1880’s it took a massive effort and was over 109 feet deep and 32 feet in diameter, all of the walls were covered in stone paving and to prevent cave ins every 8 feet a brace was constructed out of 2 foot by 12 foot planks mortised
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 24, 2010
"I CAN SEE YOU."
One night a house caught fire and a young boy was forced to flee to the roof. The father stood on the ground below with outstretched arms, calling to his son, "Jump! I'll catch you." He knew the boy had to jump to save his life.
All the boy could see, however, was flame, smoke,
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Brethren
Contributed by Brad Henry on Sep 20, 2011
based on 1 rating
| 2,606 views
BEHIND THE SCENES
No wonder we are frustrated with the plans we see. We see injustice, but we don’t see behind the scenes. At Disney World there is a whole city underneath the Magic Kingdom. People are changing clothes, making outfits, and doing all the work to make everything above ground go
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,642 views
I’ve never lifted a barn, but Herman Ostry, a farmer in Bruno, Nebraska has. Shortly after buying a piece of land and a barn, a nearby creek rose, and the barn was under twenty nine inches of water. He half-jokingly said to his family, ‘I bet if we had enough people, we could pick up that barn and
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Sermon Central