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In Sermon Illustrations: "Things"

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  • A Woman Decided To Have Her Portrait Painted. She ...  PRO

    Contributed by Thomas Black on Jan 28, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 14,222 views

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It’s in case I should die before my husband. ...read more

  • A Leader ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 1, 2010
     | 2,155 views

    A Leader Is… Peter Drucker, perhaps the most noted authority on leadership in the 20th century, says: A leader is one who has followers. An effective leader is not someone who is loved or admired. He is someone whose followers do the right thing. Popularity is not leadership, results are. Leaders ...read more

  • There Was A Minister Out Taking A Walk On A ...

    Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
     | 3,204 views

    There was a minister out taking a walk on a beautiful street. He noticed a small boy attempting to ring the doorbell on the porch of a house. The boy was short and the doorbell was higher than usual. The boy could not quite reach it. The minister stepped up to the porch beside the boy and reached ...read more

  • Deacons And Lights

    Contributed by Larry Wilson on Oct 7, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,453 views

    DEACONS AND LIGHTS In our church, we have someone that does the maintenance and replaces light bulbs and things like that. They do not want their pastor to do this for two good reasons: 1) I know very little about maintenance, and my church knows that I know very little. 2) They don't want the ...read more

  • Truth

    Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Jan 10, 2012
     | 7,381 views

    TRUTH One of the most telling examples is our view of truth. In the 1960s, 65 percent of Americans said they believed the Bible is true; today that figure has dropped to 32 percent. Even more dramatically, today 67 percent of all Americans deny that there's any such thing as truth. Seventy percent ...read more

  • When He Was The Pastor Of The Methodist Church ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,816 views

    When he was the pastor of the Methodist church in Scarborough, William Sangster had an eccentric member who tried to be a zealous Christian. Unfortunately, the man was mentally deficient and usually did the wrong thing. While working as a barber the man lathered up a customer for a shave, came at ...read more

  • Which Reminds Me Of A Story About A Missionary ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,207 views

    Which reminds me of a story about a missionary who was watching a group of natives who were killing hogs. The natives were cuting off the hogs’ tails and throwing them in a pile. The missionary asked one of the natives why they were doing this, he replied, “The meat is for us, the tails are for our ...read more

  • Women's Revenge  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 15, 2007
    based on 6 ratings
     | 5,028 views

    WOMEN’S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused ...read more

  • All Of Us Are Probably Familiar With America's ...

    Contributed by D. Greg Ebie on Sep 20, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,501 views

    All of us are probably familiar with America’s favorite five year old, “Dennis the Menace.” You can learn a lot about yourself from watching kids, and Dennis is no exception. On one particular day Dennis is found looking at the new department store catalog that had just arrived at the Mitchell ...read more

  • A Man Told His Doctor That He Wasn't Able To Do ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Oct 1, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,165 views

    A man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the exam was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor said, "you’re ...read more

  • A Missionary Came To Church On Sunday. He Was In ...

    Contributed by Don Jones on Oct 23, 2007
     | 1,310 views

    A missionary came to church on Sunday. He was in Africa for several years. The question was asked, "What was your most harrowing time?" His answer was, "During the summer". We were all surprised. We3 thought he would say natives, wars, snakes or some other terrible thing but summer? He ...read more

  • Rev Sandy Millar, The Former Rector Of Holy ...

    Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Dec 2, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,456 views

    Rev Sandy Millar, the former Rector of Holy Trinity, Brompton, London, tells of how he visited a young woman in Holloway Prison. There was only one card pinned up in her cell. He noticed the words: ‘Happy Birthday’ was the printed message and underneath was written, ‘We wish things could have ...read more

  • C.s Lewis Writes; "Our Fiath Is Not A Matter Of ...

    Contributed by Clarence Eisberg on Dec 5, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,595 views

    C.S Lewis writes; "our fiath is not a matter of our hearing what Jessus said long ago and "trying to carry it out." Rather the real Son of god is at your side. He begins to turn you into the same kind of thing as himself....He is beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you ...read more

  • During A Conversation With A Trapeze Artist The ...

    Contributed by Chad Bolfa on Aug 5, 2008
     | 2,443 views

    During a conversation with a trapeze artist the performer admitted the net underneath was there to keep them from breaking their necks, but added, "The net also keeps us from falling. Imagine there is no net. We would be so nervous that we would be more likely to miss and fall. If there wasn’t a ...read more

  • Margaret Mead, The Noted Anthropologist, Has Said ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 11, 2008
     | 1,546 views

    Margaret Mead, the noted anthropologist, has said a lot of controversial things, but you will find no authorities debating her statement in her article Grandparents and Educators. In it she said, "Somehow we have to get the older people, grandparents, widows and widowers, spinsters and bachelors, ...read more

  • The Famous Young Man Who Died In A Car Crash A ...

    Contributed by Vonnie E James on Oct 13, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,593 views

    The famous young man who died in a car crash a week or so ago was nicknamed "Kaution". He drank of the fountain of idolatry –for it is said that he washed his car three times a day and treated it like God. Noticed both he and the thing he worshiped were destroyed. This morning God is reminding ...read more

  • In The Worst Of Times, God Has A People And He ...

    Contributed by Charles Wallis on Oct 28, 2008
     | 1,587 views

    In the worst of times, God has a people and He does incredible things. In 1974, the Arab oil embargo caused many people to wait in line for gas. Watergate shook the United States. Times were not good. Country singer Merle Haggard sang a song “If we make it through December.” The same year, ...read more

  • When Dawn And I Were In Kenya, It Was An ...

    Contributed by Timothy Darling on Jan 21, 2009
     | 1,621 views

    When Dawn and I were in Kenya, it was an interesting thing. For about 2 hours every day, the local deep well near an oasis would be pumped into cisterns all around the area. It was often difficult to get the local people to allow the cisterns to fill before they turned on hoses to water the trees. ...read more

  • One Of My Christmas Presents Was A Book: ‘a ...  PRO

    Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Jan 5, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,754 views

    One of my Christmas presents was a book: ‘A Bundle of Laughs’ by J. John & Mark Stibbe. Towards the end of the book comes their light-hearted ‘20 Rules of Wisdom’. Don’t worry; I’m only going to read four! 1.God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts! 2.Growing old is inevitable, growing up ...read more

  • Not So Sure

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 15, 2009
     | 2,569 views

    NOT SO SURE The famous preacher and founder of the Methodist church, John Wesley, once said, "When I was young, I was sure of everything. But after a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before. And at present, I am hardly sure of ...read more