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In Sermon Illustrations: "Take Off"

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  • Super Stupid Easter Jokes  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 8,841 views

    SUPER STUPID EASTER JOKES Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?" Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy." Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won’t give you a bruise." 7 Boy 2: "It will if it’s your big brother’s candy!" Q: What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed ...read more

  • It Reminds Me Of The True Story Of A 37 Year-Old ...

    Contributed by David Flowers on May 17, 2005
     | 2,941 views

    It reminds me of the true story of a 37 year-old man in the Soviet Union who astonished friends and neighbors one day. He had been thought dead for eighteen years, when one day he emerged from under a pile of goat poop shrieking, “I want to work! I want to live!” His neighbors were astonished ...read more

  • One Such Story Happened In 1968. A Whole Village ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ian Johnson on Aug 11, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,262 views

    One such story happened in 1968. A whole village in South Vietnam experienced a miracle of Divine intervention and protection. Under cover of darkness a Viet Cong soldier, one of a battalion of over one thousand in the area came to the village and warned, “Tomorrow is your day. So if you need to ...read more

  • David Glass Was The Ceo Of The Wal-Mart From ...  PRO

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Oct 24, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,291 views

    David Glass was the CEO of the Wal-Mart from 1988 – 2000. Back in 1962, he heard that a guy named Sam Walton was about to hold the grand opening for his second store in Harrison, Arkansas. Glass, who was running a successful drug-store chain in Missouri, decided to attend Sam Walton’s grand ...read more

  • On May 30, 1896, Motorist Henry Wells Hit ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,961 views

    On May 30, 1896, motorist Henry Wells hit bicyclist Evylyn Thomas on a New York City street. It was America’s first auto accident. Thomas’s injury: a broken leg; car that Wells was driving: a Duryea motor wagon; Well’s penalty: a night in jail; The first automobile fatality: Henry H. Bliss (Sept. ...read more

  • Babe Ruth Had Hit 714 Home Runs During His ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,117 views

    Babe Ruth had hit 714 home runs during his baseball career and was playing one of his last full major league games. It was the Braves versus the Reds in Cincinnati. But the great Ruth was no longer as agile as he had once been. He fumbled the ball and threw badly, and in one inning alone his errors ...read more

  • Sitting On The Side Of The Highway Waiting To ...

    Contributed by Dr. Wheeler Jones on Jun 11, 2006
     | 5,012 views

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there ...read more

  • A Pastor Thought God Gave Him An Idea, And He ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 25, 2006
    based on 24 ratings
     | 6,012 views

    A pastor thought God gave Him an idea, and he presented it in the monthly elders meeting. After giving his most impassioned plea and really “selling” the idea to the elder board, the board voted and voted down the pastors proposed changes 12-1. The head elder looked at the pastor and said, “Well ...read more

  • Jesus Talks About Letting His Words Remain In Us. ...

    Contributed by Rev. Matthew Parker on Sep 24, 2006
     | 1,462 views

    Jesus talks about letting his words remain in us. What does that mean? On occasion I’ve had opportunities to go elsewhere, away from the mission, to churches that were bigger and where there seemed to be more to gain. But whenever those opportunities come up, my dad’s voice has always gone off in ...read more

  • George Barna Notes, "In The 1970's "Seeker ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Oct 10, 2006
     | 2,153 views

    1. George Barna notes, “In the 1970’s “seeker churches’ made a strong theoretical argument for the importance of encouraging people to feel no obligation to toe a Bible to church. Their goal was to make visitors feel welcome and comfortable by alleviating the need to locate a Bible, by diminishing ...read more

  • Collin Thacher Killed His Wife. She Had The ...

    Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Dec 28, 2006
     | 1,506 views

    Collin Thacher killed his wife. She had the nerve to leave him and he was a man who’s father was the primure of Sask. Collin was addicted to power. So he had her killed. Then he got Jesus because he thought that jesus would get him out of prison after all didn’t Jesus open the prisons for ...read more

  • Shackleton Found Them Ready  PRO

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Mar 4, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,551 views

    Shackleton Found Them Ready While on one of his expeditions to the Antarctic, Sir Ernest Shackleton was once compelled to leave some of his men on Elephant Island, with the intention of returning for them and carrying them back to England. But he was unavoidably delayed, and by the time he could go ...read more

  • P ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Mar 23, 2009
     | 1,311 views

    Powerless! Dr. Joe McGee sent the following story that might make you watch for the floor sweeper the next time you are in the hospital! “In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at about 11:00 AM. Regardless of their medical condition, death ...read more

  • The Battle Is Not To The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
     | 6,891 views

    THE BATTLE IS NOT TO THE STRONG A few centuries before Christ, Alexander the Great conquered almost all of the known world with his military strength, cleverness, and diplomacy. One day, Alexander and a small company of soldiers approached a strongly defended, walled city. Alexander, standing ...read more

  • What He Heard His Wife Say,

    Contributed by Tim Harlow on May 13, 2009
     | 1,937 views

    WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age." WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear." WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes." WHAT SHE ...read more

  • Honor Your Mother And Father

    Contributed by Jim Blevins on May 15, 2009
     | 3,985 views

    HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER One Mother's Day I was preaching in another state and during the Sunday School class I told about one of the two times that I sassed my mother. Now my mom is about 4 foot 11 inches tall and I was approaching 6 feet so I towered over her. She had told me to do something ...read more

  • Ignoring The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 25, 2009
     | 4,972 views

    IGNORING THE WARNINGS On Sep. 28, 1986 heavy rains flooded many low-lying areas of the Midwest. Two years before, there was a flood that many remember as the "Memorial Day Massacre" that claimed the lives of twenty people in Tulsa, Oklahoma, as small creeks and drainage ditches became killer ...read more

  • Frog Prince

    Contributed by Bradley Kellum on Aug 10, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,843 views

    FROG PRINCE An 80 year-old woman was walking down the main street in her hometown one evening when she heard a low voice say, "Hey lady." She looked around to see who was talking but upon seeing nobody there she shrugged it all off and continued walking. Before she got another five feet, she ...read more

  • In The Broadway Musical,

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Aug 31, 2009
     | 2,702 views

    In the Broadway musical, “Guys and Dolls,” there is a line where Sky Masterton (the Marlon Brando role in the film version) shares some advice that his father gave him. Sky is a gambler and the entire play revolves around a certain bet that he makes which pays off in a way he isn’t expecting. But I ...read more

  • The Cost Of ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 16, 2009
     | 7,818 views

    The Cost of Salvation Several years ago, there was 14 year-old girl (Laura Montero) whose appendix burst while she and her family vacationed on a cruise ship off the Baja Coast. The ship was hundreds of miles from help, and the crew sent out a distress call looking for the nearest surgical ...read more