In Sermon Illustrations: "Quotes"

My Past, Present And Future

Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Jul 21, 2024

Harry A Ironside the great Bible teacher was riding on a train in Southern California one Saturday when a gypsy got on and sat beside him. "How do you do, gentleman," she said. "You like to have your fortune told? Cross my palm with a silver quarter, and I will give you your past, ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:9-11, Ephesians 2:1-10

Tags: Present, Future, Past, Fortunes

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Charles Blondin

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 21, 2025

Story: In the late 19th century (1859), Charles Blondin (born Jean François Gravelet, 28 February 1824 – 22 February 1897)a famous tightrope walker had a tightrope placed across the Niagara Falls in the USA. He then proceeded to walk across it with a wheelbarrow in front of him. Having ...read more

Scripture: Luke 13:22-30

Tags: Wheelbarrow, Blondin, Niagara Falls

Denomination: Anglican

When You Don't Have To Pray....

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Aug 12, 2019

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother' s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Prayer, Grandma, Grace At Meals

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Courageous Husband?

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 22, 2025

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-33

Tags: Marriage, Compassion, Courage, Hurry, Double Standard  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Jesus Is Watching You!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Aug 18, 2020

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you". He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:1-12

Tags: Honesty, Jokes, Omnipresence Of God, Jesus Is Watching

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Anti-Semitism Meets Its Match

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 1, 2024

It was a sweltering August day when all three Cohen brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker, "Mr. Ford," announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three. "We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry." ...read more

Scripture: Leviticus 23:4-8, 1 Corinthians 5:7, Romans 11:11-32

Tags: Israel, Hatred, Anti Semitism, Israel's Future

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Children's Faith

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025

"Children’s Letters to God" series, actual authentic letters written by kids to God: "Dear God, I read the Bible. What does ’begat’ mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison." "Dear God, did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?" - ...read more

Scripture: Mark 11:1-11, Matthew 18:3

Tags: Childlike Faith, Questions

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Our Professor Has No Brain!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

A college student was in a philosophy class, which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic: "Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke. "Has anyone in ...read more

Tags: Science, God, Atheists, Bible, Genesis, Evolution, Apologetics  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Adam & Eve's First Argument

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to ...read more

Tags: Marriage, Adam, Suspicious, Jokes, Arguments, Eve  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jewish Roots Of Discipleship

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025

From just before the time of Christ (when Jesus was a child, Hillel was still alive). "He [Hillel] would stand at the gate of Jerusalem and meet people going to work. He questioned them, "How much will you make at work today?" One person would answer, "A denarius." Another ...read more

Scripture: Mark 10:17-31, Luke 9:62, Matthew 19:16-22, Mark 1:16

Tags: Discipleship, Jewish, Disciples, Leaving All

Denomination: Independent/Bible

8 Lies Addicted Gamblers Tell Themselves

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 15, 2019

8 Lies Addictive Gamblers Tell Themselves 1. "One more trip to gamble won't hurt anything." 2. "I need to go gamble to see my friends." 3. "I'm a loser, so who cares if I gamble." 4. "I deserve to gamble, because I have had a hard week." 5. ...read more

Scripture: 2 Thessalonians 3:12

Tags: Excuses, Gambling, Work

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Touch Of The Master's Hand

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021

The Touch of the Masters Hand Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin, but held it up with a smile; "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried, "Who'll start the bidding for me?" "A dollar, a ...read more

Scripture: Revelation 1:16-17

Tags: Salvation, New Creation In Christ, The Master, Anointing Of The Spirit

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Good Samaritan Is A Portrait Of Jesus

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 2, 2022

The Good Samaritan bears the features of the Lord Jesus Christ who comes to seek and save the lost. (1). "He came where he was." Christ comes to us right where we are. In our stripped and wounded condition we could do nothing for ourselves (Ro 5:6). (2). "He had compassion on ...read more

Tags: Neighbor, Kindness, Good Deeds, Good Samaritan, Types Of Christ, Ministry  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Just A Second!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 5, 2023

A young man once asked God how long a million years was to Him. God replied, "A million years to me is just like a single second to you." The young man asked, "Then what is a million dollars like to you?" God replied, "A million dollars to me is just like a single penny ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:9-10

Tags: Eternity, Heaven, Time Management, Time, Clocks  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

It May Get Worse After You Leave!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church doors for the last time. He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out. She said, "Your successor won't be as good as you." "Nonsense", said the pastor, in a flattered tone. ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:1-4

Tags: Pastors, Church Members, Boring, Sermons, Preachers, Church, Preaching, Word Of God  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Golf As Alternative To Church?

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 22, 2025

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. "I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:25-27

Tags: Faithfulness, Excuses, Golf, Church Attendance

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Christian In Name Only

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 2, 2022

As a result of poor planning, a man needed some same-day dry cleaning before he left on a trip. He remembered one store with a huge sign, "One-Hour Dry Cleaners," on the other side of town, so he drove out of his way to drop off a suit. After filling out the tag, he told the clerk, ...read more

Tags: Deceived, Eternity, Truth, False Teachers, Lost, Unsaved  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why Do So Few Christians Share Their Faith?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 4, 2022

What makes people hesitate to share their faith? Here are some of the fears that have been mentioned to me: "I am afraid I might do more harm than good." "I don't know what to say." "I may not be able to give snappy answers to tricky questions." "I may ...read more

Tags: Great Commission, Fear Of Man, Great Supper, Man Pleasing, Evangelism, Fear, Gospel, Parables, Excuses, Witnessing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Tithe Belongs To God!

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 13, 2022

You don’t give the tithe, you return it back to God. It belongs to Him! There is a cartoon that shows four frames! 1. In the first frame a man looks at a new car! The salesman says, "10% down and low, low payments for 48 months." The man asks, "Where do I sign?" 2. In the ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 16:1-2

Tags: Giving, Tithing

Paul's Persuasion

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 12, 2023

A pastor asked a dying man, "My friend, what persuasion are you?" The man replied, "I am of Paul’s persuasion." The pastor said, "I am afraid you didn’t understand me. Of what persuasion are you?" The man answered, "Oh, I understood you. I am of Paul’s ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:1-9, Romans 8:28-39, 1 John 5:1-13

Tags: Assurance, Pastors, Denominations, Faith, Death, Heaven, Salvation, Hope  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational