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In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Jokes"

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  • Charlie Peace, A Criminal In England, On The Day ...

    Contributed by Tony Abram on Dec 25, 2007
     | 3,232 views

    Charlie Peace, a criminal in England, on the day he was being taken to his execution, listened to a minister reading from the Word. And when he found out he was reading about heaven and hell, he looked at the preacher and said, "Sir, if I believed what you and the church of God say, and even if ...read more

  • When It Came To Fishing, Simon, Son Of Jonah, ...

    Contributed by Stephen Evoy on Jan 4, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,808 views

    When it came to fishing, Simon, son of Jonah, appears to have been an angler of dubious ability. There is no record that he ever caught a fish without divine intervention. Most likely, the accounts of those miraculous catches were included in the gospels to assure readers that there was a similar ...read more

  • But, When I Was Preparing My Studies Of This ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 3, 2008
     | 1,122 views

    But, when I was preparing my studies of this story, I came across a saying of one of the older preachers, who observed that, although little could be said for this blind man, there was this one thing: he was at least in a place where Jesus was likely to go. He was by the gate leading into the ...read more

  • A Small Boy Was Talking With His Mother And Said, ...

    Contributed by Richard Roberts on Aug 4, 2008
     | 2,058 views

    A small boy was talking with his mother and said, "How old do I have to be to stay up late on a school night?" His mother replied, "About eighteen." "Oh good!" the boy said. "I'm old enough now!" "How do you figure that? Mom said. "Last time I checked, you were only eleven." "Well," the boy ...read more

  • Spiritual Perfection

    Contributed by Ferdinand Funk on Sep 29, 2008
     | 4,967 views

    Spiritual Perfection A man once came up to C. H. Spurgeon, the great English preacher, at a Christian retreat, and said that he had reached a state of spiritual perfection. Without a word Spurgeon picked up a pitcher of ice-cold water and poured it on the man's head. When the man became angry ...read more

  • Army Of The Lord

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 12, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,940 views

    ARMY OF THE LORD A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm ...read more

  • Are You In The Secret Service?

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 2, 2023
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,190 views

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army ...read more

  • A Faithful Christian Man Was Dying. His Wife And ...  PRO

    Contributed by Fred Sigle on Feb 13, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,613 views

    A faithful Christian man was DYING. His wife and son and daughter, who were all devout Christians, came to his bedside. He HUGGED them and said, “Good night, I’ll MEET you in a BETTER PLACE.” He had another son, however, who never OBEYED the GOSPEL. He was a GOOD BOY, but he just never saw the ...read more

  • The Holy Spirit In The Movies—the Apostle

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 7, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,834 views

    THE HOLY SPIRIT IN THE MOVIES--THE APOSTLE In 1983 Robert Duvall wanted to make The Apostle because he felt that the motion picture industry had mostly ignored the work of the Holy Spirit. According to Duvall, filmmakers hardly ever made a movie that would actually show the truth about the Holy ...read more

  • There Is A Story About A Pastor Who Was Building ...  PRO

    Contributed by Dan Erickson on Nov 21, 2000
    based on 160 ratings
     | 3,577 views

    There is a story about a pastor who was building a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he pounded away, he saw that a little boy was watching him. The youngster didn’t say a word, so the pastor kept on working, thinking the lad would just leave. But he didn’t. Finally the pastor asked, ...read more

  • It Is Natural To Mourn. A Minister Once Told Me ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 1, 2004
     | 2,730 views

    It is natural to mourn. A minister once told me about a young woman in his church who asked him to talk to her grandfather. “He’s been so down and irritable lately,” she said. The preacher said, “Is there anything that you can point to that would contribute to his emotional condition?” “Well, ...read more

  • Dr. C. I. Scofield, The Eminent Bible Teacher, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Wood on Jun 23, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,033 views

    Dr. C. I. Scofield, the eminent Bible teacher, once attended a Bible Conference in New York City. The chairman called on another minister to pray. His prayer went something like this: “Oh, thou great and terrible God. great is thy majesty. A great distance separates us from Thee. Poor lost sinners ...read more

  • The Story Is Told Of A Little Boy Who Was Scared ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,838 views

    The story is told of a little boy who was scared to go to church one Sunday. He cried and cried and his mother couldn’t find out what was wrong with him. He loved to go to Sunday school and church. She kept questioning him and finally he blurted out, “I’m afraid of the zeal.” “What zeal?” she ...read more

  • Has It Come To That?

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,142 views

    Preacher Vance Havner once told a story about an elderly lady who was greatly disturbed by her many troubles--both real and imaginary. Finally, someone in her family tactfully told her, "Grandma, we’ve done all we can for you. You’ll just have to trust God for the rest." A look of absolute despair ...read more

  • Van Gogh Was Born March 30, 1853, In ...

    Contributed by Noel Atkinson on Feb 25, 2008
     | 1,287 views

    Van Gogh was born March 30, 1853, in Groot-Zundert, son of a Dutch Protestant pastor. Early in life he displayed a moody, restless temperament that was to thwart his every pursuit. By the age of 27 he had been, in turn, a salesman in an art gallery, a French tutor, a theological student, and an ...read more

  • Always Had An Uplifting ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Oct 14, 2008
     | 1,318 views

    Always Had an Uplifting Prayer Scottish minister Alexander Whyte was known for his uplifting prayers in the pulpit. He always found something for which to be grateful. One Sunday morning the weather was so gloomy that one church member thought to himself, “Certainly the preacher won’t think of ...read more

  • Gem Collection

    Contributed by Roger Miller on Apr 27, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,744 views

    GEM COLLECTION Len Sweet, a Methodist preacher, tells how he complimented a woman in Rustin, Louisiana on her jewelry. She smiled and said, "Thank you. I collect gems." I agreed and said, "It shows." "No," she insisted. "I don't collect those gems. I collect real 'gems.' I have a gem of a ...read more

  • A Letter For Joe

    Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Jun 8, 2010
     | 2,766 views

    A LETTER FOR JOE Joseph Parker was a popular preacher in London, England in the late 1800's. He was the pastor of the large City Temple. One Sunday as he was going to the pulpit a woman in the balcony tossed a piece of paper on the platform before him. He picked it up and read it. It contained ...read more

  • Brethren, If We Will Do God’s Work In ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 7, 2010
     | 3,124 views

    Brethren, if we will do God’s work in God’s way at God’s time with God’s power, we shall have God’s blessing and the devil’s curses. When God opens the windows of heaven to bless us, the devil will open the door of hell to blast us. God’s smile means the devil’s frown! Mere preachers may help ...read more

  • A New Man After That Sermon

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Nov 16, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,752 views

    A NEW MAN AFTER THAT SERMON The minister’s sermon on this particular Sunday was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and inspiring that he just knew it would be a big hit with the congregation. At the end of the service he stood shaking hands with the people as they ...read more