I present a cordless drill and explain that it represents salvation. I then start drilling a board by turning the drill by hand round and round without turning on the drill. After doing this for a couple of minutes I ask the audience if I’m doing something wrong. They all shout “turn on the drill!”
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Feb 27, 2001
based on 91 ratings
| 2,261 views
Doctors of old times tested the sanity of a mental patients with the following test:
The patient was placed in a room with a sink. The faucet was turned on and a stopper was put in the drain until the sink overflowed. The patient was then handed a mop and the door was closed.
If the patient
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Paul Humphrey on Jan 3, 2006
based on 31 ratings
| 2,200 views
A man once told his wife that he never wanted to live in a vegetative state dependant upon a machine. He said, “If I ever get in that shape, I want you to pull the plug.”
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Denomination:
United Methodist
Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on May 23, 2005
Our custodians are working wonders! They are task-oriented with multiple jobs to do and are determined to finish them before the day is out. I remember seeing the expression on a custodian’s face one day when she turned on her Harley (vacuum cleaner) and couldn’t get it to work. She checked the
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Denomination:
Salvation Army
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 16, 2009
Marylu and I often take a walk in the evening; a few years ago, she bought me this massive, bright, rechargeable flashlight; everyday, after our walk, I plug it in to the charger; if I fail to recharge it,
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Blake Inscore on Sep 26, 2008
Mark Twain was asked his opinion on the raising of children. With his typical wit Twain offered this homey philosophy: “Things run along pretty smoothly until your kid reaches thirteen. That’s the time you need to stick ‘em in a barrel, hammer the lid down nice and snug, and
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Denomination:
Baptist
I thought for days that my new electric shaver had gone unserviceable. Then at the weekend my wife was cleaning the washroom and discovered I had mistakenly plugged the charger and not the shaver. Unplugged, the electrical appliance has no power and therefore a connection to a power source is not
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Jeff Strite on May 5, 2013
based on 3 ratings
| 9,725 views
POWER AND DISCIPLINE
Over here is a wall socket. There is power in that socket.
Because of that power, I can plug lamps, fans, microwaves and phone chargers into it and magically empower those devises. I can even plug a car charger into a wall socket and revive a dead car battery (like I’ve had to
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Nov 9, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 5,256 views
Mark Twain advised that when a child reaches 13 years of age, a parent should place the child in a BARREL, NAIL the LID shut, and FEED the teenager through a KNOT HOLE. And when the child turns 16 years-old . . . PLUG the HOLE!
Of course, Mark Twain was also the one who
wrote, “When I was 18
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 31, 2007
based on 4 ratings
| 1,427 views
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
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