Contributed by Ken Henson on Jun 25, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 6,167 views
IF GOD CAN'T DO IT, IT CAN'T BE DONE
"What we need to do is learn that only persistence in prayer can gain the victory. You see the truth is if God can’t do it, it cannot be done. We need to learn to close the blinds, shut the door, turn off the phone, stop
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*other
Contributed by Dru Ashwell on Dec 16, 2001
based on 19 ratings
| 2,381 views
Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the
world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.
~~~~~
Hi. Now you say something.
~~~~~
Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
~~~~~
Hello. I am David’s
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 18, 2007
Marketing Myth There is the long-held belief that older TV viewers (ages 40 to 50) rarely change brand loyalty. Age Wave research company says boomers are, in fact, more open to new things such as new cell phone technology, Internet shopping, and other products. Marketers shouldn’t fall into the
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Contributed by Jonathan Busch on Apr 13, 2003
based on 4 ratings
| 2,485 views
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Steve Lotze on Sep 27, 2008
How many of you go straight to joy when you’re in a trial?
Kind of wonder about people like that – tend more like chippie…
Anyone here own a parakeet? – cleaning is hassle – Chippies owner vacuuming feathers off floor – brilliant idea! – vacuum bottom of cage… don’t try this at home kids…
The
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 8, 2020
The right word can make a difference. Sometimes the right word needs to be invented.
2. Here are some suggested new words:
CARPETUATION (kar pet' u a shun)n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Jeff Simms on Jun 23, 2003
based on 2 ratings
| 1,576 views
Consider what would happen in some cases if we settled for 99% correct:
We would have no phone service for 15 minutes each day
1.7 million pieces of first class mail would be lost each day.
35.000 newborn babies dropped by doctors and nurses each year.
200,000 people would
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Baptist
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Nov 16, 2009
60 FOR 60
I have a suggestion: Try 60 for 60. Say that with me, "60 for 60." For sixty days, set your watch or whatever device to softly chime at the top of the hour, and let that be a reminder to say a quick prayer. It might even give you the chance to tell others what you are doing. Every sixty
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Church Of God
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
A man in Phoenix called his son in New York on Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough – I cannot take it any more!” The startled son replies, “Pop what are you talking about, you and mom are so in
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Contributed by Timothy Smith on Sep 23, 2007
Bob Russell, a preacher in Kentucky, tells of calling Baptist East Hospital late one night to check on one of his elderly members. The operator transferred him to a nurse who answered, "Pediatrics." Bob said, "Pediatrics? I’m checking on a lady that’s 87 years old! I’ve got the wrong floor." Bob
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Christian Church
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Nov 16, 2009
based on 1 rating
| 3,361 views
Sam wasn’t emotionally mature and was considered pretty insensitive. He just did not want to or could not pick up on what people were expressing. Sure he went to church every Sunday morning and evening. He was an usher every week. But he was stunted spiritually. He often understood what the
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Church Of God
Contributed by Steve Ely on Oct 1, 2008
The Yugo and the Rolls-Royce
A man was driving his Yugo when he pulled up next to a Rolls-Royce at a stoplight. The driver of the Yugo rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, that’s a nice car. Do you have a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!" The driver
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Pentecostal
based on 9 ratings
| 2,708 views
In the 1950¡¦s comedy classic ¡§I Love Lucy,¡¨ one episode dealt with Lucy¡¦s lack of cooking skills. She had no clue how much yeast to use. She kept dumping it in¡Kone box, two, three. She left the bread in the refrigerator for a while as she talked on the phone. When she returned the kitchen
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United Methodist
Sermon Central