In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes"

How To Get Kicked Out Of Church On Christmas Eve  PRO

Contributed by Peter Loughman on Dec 15, 2008

HOW TO GET KICKED OUT OF CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS EVE Christmas Eve 1990. I came this close to being physically thrown out of church. We were new to town and we heard that a certain church in town had a fantastic Christmas Eve service. So, we went with some friends, about ten of us total, to this ...read more

Tags: Christmas, Advent, Christmas Eve, Hymn, Hymnal, Hard To Believe, Way, Choir, New Jersey, Shut Up, Kicked Out, Go Away, Eject, Sing, Quiet, Song, Silent Night, Usher, Funny  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Predestination Talks

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 12, 2009

THE PREDESTINATION TALKS Ligon Duncan, pastor of the First Presbyterian Church in Jackson, MS, tells the following story: I well remember as a fifteen year-old boy at my grandparents’ house, reading through Ephesians 1 with grandmother and granddad and my aunt and the family for our morning ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 1:3-14

Tags: God's Sovereign Will

Losing Someone Or Something Is Very Heartbreaking

Contributed by Jm Raja Lawrence on Oct 17, 2023

In the midst of an unforgiving tempest, a cataclysmic convergence of nature's wrath struck with an unforgiving fury. Banda Aceh, Indonesia, and the remote Andaman and Nicobar Islands found themselves entangled in the merciless grip of a relentless tsunami. At that fateful moment, I stood as the ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 91:1-4, Isaiah 41:10, Galatians 6:2, Matthew 25:35-36, Luke 15:11-32, Psalm 107:28-30, Philippians 4:6-7  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Love, Tsunami Survival Tale, Banda Aceh, Andaman, Nicobar, Heartbreaking, Church, Earthquake, Care, Indonesia, Panicking, Islands  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Spit It Out!

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Mar 5, 2024

Spit It Out! Sharing the Sweet News We all know how unpredictable children can be—especially when it comes to what they decide to pop in their mouths! One unforgettable Sunday morning, right after church, I was shaking hands with a young dad when, out of nowhere, he went into full “parental ...read more

Scripture: Romans 1:16-17, 1 Peter 3:15, Mark 16:15, Matthew 28:18-20, Ephesians 6:1-4, Matthew 28:16-20  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: The Gospel, Ashamed, Sharing The Gospel, Soul Winning, Unpredictable, Children, Salvation, Obedience, Testimony, Witnessing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

Great Quotes By Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 16, 2020

While Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave many memorable quotations about freedom, civil rights, humankind and other critical issues, as a Christian pastor, some of his most notable quotes were on matters of faith. 1. “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ...read more

Scripture: Amos 4:4, Matthew 5:1-12

Tags: Justice, Civil Rights, Equality, Martin Luther King

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Coming Soon !?

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Apr 13, 2020

Many of us, I'm sure, remember hearing the words "Coming soon to a (fill in the blank) near you . . ."m intended to grab your attention. Well, sometimes that did indeed happen, as a lot of us want to find something new, maybe the latest and greatest thing to come our way. There are a ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-3, Acts 1:8, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Tags: Immanence, Coming Soon, Return Of Christ

Denomination: Baptist

The Difference Maker

Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Sep 16, 2020

My pastor, Wana Archer, tells about a time when he was a teenager and worked at a restaurant for .25 cents/hour. In this restaurant, there was a gambling machine that looked like a pinball machine. A player would deposit a nickel and get one shot to hit the jackpot or win some money. He noticed ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:1-11

Tags: Holy Spirit, Obedience

Denomination: Baptist

I Was That Baby Boy Who Almost Died

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Mar 15, 2022

When I was 15 years old, I met Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. It was the summer before my sophomore year in high school. That summer, the Lord called me to preach with an unmistakable calling on my life. I had a dream of one of my best friends one night. He was surrounded by flames and ...read more

Tags: Gospel, Miracles, God's Call, Prodigal Son, Testimonies, Father, Healing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Room  PRO

Contributed by Ely Lambert on Aug 19, 2002

The Room In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, ...read more

Tags: Forgiveness In Jesus, God's Provision

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

I’d Rather Kiss A Goat

Contributed by James Snyder on May 15, 2023

There are very few things in my life I regret; at least that I can remember. One of the good things about getting old is that you can forget many things. The important thing is to forget the right thing, which is a challenge. You can be sure I work on this all the time. It takes a really good ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:36-37

Tags: Kiss, Goat, Accountability, Excuses

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

These Old Bones Of Mine

Contributed by James Snyder on May 20, 2023

I had a frightening experience the other day. I know I must be getting old because things that never frightened me before frighten me. I also see things I never saw before. Going into the bathroom one morning, I looked in the mirror, and my grandfather looked back at me. I almost passed out. With ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 51:8, Psalm 34:20

Tags: Joy, Age, Humor, Bones

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Practice Makes Perfect Tjbts

Contributed by Blake Henson on Jun 6, 2023

Practice makes perfect shows that without good practice you can't expect to succeed in sports, but the same is true in your Christian life also. You can't just half prepare and expect to be a successful Christian. URL: https://youtu.be/eI92sWLcDIo SUMMARY In this video we see two teams. ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 5:14

Tags: Christian Walk, How To Get Stronger

What’s So Bad About A Knucklehead?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 26, 2023

Dr. James L. Snyder As I got older, the least little thing brought back memories from a lifetime ago. From some of the memories, I must have had an incredible boyhood. Too bad I can't live it again. I might improve those memories. Who knows. For some reason, I remembered the word ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Crazy, Knucklehead

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Welsh Revival Of ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 2, 2009

Welsh Revival of 1904-1905 Modern world history also records times of revival due to the hearing of God’s Word undergirded with prayer. The little nation Wales once become known as “The Land of Revival.” It has its own unique spiritual heroes such as Saint David of the Celtic Church – William ...read more

Scripture: Acts 6:4-7

Tags: Revival

Passing The Torch: Lessons From Castro  PRO

Contributed by Paul Fritz on Dec 1, 2001

PASSING THE TORCH: LESSONS FROM CASTRO In August, President Fidel Castro celebrated his 75th birthday. The Cuban dictator came to power in 1959, after overthrowing former dictator, Fulgencio Batista. On the eve of his birthday, Castro made a powerful gesture. He publicly handed a Cuban flag to ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 12:1

Tags: Devotion, Parenting, Zeal

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Indescribable Christ  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2002

INDESCRIBABLE CHRIST Dr. S.M. Lockridge was the Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, San Diego CA from 1953 - 1993. He entered heaven in 2000. He is well-known for a passage out of his sermon titled “He’s My King”: “He’s enduringly strong, He’s entirely sincere, He’s eternally steadfast. He’s ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 25:1

Tags: Miracles Of Jesus, Peace, Jesus Christ, Trinity

Sin Separates. Sin Divides. Sin Brings Death To ...  PRO

Contributed by Clark Tanner on Sep 23, 2004

Sin separates. Sin divides. Sin brings death to relationships and destroys fellowship. God unites. God brings oneness and unity. On the day of Pentecost, God reversed the Babel process, and with one language from heaven, He demonstrated that all in Him will be sharers of one divine ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:11

Tags: Gifts Tongues

Denomination: Orthodox

Rach And I Have A Friend Who Is A Source Of Grief ...  PRO

Contributed by Christopher Lanham on Feb 17, 2005

Rach and I have a friend who is a source of grief for us. It is not that he has done anything to us – he is quite dear to us actually. Rather it is what he has done to himself, what he has chosen to believe. About ten years ago, this friend began absenting himself from church. He was getting ...read more

Tags: Worship Purpose

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

The First Mongolian ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 28, 2009

THE FIRST MONGOLIAN CHURCH The Christian authors, Bill and Amy Stearns, in their book entitled "20/20 Vision: Amazing Stories of What God Is Doing Around the World," describe how the Gospel of Jesus, the Christ, came to Mongolia. "In the 1870’s Swedish missionaries arrived in Mongolia - what was ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8

Tags: Missions

Making The Workplace A ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 22, 2010

Making the Workplace a Ministry Priscilla and Aquila are regular people, with regular jobs, but the impact that they have for Jesus Christ goes beyond many who were called to full time ministry in their day. I have a friend back home, Michael. Michael is without a doubt a man with a call from ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:14-16

Tags: Honesty, Workplace Evangelism