In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes"

God Picks The Unlovable Ones

Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 15, 2011

GOD PICKS THE UNLOVABLE ONES Anne Lamott described a time when a fellow church member told about adopting her son through an organization called A.S.K. -- Adopt Special Kids. Part of the adoption process included filling out a questionnaire checking "yes" or "no" for one's willingness to adopt ...read more

Scripture: John 4:1-42

Tags: Adoption

Not If Jesus Is Like Dad  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 21, 2011

NOT IF JESUS IS LIKE DAD Some months ago I heard a touching story about a humble, consecrated pastor whose young son had become very ill. After the boy had undergone an exhaustive series of tests, the father was told the shocking news that his son had a terminal illness. The youngster had accepted ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-3

Tags: Father's Day

Travelers Vs. Tourists

Contributed by Tim Hinrichs on Mar 29, 2012

TRAVELERS VS. TOURISTS Canadian Pastor Mark Buchanan in his book "Your Church is Too Safe" points out the radical difference between a traveler and a tourist. "A traveler literally means 'one who travails.' He labors, he suffers, endures. A traveler -- travailer - ...immerses himself in a culture, ...read more

Tags: Discipleship

Denomination: Lutheran

God, You're In My Way.  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 28, 2012

"GOD, YOU'RE IN MY WAY." A California pastor, Kyle Idleman, talks about his last move in his book, Not a Fan. In that move, he saved the heaviest piece of furniture for last -- the desk from his office. And as he was pushing and pulling the desk with all his might, his four-year-old son came over ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:6-8, Philippians 4:4-7

Tags: Anxiety

A Story To Tell

Contributed by Bobby Jenkins on Feb 2, 2013

A STORY TO TELL (A poem to honor our military veterans ) By Pastor Bobby W. Jenkins Jr. A story to tell, one we can’t fully understand One of sacrifice and bravery of so many men A story to tell of a perilous fight That cost so many their lives and gathered such might A story to tell of the ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 33:12

Tags: Military, America, Soldier, Veterans, Holidays Civic  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Assembly Of God

God Is Not An Assistant  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 23, 2013

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR AN ASSISTANT? Tim Keller, a pastor in Manhattan, New York, said that in 1970 a Sunday school teacher changed his life with a simple illustration. The teacher said, “Let’s assume the distance between the earth and the sun (92 million miles) was reduced to the thickness of this ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 1:1-3

Tags: God's Omnipotence

Trials

Contributed by Tim Smith on May 28, 2015

Sam Dixon was the General Secretary of the United Methodist Committee on Relief. He died under the rubble in the Montana Hotel of Haiti, serving God while meeting with other relief agencies to work together to better help the Haitian people. When one serves God so faithfully and suddenly is killed, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 7:13-16

Tags: God's Sovereignty, Serving, Choices, The Price To Follow

Denomination: Methodist

What’s Pete Got To Do With Anything?

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 20, 2021

If there's anybody that can be conned, it's Yours Truly. It's not so much that I'm stupid; I'm just naïve. I believe when somebody says something, they mean exactly what they say. So, if you can't swindle me, you might as well hang it up and get a real job. I must ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 3:12-13

Tags: Blame, Accusations

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

From Roast Turkey To Reindeer

Contributed by James Snyder on Dec 9, 2023

Nothing is more confusing than being in the middle of two holidays. I have just finished Thanksgiving, and now Christmas is before me. Each year, it gets more difficult to adjust to the next holiday. It’s hard for me to keep up. For months, the focus was on that roast turkey for Thanksgiving. And ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Turkey, Reindeer, Christmas, Thanksgiving

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Steve Lyons Will Be Remembered As The Player Who ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2006

Steve Lyons will be remembered as the player who dropped his pants. He could be remembered as an outstanding infielder ... as the player who played every position for the Chicago White Sox ... as the guy who always dove into first base ... as a favorite of the fans who high fived the guy who ...read more

Scripture: John 20:19-31

Tags: Abandon, Sin General

Moses, Aaron And Hur Went To The Top Of The Hill. ...  PRO

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Aug 14, 2003

Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 5:11

Tags: Jesus Christ, Lordship Of Christ

Denomination: Lutheran

There Are Going To Be Things Happen To You In ...  PRO

Contributed by Timothy Smith on Jul 19, 2004

There are going to be things happen to you in this life that will make you cling to that eternal hope because there is no other. Wally and Barbara Rendel know that’s true. Wally is the minister at the Southern Acres Christian Church in Lexington and has been for over 20 years. But five years ago ...read more

Tags: Easter Resurrection

Denomination: Christian Church

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn  PRO

Contributed by Terry Laughlin on Aug 11, 2008

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn One of the greatest messages ever proclaimed was delivered by Jesus Christ and is referred to as the "Sermon on the Mount." His message is as relevant today as it was when it was first spoken. Our Lord opens this message not with a joke, but with the Beatitudes. The ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:4

Tags: Character

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Compassion Of Jesus Makes A Funeral A ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 10, 2010

The Compassion of Jesus Makes a Funeral a Celebration When I was in the 5th grade and we lived above the funeral home in Pawnee, there was no street celebration, no brass band or snare drum or festive umbrellas but the funeral for Rev Sonious’ wife was something to behold. Just months before she ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Tags: Funerals Christian

An Amusing Sight!

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Sep 2, 2023

An Amusing Sight! Use as an Icebreaker. Ron, Billy, a Dodge Truck and a Red Lawnmower Humorous story, in which you can change the names to fit a couple of guys from your congregation. Make sure you get their permission to joke about them. We know how thin skinned some people are. Lead in... As you ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Job 8:21, Psalm 65:12-13, Psalm 96:12, Proverbs 15:13, Proverbs 31:25  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Laughter, Icebreaker, Funny Story, Trucks, Bikes, Lighten Up, Joy, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

My Thoughts Are Worth More Than A Penny

Contributed by James Snyder on May 30, 2020

Dr. James L. Snyder I must admit that I do gravel a lot in thinking about my thoughts. It has been a habit of mine down through the years. Thinking is what really makes life worth living, or so I believe. My father had a saying whenever he saw me staring off into the distance, “A penny for your ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 139:17

Tags: Thoughts, Thinking, Penny

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Today Is Super Bowl Sunday, The Most Ballyhooed ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the most ballyhooed and widely watched pro football game of all. Someone defined a football game as 75,000 people sitting in a stadium, although they desperately need exercise, watching twenty-two people on the field who desperately need rest. Pastor Bob Schmidgall said ...read more

Tags: Faith

Love Lifted Me!

Contributed by Rick Palmer on Nov 4, 2018

God took a big basket and put everything in my life that was important, everything of value, and everything worth living for into the basket. Then he lifted it up very high and turn that basket upside down and shook it until it all scattered. Let me clarify, at the age of 36 I ...read more

Scripture: Acts 3:19, 2 Peter 3:9, 2 Timothy 2:25, Ezekiel 18:30, Proverbs 28:13, Acts 3:26, Psalm 40:2-3  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Evangelism, Judgement, Salvation, Divorce, Pray For The Lost, He Choose Me, Salvation Testimony, Lifted From The Mire, Depravity, Suicide, Cross Of Christ, Iniquity, Cross Of Jesus, Jesus The Rock  (view more)  (view less)

The Story Of Silent Night

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 24, 2025

The Inspiring True Story Behind "Silent Night" The church organ in a small Austrian village was silent for the 1818 premiere of the world’s most popular Christmas carol. by Elizabeth Sherrill From Posted in Inspiring Stories, Oct 15, 2020 My husband and I were staying in the little ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:10-20

Tags: Guitar, Josef Mohr, Franz Gruber, Silent Night

Denomination: Anglican

John Wesley's Father, Samuel, Was A Dedicated ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 21, 2005

John Wesley’s father, Samuel, was a dedicated pastor, but there were those in his parish who did not like him. On February 9, 1709, a fire broke out in the rectory at Epworth, possibly set by one of the rector’s enemies. Young John, not yet six years old, was stranded on an upper floor of the ...read more

Tags: God's Omniscience