In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes"

Two Wives Were Doing Their Washing In A Laundry ...

Contributed by Dennis Selfridge on Sep 5, 2008

Two wives were doing their washing in a laundry mat. They were both sitting mend their husband’s pants. As they were sowing, the one lady said, "My husband is so discouraged, he is so cold. We can’t find anything good on TV. Nothing seems to go right for him. Every one at work picks on him and we ...read more

Tags: Prayer Persistence

Denomination: Wesleyan

Despair And Depression—the News  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2008

DESPAIR AND DEPRESSION--THE NEWS Max Lucado, pastor and author describes the topic title best when he speaks of having "doubt storms". He said, "Sometimes the storm comes after the evening news. Some nights I wonder why I watch it. Some nights it's just too much. From the steps of the Supreme ...read more

Tags: Encouragement

Depression Antidote

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2008

DEPRESSION ANTIDOTE Pastor and author Warren Wiersbe draws our attention to the 51 references of the writer (psalmist) to himself, his interests, desires, feelings, questions and plans. Wiersbe advises that a healthy antidote to depression is to stop looking at self and look at God; second, to ...read more

Tags: Encouragement

You Didn't Get Him From Here

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 13, 2009

"YOU DIDN’T GET HIM FROM HERE" One Sunday morning a stranger wandered into a small country church in the middle of the sermon. The man was unkempt and dirty. The usher tried his best to seat him off in a far corner, but instead the man walked to the very first pew and sat directly in front of the ...read more

Tags: Church Purpose Of

Does He Show?  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 17, 2009

DOES HE SHOW? One Sunday as they drove home from church, a little girl turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, there’s something about the preacher’s message this morning that I don’t understand." The mother said, "Oh? What is it?" The little girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 2:20

Tags: Christian Witness

Funny Church Feuds

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 14, 2021

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside. One week, the preacher preached on commitment, and how you should dedicate yourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 2:1-11

Tags: Unity, Hymns, Division, Church Fights

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God Can Turn Evil To Good

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Aug 26, 2023

Myra Wattinger was 40 years old and living in Pasadena, Texas when she experienced a traumatic event in her life. She was raped and then became pregnant. She did not feel that she could take care of a child, so she placed an ad in the Houston Post newspaper at the time she gave birth to a baby ...read more

Tags: Sovereignty, God's Will, Testimony, Providence, Rape, Preachers, Miracles  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Praying Lost Friends Into The Kingdom Of God

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 11, 2024

Some years ago a young girl was very sick and not expected to recover. Because of her love for Jesus, she was troubled that she had not been able to do more for Him in her short life. Her pastor suggested that she make a list of people in their little town who needed Christ and pray that they might ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8

Tags: Evangelism, Faith, Unsaved, Death, Children, Heaven, Missions, Prayer, Lost  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Feldkirch Bells

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 24, 2025

The citizens of Feldkirch, Austria, didn’t know what to do. Napoleon’s massive army was preparing to attack. Soldiers had been spotted on the heights above the little town, which was situated on the Austrian border. A council of citizens was hastily summoned to decide whether they should try to ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 28:33-34

Tags: Bells, Feldkirch

Denomination: Anglican

God Qualifies The Called

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Jun 13, 2026

I came across this quote that I found most helpful Before you say you are not qualified to be used by God please remember this Abraham was too old Isaac was a day dreamer Jacob was deceitful and a liar Leah was ugly Joseph was abused Moses was a murderer and couldn't talk Gideon was ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 9:9-26

Tags: Matthew, Qualified

Denomination: Anglican

To One It’s Monday To Another It’s Wednesday

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 11, 2020

Time goes so fast at times that I do not always remember what day it is. I get so busy trying to get my work done that I forget if it’s Monday or Friday. It is a good thing I am getting older because I have a built-in excuse for forgetting what day it is. Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 15:13

Tags: Happiness, Joy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What It Was, Was A Peach Tree

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 15, 2020

For some reason, this week, I had been thinking of my maternal grandfather. I was named after him, and therefore we had a connection. I was thinking about him because this month I turned the same age as he was when he passed. I hope there's no connection there. As a young boy, I would spend a ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23

Tags: Faith, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doing Nothing Is Harder Than I Thought

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 29, 2020

After being so long in a lockdown situation, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage planned a short vacation time for us. It took her quite a while to put all of the pieces together, but she succeeded as always. As I was preparing for this little adventure, my wife looked at me and said, ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:31

Tags: Vacation, Holiday

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Be Careful What You Smile About

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 20, 2021

Dr. James L. Snyder I am a student of smileology and have been just about all my life. If you can't smile at something, it's not worth thinking about. Of course, certain things in life are serious, but not that many. Too many people take everything seriously and ruin their life. These are ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5

Tags: Humor, Facebook, Lockedout

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Where Do Wrinkles Come From?

Contributed by James Snyder on Jun 12, 2021

Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for being there. According to the eye doctor, and doctors are never wrong, I now have 2020 vision. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 5:8

Tags: Plastic Surgery, Wrinkles

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doctors Are Always Right

Contributed by James Snyder on May 21, 2022

Last year I suffered what is referred to as a heart attack. I got to the hospital in time, so there was no any major damage. I had one artery known as the "Widow Maker" that was 90% blocked, which seemed to be a very serious thing. Who knew I even had a heart, but doctors are always ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:9

Tags: Medical, Doctors

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What A Wacky World We Live In

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 1, 2023

I like the old saying, “Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.” This is the kind of world we live in today, and I’m still not adjusted to this sort of thing. I’m not sure I will ever adjust to the world around me. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I will be watching the ...read more

Tags: David, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Memories Can Be So Memorable

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 19, 2023

In growing older, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The older I get, the more I forget. I remember things that happened in my youth and the pressure of those memories is, are they true, or am I just making them up? I have nobody to verify those memories. I don’t think I will try to verify those ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-11

Tags: Memory, Weddings

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

You Break It, You Fix It

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 19, 2024

Every once in a while, I hear or see something that reminds me of my father. He’s been gone for over 15 years, but his memory is still fresh in my mind. His most famous saying, that I remember, was, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” He lived that to the very end of his ...read more

Scripture: James 1:5-6

Tags: Wisdom, Fixing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Excerpts From Saturday Evening Post Magazine ...  PRO

Contributed by Davon Huss on Feb 19, 2001

Excerpts From Saturday Evening Post Magazine article on Jack La Lanne: Fit for Life. At 86, Jack La Lanne has dipped, chinned, pushed, pulled, and lifted more often than anyone in recorded history. His present training regimen is tailor-made for only superheroes. While many of his contemporaries ...read more

Tags: Leadership General, Christian Disciplines, Church Body Of Christ

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ