In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

I Am Only Vaguely Aware Of How God Fits ...

Contributed by Russell Brownworth on Nov 27, 2006

I am only vaguely aware of how God fits everything together. But, often looking back we see more clearly. I was searching through some old papers and came across a note from Sarah Hollis. Sarah was Carrie’s age (10) when we went to Jacksonville, Florida. She rode our van to church each week – ...read more

Denomination: United Methodist

Paul Never Stopped Being A Ring Leader For Jesus ...

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jan 25, 2007

Paul never stopped being a ring leader for Jesus and as I have been reading about the founding of this nation in America neither did the Colonial pastor’s in America and the majority of its government leaders. These ring leaders for Jesus paid the price for their faithfulness to the Gospel and the ...read more

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why Be Buried With A Fork In Your ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 4, 2010

Why Be Buried With a Fork in Your Hand There was a woman who had been told she only had 3 months to live. Her doctor recommended that she start making preparations to die. And so, she contacted her Pastor to talk about her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at her funeral, what ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Tags: Heaven

Temporal Vs Eternal

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Jan 21, 2021

I HAVE BEEN WITH MANY DYING PEOPLE AND LISTENED CLOSELY TO “THE REGRETS.” I was driving an elderly lady to a doctor’s appointment in Lexington. It was a four hour trip. The doctor did not have real good news. Her days were limited. On the way home we stopped and ate. Then we headed home. ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3:9-14, Malachi 3:8-11

Tags: Eternity, Temporal Vision

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Live What You Believe  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009

LIVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE After the collapse of the Berlin Wall in 1989, no person in all of East Germany was more despised than the former Communist dictator Erich Honniker. He had been stripped of all his offices. Even the Communist Party rejected him. Kicked out of his villa, the new government ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 7:13-14

Tags: Christian Love

The Beginning Of Marilyn Manson

Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Feb 27, 2012

THE BEGINNING OF MARILYN MANSON Brian Warner started going to church with a friend years ago. Brian was a skinny pizza faced nerdy looking kid that nobody liked. He was also a loner who looked out of place most of the time. The youth group took a trip to an amusement park one weekend and when ...read more

Tags: Judgment

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Soul Food

Contributed by David Dunn on Oct 8, 2025

A certain man who had been absent from church for a long time received an inquiring visit from the Pastor. The man told the Pastor, "I've attended nearly every Sunday for 30 years. In that time, I have heard something like 1,500 sermons. In all of those years, people were shouting ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:1-5, Isaiah 40:31, John 6:35

Tags: Worship, Faithfulness, Nourishment

Denomination: Seventh-Day Adventist

There Is A Story Of A Young Hippie Who Gave His ...  PRO

Contributed by Brian La Croix on Oct 16, 2001

There is a story of a young hippie who gave his life to Christ during the Jesus Movement of the late sixties and early seventies. One Sunday he went to a church, not knowing it was one of the more “upper class” churches in the area. He was late to the service, and the pastor was about to begin ...read more

Scripture: James 2:1-4

Tags: Jesus' Ministry, Christian Love, Church Body Of Christ

Denomination: Wesleyan

In Leadership Magazine, Dave Wilkinson Writes The ...  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Jan 23, 2002

In Leadership magazine, Dave Wilkinson writes the following to pastors… Have you ever wondered why your pastoral resume doesn’t evoke more enthusiasm? Do you ever think, "What are these people looking for?" Perhaps the question should be, "What aren’t they looking for?" because with the numbers of ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:2-3

Tags: Leadership General, Sacrifice

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

You Don't Know What You're Talking About!  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 23, 2005

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! Rejection comes in all forms. Steven was a young man that felt the call of God on his life. He came from a really close family. He finished his college and then went off to seminary. After finishing seminary he came back before going to his first church. ...read more

Scripture: Mark 6:1-6

Tags: Send, Rejection, Jesus Teachings, Jesus' Ministry

A Man Urgently Needed To Get To Town. So He Went ...  PRO

Contributed by Paul Humphrey on Nov 23, 2005

A man urgently needed to get to town. So he went to a neighbor who happened to be a pastor and asked to borrow his horse. The pastor obliged but told the man that there were some special instructions required for riding this particular horse. The preacher said, “since we need to begin our ...read more

Tags: Prayer How To

Denomination: United Methodist

To Win Them, You Must Weep For Them  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 27, 2009

TO WIN THEM, YOU MUST WEEP FOR THEM A woman went to her pastor and said, "I’ve been a Christian for 20 years. I’ve read books on how to win souls. I’ve memorized scripture. I’ve taken courses on how to win the lost. And yet I haven’t won one person to the Lord. Why?" The pastor’s answer ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:41-44

Tags: Evangelism How To

When I Get Straightened Out

Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 4, 2009

WHEN I GET STRAIGHTENED OUT When a new family moved into the community, the pastor went to invite them to his church. The husband said, "We are just getting moved in, Parson, but I will come when I get straightened out." After a few weeks, the Rev. went again with the same invitation. The ...read more

Tags: Evangelism Urgency

Denomination: Pentecostal

The Real Miracle  PRO

Contributed by Scott Bayles on Jun 27, 2009

THE REAL MIRACLE Several years ago, a very peculiar sight could be seen at a large downtown church in England. On the first Sunday of the New Year, an ex-convict knelt to receive communion beside the judge who had sentenced him to seven years in prison. After being sentenced, the young convict was ...read more

Tags: Grace

Denomination: Christian Church

Regalo De Navidad

Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 26, 2013

Regalo de navidad Fue el día después de Navidad en una iglesia de San Francisco. Pastor Mike estaba mirando la escena de la natividad al aire libre cuando se dio cuenta de que el bebé Jesús había desaparecido de las figuras. Inmediatamente, el pastor Mike se volvió hacia la iglesia para llamar a ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:1-29

Tags: Navidad, Christmas, Spanish, Espanol

Trading Places

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 7, 2014

Several years ago, a Baptist camp in Texas was having the annual softball game between counselors and campers on the last day of church camp. The teams divided up and went at each other. After the game started, a teenager in center field chased a long fly ball and hurt his ankle. His pastor was ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:17-21

Tags: Atonement, Forgiveness, Cross, Blood Of Christ

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Who Is Praying For Me?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 31, 2022

Pastor Jim Cymbala's daughter had been running from God for a long time. Chrissy had rebelled against her family, had left home, and was living as far from God as she could. But one night, this teenager awoke with the distinct feeling that someone was praying for her. And someone was. The ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3, James 4:1-2

Tags: Petition, Intercessory Prayer, Interceding For Sinners, Prayer

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Tithe Belongs To God!

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 13, 2022

You don’t give the tithe, you return it back to God. It belongs to Him! There is a cartoon that shows four frames! 1. In the first frame a man looks at a new car! The salesman says, "10% down and low, low payments for 48 months." The man asks, "Where do I sign?" 2. In the ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 16:1-2

Tags: Giving, Tithing

What Percentage Will Go To Heaven?

Contributed by Glynda Lomax on Apr 21, 2023

[Pastor Clendennen speaking:] For many years, in the church I pastored, we had an all-night prayer meeting the last Friday night of every month. One such Friday night, out of four-hundred members, there were forty-one of us present. As I was praying, I heard this Word from the Lord: “You are ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 24:40-42, 1 Corinthians 15:52, Revelation 1:7

Tags: Rapture, Bride Of Christ, Return Of Jesus

Denomination: Charismatic

It Comes Back To You  PRO

Contributed by Robert Travis on Jul 19, 2001

IT COMES BACK TO YOU Have you ever heard this expression, "It’s enough to make a preacher cuss." It reminds me of story about little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. The local pastor walked up and he was able to persuade him to buy the worn out lawn mower. The pastor pulled on the rope several ...read more

Tags: Commandments God's Name

Denomination: Baptist