In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

If Marriage Is That Much Work.......lol

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 24, 2016

IF MARRIAGE IS THAT MUCH WORK........LOL Because of a shortage of maids, the minister’s wife advertised for a male servant to help around the house. The next morning, a nicely dressed young man came to the front door of the parsonage. The minister opened the door and jumped right into the ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:1-23

Tags: Marriage, Humor, Husbands And Wives, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Lazy Man Search

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Jun 25, 2025

Humor: The Laziest Man Search - Roll Me Over One hot June day, when the foreman didn’t hear or see any activity, he found his workers in the breakroom soaking up the A/C. He said, “This is the laziest bunch of workers I’ve ever seen. I just don’t know which one of you is the laziest.” He reaches ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23, Ephesians 4:28, John 6:27, Psalm 90:17, 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, 1 Corinthians 15:58, Matthew 9:35-38, Colossians 3:23-24, John 4:35-38  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Humor, Labor, Lazy, Laughter, Zealous, Preacher Jokes, Work Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

A Perfect Preacher  PRO

Contributed by David Parks on Jan 30, 2003

A PERFECT PREACHER After hundreds of years, a model preacher has been found to suit everyone. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down. He condemns sin but never hurts anyone. He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. In every type of work from preaching to custodial service. He makes $60.00 a ...read more

Tags: Church, Leadership General, Leadership, John The Baptist, Hope, Pastor, Pastors, Qualification, Sin, Thanksgiving, Thankful, Thanks  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Blackaby: What Does A Calling Look Like?  PRO

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jan 3, 2013

BLACKABY: WHAT DOES A CALLING LOOK LIKE? Henry Blackaby shares from his book "The Power of the Call" pages 10-14 a clear picture of what one looks like who is called by God into pastoral ministry: 1. The pastor is chosen 2. He is chosen by God 3. He is chosen by God to be His servant 4. He is ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 5:1-4, 1 John 4:7-10

Tags: Pastor, Leadership General, Elder, Shepherd

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Mother Teresa

Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Mar 1, 2016

Mother Teresa was attending a party full of dignitaries. The guest list included presidents and statesmen from around the world. They came in their crowns and jewels and silks. Mother Teresa wore her ever-present sari, held together by a safety pin. True leadership must be for the benefit of the ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 5:1-10

Tags: Mercy, Pastoral Leadership, Showing Mercy

Denomination: Baptist

Don't Wait For A Cyclone To Preach The Word!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

A.W. Tozer once said, "I heard of one graduate of a theological school who determined to follow his old professor’s advice and preach the Word only. His crowds were average. Then one day a cyclone hit the little town and he yielded to the temptation to preach on the topic, “Why God Sent A ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Preach!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

“PREACH” The word, “preach” comes from the Greek word, kerusso, and means to proclaim as a herald or make a proclamation in a public gathering. The herald may not even have liked the message he was to proclaim or the people may not have wanted to hear it and, thus, the temptation for the herald ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Preaching, Pastors, Churches, The Word Of God

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Funniest Funeral Sermon Ever!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 4, 2022

Two brothers had terrorized a small town in Alabama for decades. They lied, they cheated, they stole and they were two of the sorriest persons in the entire town. Then, unfortunately, one of the brothers died unexpectedly. The surviving brother went to the pastor of the local Baptist church. He ...read more

Tags: Death, Lies, Pastors, Churches, Funerals  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Playing Favorites In The Church - James 2

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 28, 2024

1. Verse 1: Partiality contradicts faith in Jesus Christ as the Lord of glory. 2. Verses 2-4: Partiality reveals a judging heart and behind it evil thinking. 3. Verse 5: Partiality to the rich contradicts God's heart, because he has chosen many of the poor for himself. 4. Verse 6a: ...read more

Tags: Church, Favoritism, Prejudice, Pastors, Partiality  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Shepherd Or Butcher?

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 23, 2022

Two people were watching a man drive a herd of sheep through the main street of a small town. “I thought shepherds led sheep. I didn’t know they drove them with a whip.” “They do,” the other fellow remarked. “That’s not a ...read more

Scripture: John 10:11-17, John 10:27-31

Tags: Compassion, Leadership, Shepherd, Pastor, Sheep, Care, Good Shepherd, Pastoral, Bad Shepherd  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Sowing And Reaping

Contributed by Paul Robinson on Mar 20, 2023

It was my Senior year of high school, and I wanted to have a good date for the upcoming Junior Senior Banquet (a Christian version of the prom). Her name was Jenny. She was the pastor's daughter, and she was cute. When I finally got up the nerve to ask her, she readily said Yes! I was so ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7-8

Tags: Humor, Sowing, Reaping, Personal Story

Denomination: Baptist

When God Says...what?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 14, 2014

A young preacher in Ft. Worth, Texas was trying to make an impression on a Pastor Search Team who had come to his church to hear him preach. The young man was preaching on the time in the Old Testament when God had enough with His disobedient people and finally said to them, "Ichabod!", which ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 4:21

Tags: Mistakes, Humor, Glory Of God, Sermon Bloopers

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Behold, I Cometh!

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Aug 21, 2023

Once a pastor was frustrated because his church seemed dead and unenthusiastic. He attended a pastor’s conference for encouragement. The keynote speaker suggests sitting down quietly and creating suspense. Speak on the second coming of Christ. Then stand to the pulpit and raise your hand and shout ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Tags: Preacher Joke, Fellowship, Meeting, Humor, Enthusiasm  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

A Wonderful, Imaginative Short Story By Nathaniel ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 24, 2002

A wonderful, imaginative short story by Nathaniel Hawthorne illustrates the necessity of having the right focus. It is entitled “The Great Stone Face.” The tale centers around a man named Ernest who grew up in a village renowned for a natural wonder that rested just outside its boundaries. ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 11:16-23

Tags: Humor, Mother's Day, Story, Devotional

A Spotlight And A Laser Beam  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Dec 30, 2003

[illustration] Have you ever wondered what makes the difference between a spotlight and a laser beam? How can a medium-powered laser burn through steel in a matter of seconds, while the most powerful spotlight can only make it warm? Both may have the same electrical power requirements. The ...read more

Scripture: John 17:11

Tags: Unity, Backward, Fear, Forward, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Save My Boot!

Contributed by James Dorman on May 11, 2017

As an elementary age kid I received a present which made my life complete. I finally had my very own set of cowboy boots! I was so proud of them, I would have slept in them if my mom would have allowed it. I have 2 cousins who were born the same year as me. When our families got together, ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:6-7

Tags: Faith General, Humorous, Faith, Fear

Denomination: Baptist

Mowing Your Yard In The Midst Of A Flood!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 15, 2020

Glen and Jo Ann live in Orange County, California in a low lying area. It flooded one year and the local newspaper sent a reporter in a boat out to Glen and Jo Ann’s neighborhood. The reporter found Jo Ann, sitting on their roof watching large objects floating by, so he climbed up on the roof to ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 6:33

Tags: Humor, Priorities, Seeking The Kingdom First

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Junk Is A Matter Of Personal Definition

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 10, 2020

I thought I had everything organized and in order. It just shows how useless my thinking is these days. There are many piles in my office and on my desk, and I know what is in each pile. Everything is organized to my specifications. My rule is: if I can't find something, I don't need it. ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 16:3

Tags: Work, Humor, Planning, Office Space

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Funny Marriage Proposal

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 4, 2021

FUNNY LOVE STORY Ruth Chudrow stated that she met her husband “while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books. After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and ...read more

Tags: Love, Marriage, Humor, Weddings, Proposals  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Bible Makes A Difference!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 4, 2021

The story is told of a South Sea Islander who proudly displayed his Bible to a G.I. during WW II. He had received it as a present from a missionary some time before. The soldier said, “Oh, we’ve outgrown that sort of thing like the Bible.” The native. who had been a Cannibal before he was ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Bible, Humor, Miracles, Missionaries, Scriptures  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational