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In Sermon Illustrations: "Off Color"

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  • If Someone Ran Through The Door Of Our Church ...

    Contributed by David Moore on Jul 11, 2008
     | 2,077 views

    If someone ran through the door of our church tonight and cried out, “There is an exothermic oxidation of a combustible substance resulting in rapid, persistent chemical change which is releasing heat and light, accompanied by flame.” We might wonder what the problem is. But if they just should ...read more

  • The Power Of Love

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 2, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 6,204 views

    THE POWER OF LOVE An old fable tells how different instruments tried to master a piece of iron. The blows of the ax fell heavily, but its edge became more and more blunt. The saw’s relentless teeth worked until they were worn down or broken The hammer’s head flew off at the first stroke. Despite ...read more

  • Anger Irony

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 8, 2008
     | 4,206 views

    Anger Irony Bad weather had backed up all flights, and as a result our plane sat on the runway for three hours. All attempts to placate the passengers weren’t working. Then the pilot came on the intercom to announce his umpteenth update: "Folks, we'll be getting permission to take off, but I have ...read more

  • Stand Up And Be Counted

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Oct 28, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,675 views

    Stand Up and Be Counted Some years ago Premier Khrushchev was speaking before the Supreme Soviet and was severely critical of the late Premier Stalin. While he was speaking someone from the audience sent up a note: "What were you doing when Stalin committed all these atrocities?" Khrushchev ...read more

  • In Our Group We Discussed Some Of The Intricacies ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Nov 11, 2008
     | 548 views

    In our group we discussed some of the intricacies here. Studies have shown that people on the average spend 30% more if using a credit or even a debit card when making their normal purchases. For many people, dolling out cash helps us spend less. However, some in the group pointed out that the ...read more

  • Christians Die Better

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 13, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,738 views

    CHRISTIANS DIE BETTER On May 28, 1914 a ship called the Express of Ireland hit another ship and began to sink quickly. As the ship began to sink in the cold Atlantic Ocean it was discovered that there were not enough life belts on board for all the passengers. On that ship were 130 Salvation Army ...read more

  • I Once Heard The Story Of A Man And His Wife Who ...

    Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Jan 29, 2009
     | 840 views

    I once heard the story of a man and his wife who decided to go to a drive-in movie. They thought the price was too high and plotted to put one over on the management of the theater. When they were within a short distance of the drive-in, the husband climbed into the trunk of the car. The ...read more

  • Why Stick With Milk?

    Contributed by Todd Leupold on Feb 10, 2009
     | 2,231 views

    WHY STICK WITH MILK? Why would someone continue with a staple diet of milk only? Simple. Milk is easily and quickly swallowed. Meat, on the other hand, is much more substantial. It needs to be chewed, savored and broken down before it can be swallowed. Usually, we have to wait for it to cook. ...read more

  • You Don't Have To See To Believe

    Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Mar 10, 2009
     | 2,384 views

    YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEE TO BELIEVE Mt. Diablo is only about 3,500 feet, but it is very noticeable as it sits all alone in the Concord, California valley. Before I called them "God sightings" I found myself caught up in an "aha" moment as I looked at the cloud covered Mt. Diablo. I couldn’t help but ...read more

  • If We Have Failed In Any Respect In This Matter ...

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Apr 13, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 857 views

    If we have failed in any respect in this matter of “go…preach” it is probably related to our limited understanding of what the church is. Bishop Leslie Newbigin, labeled as “one of the leading influences on the theology of mission” (Wilbert R. Shenk) in the 20th century, was once quoted as saying, ...read more

  • Somebody Once Said That Life Was Like An Onion: ...

    Contributed by Daniel Olukoya on Apr 10, 2009
    based on 4 ratings
     | 6,549 views

    Somebody once said that life was like an onion: you can peel off one layer at a time but as you do so, its juice gets into your eyes and causes your eyes to be filled with tears. There is something that is known as the trouble of life. I read a comment by one man of God called Matthew Henry. ...read more

  • An Outstretched Hand

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 27, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,841 views

    AN OUTSTRETCHED HAND In Stockholm, Sweden, a woman was injured as she rushed to catch a streetcar. She stumbled in front of the moving car and was caught beneath it. The police sent for a crane to lift the car off her body. While waiting for the crane, a crowd of people gathered out of curiosity. ...read more

  • Twas The Night Of Thanksgiving, I Just Couldn't ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 27, 2009
     | 2,774 views

    ‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving, I just couldn’t sleep.. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned - the dark meat and white But I fought the temptation with all of my might Tossing and turning with anticipation The thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced ...read more

  • Brother Reassure His Sister In Carlsbad Caverns ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 20, 2009
     | 4,380 views

    Brother Reassure His Sister in Carlsbad Caverns When Lights Turned Out Bob Woods tells the story of a couple who took their son, 11, and daughter, 7, to Carlsbad Caverns. As always, when the tour reached the deepest point in the cavern, the guide turned off all the lights to dramatize how ...read more

  • I Remember A Man In One Of My Childhood Churches. ...

    Contributed by Timothy Darling on Apr 7, 2010
     | 2,511 views

    I remember a man in one of my childhood churches. He had the most distinctive prayers. They were long, but it was also the timbre of his voice, the passion of his requests, his volume in a huge sanctuary. I could have been in Topeka and heard him pray and I would have recognized him. It had to be ...read more

  • An Angry Hospital Patient ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 1, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,791 views

    An Angry Hospital Patient Repents I read about a woman who was in the hospital when she got a bad report. She was so mad at God she went into the hospital chapel to tell God off. She was angry because she thought God had been fooling people by telling them he was a God of love. As she approached ...read more

  • Caught In The Barn  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 13, 2010
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,948 views

    CAUGHT IN THE BARN During one of his political campaigns, a delegation called on Theodore Roosevelt at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. The President met them with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up. "Ah, gentlemen," he said, "come down to the barn and we will talk while I do some work." ...read more

  • A Special Visitor

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 29, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,822 views

    A SPECIAL VISITOR This past Tuesday, it was difficult to drive in and out of our church parking lot because of a barrage of traffic down Webster Street. Where did this traffic come from? Downtown was blocked off because President Obama and Vice-President Biden were speaking at a closed meeting a ...read more

  • This Is Your Captain...

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Jan 25, 2011
     | 3,285 views

    "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN..." The 747 jetliner taxiing down the runway, with the passengers all buckled up for takeoff. A voice came over the speakers in the plane's cabin, "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard Flight 22 for London's Heathrow Airport. We ...read more

  • Evading The "R" Word

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2011
     | 2,275 views

    EVADING THE "R" WORD Jimmy had trouble pronouncing the letter "R" so his teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the rib for roasting the rabbit so rare." Some days later the teacher asked him to say the sentence for her. Jimmy rattled it off like this. "Bob ...read more