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In Sermon Illustrations: "Off Color"

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  • Do You Remember The Symbolism Behind Water ...  PRO

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Apr 3, 2007
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,109 views

    Do you remember the symbolism behind Water Baptism? The 2nd step of submersion in Water Baptism deals with a circumcision of the heart according to Francis Anfuso’s booklet Water Baptism he states on page 12: a. In the Old Testament, God established circumcision to be an outward work which ...read more

  • Melanie (Age 5) Asked Her Granny How Old She Was. ...  PRO

    Contributed by David Rumley on Apr 7, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,556 views

    MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six." BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take ...read more

  • Minimum Pleasure, Maximum ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
     | 2,130 views

    MINIMUM PLEASURE, MAXIMUM PENALTY When we sin, we often do so with the futile hope that we shall obtain the maximum amount of pleasure at the minimum penalty. It seldom works that way, however. I once heard the story of a man and his wife who decided to go to a drive-in movie. They thought the ...read more

  • The Day After The Wedding, We Had To Drop Luke ...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 23, 2009
     | 1,824 views

    The day after the wedding, we had to drop Luke off at Moody. Right in back of the visitor’s parking lot was a Pakistani cafeteria. A real dive, but dives often have the best food. I ordered my favorite, goat; Luke had fish and Marylu and Hannah- chicken. As I was standing in line, the small ...read more

  • What Would You Do?

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Jul 9, 2009
     | 1,506 views

    WHAT WOULD YOU DO? A young police officer was taking his final exam for the police academy and he was set the following problem to solve. "You are on patrol in the outer city when an explosion occurs in a gas main in a nearby street. On investigation you find that a large hole has been blown in ...read more

  • I Remember When I Was A Kid And This Is True For ...

    Contributed by Andrew Moffatt on Sep 1, 2009
     | 1,440 views

    I remember when I was a kid and this is true for the vast majority of boys and quite a few girls, getting covered in mud, a rugby game, a decent sized puddle, a building site, mud fights, mud pies any excuse was an opportunity for a wallow. I thought it was great, my mates thought it was great ...read more

  • Search And Rescue

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 21, 2009
     | 6,303 views

    SEARCH AND RESCUE There is a group of people I hope we never have to meet. They’re job is hard, exciting, frightening and important all at the same time. They do SAR; Search and Rescue. They work near Reno, Nevada and work ski resorts and desert rescue. They pull people off of Mt. Hood, find lost ...read more

  • Anchor During Life's Storms  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 7, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 7,071 views

    ANCHOR DURING LIFE'S STORMS In October of 1991, a storm stronger than any in recorded history hit the coast off of Gloucester, Massachusetts. This storm created an almost apocalyptic situation in the Atlantic Ocean, where boats encountered waves of 100 feet - the equivalent of a ten story building ...read more

  • M. Scott Peck, In The Road Less Travelled Wrote ...

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Jan 11, 2010
     | 1,068 views

    M. Scott Peck, in The Road Less Travelled wrote that he spent much of 9th summer on his bike. About a mile from house was a road with a very steep hill that ended with sharp turn at the bottom. One morning he was riding down the hill and felt the gathering speed to be ecstatic! Applying brakes and ...read more

  • Selling What You Believe In

    Contributed by Warren Whitaker on Feb 10, 2010
     | 2,237 views

    Selling What You Believe In My best friend in high school is now a teacher, but when we were in college, he tried his hand at selling things. He worked for Amway, Long Distance Telephone services, all sorts of those door to door, sign-you-up, pyramid-type business. I even remember him selling ...read more

  • The "Yes" Face

    Contributed by Jorge Acevedo on Feb 17, 2010
     | 3,655 views

    THE "YES" FACE I read a story about our 3rd president, Thomas Jefferson, him and his companions were traveling the countryside when they came upon a river that had overran its banks because of heavy rain. The bridge had been washed out and they had to cross the river on horseback fighting against ...read more

  • Mr. Galey Said His Brother Borrowed A Miter Box ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Feb 23, 2010
     | 1,414 views

    Mr. Galey said his brother borrowed a miter box from him on one occasion to make a picture frame. A miter is a sloping surface instead of a straight one. In the case of a picture frame, the miter joint would be at a 45 degree angle on each piece of wood. A miter box is a u-shaped object so ...read more

  • Lorrie Anderson, Missionary To The ...

    Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Mar 10, 2010
     | 3,822 views

    Lorrie Anderson, missionary to the head-shrinking Candoshi Shapra Indians of Peru, was looking for a quiet place for her daily time of Bible reading and prayer, so she went down by the edge of the river. After reading the Bible, she took up her prayer list. Eyes closed, she did not see the deadly ...read more

  • No Rest For The Unforgiving

    Contributed by Isaac Butterworth on Mar 19, 2010
     | 3,090 views

    NO REST FOR THE UNFORGIVING Somewhere in the recesses of my memory is the recollection of a movie. It’s a Western; I know that much. I can’t remember the title of the movie, but I remember the story line. The hero is a law man, and he is transporting a convicted murderer across the treacherous ...read more

  • Friend Of The Son

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 9, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,963 views

    FRIEND OF THE SON Rick Warren talks about Ron Dunn, a friend of his, who took his young son to a carnival one time for his birthday. His son had picked six boys to go with him, so Ron bought a roll of tickets. Every line he'd come up to, he'd pull off seven tickets and give them to all the kids. ...read more

  • How Amazing Was The News Story Of The ...

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jul 23, 2010
     | 1,433 views

    How amazing was the news story of the 15-month-old boy who survived the train accident in May this year. It all took place in a split second but for the grandmother who looked away for just a moment from the pram she was pushing, it must have seemed like eternity. When she turned back, the pram ...read more

  • The Town Gossip

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 27, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,812 views

    THE TOWN GOSSIP Many years ago the Moody Church News carried a humorous story about a woman in a small town who was known for being a gossip. One day on vacation she visited the offices of The Chicago Daily News. She was wearing a white dress and inadvertently leaned against a wall where a freshly ...read more

  • I've Got A Flashlight!  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 13, 2011
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,015 views

    I'VE GOT A FLASHLIGHT! Ann Beck of North Carollton, Mississippi, talks about the days when her husband and she taught 2- and 3-year-olds in Sunday school. A Bible verse they helped the pre-schoolers memorize was Psalms 56: "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." Their preschool son, Mark, was one ...read more

  • Abandoned

    Contributed by Jason Bonnicksen on May 15, 2011
     | 4,603 views

    ABANDONED A little over a week ago I made a pilgrimage over to Wally Mart – I’m sure to get something for dinner. Anyway, while getting out of the car, I noticed that the car in front of me had in it a small child – a baby, sitting in his or her car seat, sleeping away. All the while the baby’s ...read more

  • Bill Hybels: Why People Are Lonely

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 14, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,453 views

    BILL HYBELS: WHY PEOPLE ARE LONELY Why do we have a sense of loneliness today? Bill Hybels explains it this way: "It is a "me-first” mind-set. This mind-set says indulge yourself, fulfill your desires, satiate your appetites, pursue pleasure, take off all restraints. As much as we might want to ...read more