Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
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Signs You Ate Too Much Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 12 feet tall.
~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
~ The
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Contributed by Jim Heidebrecht on Jun 21, 2007
MOVIE USHER:
Use their flashlight to show you the way in a dark place.
If something goes wrong, everyone looks to the guy who has been identified as knowing the way – by his jacket, his name tag, his silly hat, and his light
There was a young man working as an usher, and his manager asked
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Jul 1, 2007
The web-slinging superhero has gone and done it again! Spiderman 3 opened on May 6, 2007 and on opening night grossed in excess of a staggering M$151 US – and climbing! This movie was different from Spider 1 and 2 in that Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spiderman, was forced to deal with what the overview
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Denomination:
Salvation Army
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Sep 13, 2007
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New Every Morning
Yea, “new every morning,” though we may awake,
Our hearts with old sorrow beginning to ache;
With old work unfinished when night stayed our hand
With new duties waiting, unknown and unplanned;
With old care still pressing, to fret and to vex,
With new problems rising, our minds
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Brian Matherlee on Nov 29, 2007
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i. (From “The Hurting Parent”, pg. 78ff.) A couple with two daughters still at home received a call from their wayward son late one night. He had called from a hotel and told his mom, “I’m hurting and really hungry…tell me what to do.” His voice drifted off and a strong voice broke in. It was
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Dec 6, 2007
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A woman was visiting some people who lived on a farm, and she noticed a pig limping in the backyard with a wooden leg. She asked the farmer, "What happened to the pig?" The farmer said, "Oh, Betsy is a wonderful pig. One night the house caught fire and she oinked so loud she woke us and we got the
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Jay Winters on Dec 27, 2007
Hat-tip to SermonCentral illustration bank: On Christmas Eve of 1906, off the coast of Massachusetts, ships carrying sailors that would have liked to be someplace else than a boat on Christmas Eve received a message from the coast in morse code. “CQ….CQ” it said, indicating that an important
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2008
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There is a tradition among the guards who serve at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Whenever they salute a commissioned officer they say in a loud voice. “Line six, sir!” That is a reference to line six of the Sentinel’s Creed. In 99 words this creed captures what it means to be a guard at the
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 27, 2008
PONY EXPRESS
When it comes to being on the alert and ready at any moment to do the job, it's hard to beat the Pony Express.
This historically famous mail service between St. Joseph, Missouri, and California depended on constant movement and readiness.
Relay stations were established every ten
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Jun 15, 2008
IN HIS BOOK THE GOSPEL AS IT REALLY IS STUART OLYOTT GIVES THE ILLUSTRATION OF A MAN WALKING DOWN A LANE BY NIGHT WHO FALLS INTO A PUDDLE OF MUD . HE DIDN’T REALISE HOW DIRTY HE WAS UNTIL HE BEGAN TO REACH THE STREET LIGHT . THE NEARER HE CAME TO THE LIGHT THE MORE HE BECAME AWARE OF HIS FILTH
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by John Boquist on Jul 25, 2008
HOPE IS CERTAIN, NOT UNCERTAIN
Our use of the word "hope" is usually based on uncertainty. Suppose an engaged couple says, "We have an outdoor wedding planned for Saturday; we hope it doesn't rain." In saying this, they are saying that the possibility of rain is there, but their preference is for
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Nov 24, 2008
While still a young man, a certain Christian formed the habit of praying beside his bed before he went to sleep. Later, when he joined the army, he kept up this practice, though he became an object of mockery and ridicule in the barracks. One night, as he knelt to pray after a long, weary march,
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Anne Benefield on Jan 15, 2009
The first time I had to speak in public was when I was in fourth grade. The elementary school I attended was part of the college down the street from my house. I think I was a shepherd in the college's presentation of "Amahl and the Night Visitors."
I was pretty nervous--scared, really--about
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 19, 2009
Walking with God can be a great source of Eustress (positive stress)…
example: Some of you this week found time in your crazy schedule to listen to or read your Bible. How did you feel afterward?
It’s Wednesday night, and you help with AWANA. It’s been a busy day and you’re tired. But you
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Jan 26, 2009
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WHAT WOULD YOU THINK?
What would you think if I said, "We’ve decided that sometimes, instead of having praise and worship music, we’re going to listen to Marilyn Manson? And sometimes instead of celebrating the Lord’s Supper with bread and juice, we’ll celebrate it with Jack Daniel’s. And why not
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 26, 2009
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I DON’T REMEMBER
An elderly man moved into a retirement community. It wasn’t long until he had made a number of friends among the other residents. There was one lady he was especially attracted to and she was attracted to him, also. They spent a lot of time together. Finally one evening he
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