A LOT BETTER JOB
A little girl crawled up into her great grandmother's lap one day. And looking up into her great grandmother's face she saw all those lines and wrinkles.
Then she felt her own smooth skin. She said to her great grandmother, "Did God make you?"
Her great grandmother said,
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Sep 2, 2011
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE...
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and
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Baptist
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 4, 2011
THE HERE...AFTER
A vicar was talking to one of his parishioners. He said, "When you get to my age you spend a lot more time thinking about the hereafter."
"Why do you say that?" enquires the parishioner.
The vicar replies, "Well, I
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Denomination:
Brethren
WHITENING FAST
When Dr. Rees was waiting to preach, a friend commended to him, "You sure are whitening fast!" He got up and said this from the pulpit: "There is a little white flower that comes up through the earth at this season of the year - sometimes it comes up through the snow and frost; but
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Tim Smith on Feb 19, 2012
50-SOMETHINGS FOR JESUS
At the age of 58, Tom and Elaine Samply cashed out their retirements and moved to the Czech Republic and opened a coffee shop called Common Grounds where he taught business principles to atheists. After they were there for six years, they had enough business that they
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Scott Jensen on Mar 29, 2012
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE...
When Oliver Wendell Holmes was still on the U.S. Supreme Court, he and Justice Louis Brandeis took walks every afternoon. On one of these occasions Holmes, then ninety-two, paused to gaze in frank admiration at a beautiful young girl who passed them. He even turned to look
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 20, 2012
CURING NAIL-BITING
Talking of bad habits I did hear the story of an elderly couple. The wife proudly boasted that "she had cured her husband of biting his nails."
When someone asked her, "How did you manage
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Denomination:
Brethren
Contributed by Perry Greene on Jan 29, 2013
NO GREEN BANANAS
Approaching 85 years of age, Mrs. Wells finally decided it was time to give up her home in North Carolina and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami, extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at.
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 3,567 views
"A new road before usa new road to take, A new dream to dream, and a new life to make. A new star to followa new faith to hold, A new world to build, on the dust of the old. A New Year is here with a message for all, A message of Hope, though the shadows may fall. The
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Contributed by Guy Caley on Apr 1, 2002
based on 61 ratings
| 3,571 views
Good News/Bad News for Chaplains
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Protestant Women of the Chapel voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: Your Chapel Council
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 11, 2007
based on 3 ratings
| 2,880 views
"To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle requires creative
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Contributed by Shane Hargrave on Aug 4, 2009
based on 1 rating
| 4,208 views
ECONOMY: GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS
A farmer went to his banker and announced that he had bad news and good news. "First, the bad news..." "Well," said the farmer, "I can't make my mortgage payments. And that crop loan I've taken out for the past 10 years--I can't pay that off, either. Not only that,
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Errol Joseph on Jul 16, 2001
based on 157 ratings
| 2,005 views
The Encarta Encyclopedia defines aging as the “irreversible biological changes that occur in all living things with the passage of time, eventually resulting in death.”
In developed nations, life expectancy has increased more in the 20th century than it has in all of recorded history. A person
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
based on 7 ratings
| 4,580 views
Illustration: Old Age -Fruit of God
A young man came to a man of ninety years of age and said to him, "How have you made out to live so long and be so well?" The old man took the youngster to an orchard, and, pointing to some large trees full of apples, said, "I planted these trees when I was a
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
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