Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 30, 2007
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“I’m so depressed and I can’t get any dates,” the 300-pound man told his minister. “I’ve tried everything to lose weight.”
“I think I can help,” said the minister. “Be dressed and ready to go tomorrow at 8 a.m.”
Next morning, a beautiful woman in a skintight exercise suit knocked on the man’s door.
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Nathan Johnson on Nov 29, 2007
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Several years ago in Chicago, Joseph Kratzle, a service elevator operator in an apartment house, recovered two checks for $114,000 that had been lost by the tenant in the apartment house where he worked. His reward was a fifteen cent tip and a solicitous offer to put iodine on the cuts on his hands
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Mar 25, 2008
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Speaking of getting the log out, a wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOODNESS! You’re cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. WHERE
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Opening Illustration: Show the wine skin – explain the meaning of Jesus teaching here to the church.
The teaching is simple – you cannot put new wine in to old wineskins because the old worn out skins will burst and the new wine will be lost. Instead there needs to be new wine and a new skin to
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Timothy Darling on Mar 20, 2009
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THE UNJUST JUDGE
In 1964 when Muhammad Ali made his professional boxing debut, he was still known by his birth name of Cassius Clay. He won his bout against Sonny Liston with a Technical Knockout. Liston sustained injuries during the first 6 rounds of the bout and at the beginning of the 7th round
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Denomination:
Mennonite
SEPARATE: STAYING IN RANKS
The word "separate" is a military term, and it means to "stay in ranks." My son Jason just graduated from an intensive 9-week school for Drill Sergeants (we Brownworths never seem to finish going to school!). He will now be responsible for training as many as 240 "raw"
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Denomination:
United Methodist
Contributed by Ken Pell on Nov 2, 2009
Bruce Longenecker’s book, “The Lost Letters of Pergamum” (pp. 165-166) illustrates their teaching in a story about a Nicolaitan (Kalandion) that attended the Pergamum church. Kalandion is visiting a Christian who has been imprisoned for his faith.
“Kalandion had already visited him on several
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Denomination:
Nazarene
Have you ever experienced the power of healing words that were either spoken to you or that you spoke to another? We must admit that there are also times when our actions speak louder than words. “Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once told about a contest he was asked to judge. The
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Denomination:
United Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on May 10, 2002
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The Bricklayer (True Insurance Claim)
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that
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Sermon Central