In Sermon Illustrations: "Long Sermons"

A Man Was Watching The News One Night When It ...  PRO

Contributed by Mark Sutherlin on Jun 5, 2001

A man was watching the news one night when it was reported that a car was going the wrong direction on the freeway. The man knew his wife was on that freeway and became very concerned so called her on her cell phone. She answered and he said, "Dear, there’s one car going ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 14:12

Tags: Assurance Of Salvation, Universalism, Sermon On The Mount

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

An Overwhelming Thirst  PRO

Contributed by David Yarbrough on Jan 28, 2002

AN OVERWHELMING THIRST During the liberation of Palestine in WWI, a combined force of British, Australian, and New Zealand soldiers was closely pursuing the Turks as they retreated from the desert. As the allied troops moved northward past Beersheba they began to outdistance their water-carrying ...read more

Scripture: John 7:37-38

Tags: Discipleship, Lordship Of Christ, Sermon On The Mount

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Shine

Contributed by Davon Huss on May 21, 2002

SHINE Dull as dirt You can’t assert the kind of light that might persuade a strict dictator to retire, fire the army, teach the poor origami. The truth is in the proof is when you hear your heart start asking, "What’s my motivation?" And try as you may, there isn’t a way to explain the ...read more

Tags: Love Of The Disciples, Sermon On The Mount, Supernatural

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Gentle Gain  PRO

Contributed by Jonathan Busch on Feb 2, 2003

THE GENTLE GAIN “In our rough-and-rugged individualism, we think of gentleness as weakness, being soft, and virtually spineless. Not so! ... Gentleness includes such enviable qualities as having strength under control, being calm and peaceful when surrounded by a heated atmosphere, emitting a ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:5

Tags: Christian Love, Sermon On The Mount, Meekness

Denomination: Pentecostal

Five Thousand Fishes And Two Thousand Loves?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 6, 2022

• A young preacher graduated from Bible College and was invited back to his home congregation to preach a sermon. He wanted to make a good impression. He did his best to prepare to preach to his home church. He wrote his sermon word for word and memorized it. He had a very dramatic beginning to the ...read more

Scripture: John 6:1-14

Tags: Jesus, Miracles, Sermons, Preacher Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Alex Navalny - Russian Dissident

Contributed by Dr. Fred W. Penney on Feb 19, 2024

Russian opposition leader and outspoken Christian, Alexei Navalny. Navalny voluntarily returned to Russia - knowing he would be arrested and imprisoned. Navalny, 47, dies while serving a 19-year sentence in a penal colony north of the Arctic Circle. In Navalny’s closing statement during his 2021 ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:6

Tags: Righteousness, Sermon On The Mount, Sacrifice, Integrity

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Horrid French Pun

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025

A young cook in France, Jean Luc, decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. Jean Luc searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old ...read more

Scripture: Mark 10:10-12, Zechariah 14:7

Tags: Unique, Complex, Joke, Pun, Sermon Into  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

How Deer Become Thirsty

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 30, 2020

There are 2 times when a deer develops tremendous thirst - one is when he is running from danger, the other is when he is facing an opponent in combat. When he is hunted, he will take to the river and stay submerged as long as he can hold his breath. He will then swim downstream in the middle so ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:1-12, Psalm 42:2

Tags: Psalms, Worship, Deer, Hungry For God, Longing For God, Thirsting For God  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jesus Calls Us To His Rest, And Meekness Is His ...  PRO

Contributed by Paul Kuzma on Jan 2, 2002

“Jesus calls us to His rest, and meekness is his method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. The rest Christ offers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:5

Tags: Peace, Meekness, Sermon On The Mount, God Brings Hope

Denomination: Foursquare

At Least 75 Christians Killed In Manila Hotel ...  PRO

Contributed by Paul Fritz on Aug 29, 2001

At Least 75 Christians Killed In Manila Hotel Fire August 20, 2001 By: Stefan J. Bos Eastern Europe Correspondent for ASSIST News Service MANILA, PHILIPPINES -- (ANS) -- An early morning fire that swept through a suburban Manilla hotel Saturday has killed at least 75 people, mostly participants at ...read more

Tags: Sermon On The Mount, Christian Disciplines, Attributes, Doubt

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

On October 2, 1864, One Of The Worst Battles Of ...  PRO

Contributed by Terry Dashner on Dec 21, 2001

On October 2, 1864, one of the worst battles of the American Civil War was fought. 2800 Confederate soldiers squared off against 4500 Union soldiers. The battle is forever recorded in American history as one of the worst atrocities that has ever occurred on US soil. After a day of intense fighting, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:13

Tags: Sermon On The Mount, Love Of The Disciples, Life, Truth

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Humility To Listen  PRO

Contributed by John Williams Iii on Apr 19, 2002

THE HUMILITY TO LISTEN Several years ago, a Greensboro, North Carolina, newspaper carried a story about a tractor-trailer rolling along on a side street in a southern city. The driver came to a low bridge and misjudged the height of his rig. When the truck came to a stop, it was wedged tightly ...read more

Tags: Sermon On The Mount, Jesus Christ, Love Of The Disciples

Denomination: United Methodist

September 11th, 2001 Just Past 9:00am, Stanley ...  PRO

Contributed by James Botts on Sep 10, 2002

September 11th, 2001 just past 9:00am, Stanley Praimnath, Vice President for Fuji Bank, was in his office in the South Tower at WTC when his phone rang. “Are you watching the news?’ asked a woman the Chicago office. “Are you alright?” “I’m fine” he said wondering why she had called. Just then he ...read more

Scripture: Jude 1:24

Tags: Forgiveness In Jesus, Sermon On The Mount, What Is Evangelism?

Denomination: Baptist

There’s An Old Story Of A Man Who Was ...  PRO

Contributed by Clark Tanner on Jan 6, 2001

There’s an old story of a man who was walking at night, and saw another man searching for something near a lamp post. Approaching, he asked the man what he was looking for, and the man, without looking up, replied, “My watch”. The first man asked, “Well, precisely where were you standing when ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 1:5-10

Tags: Knowing God's Will, Love Of The Disciples, Sermon On The Mount

Denomination: Orthodox

Who Would Ever Dream Of Amputating His Own Leg? ...  PRO

Contributed by Mark Haines on Jan 20, 2001

Who would ever dream of amputating his own leg? Nobody-- unless that person had lost his mind or was faced with the grim choice of losing either his leg or his life. That was Bill Jeracki’s terrible predicament, according to The Denver Post, when he was out fishing alone in the foothills of the ...read more

Tags: Christian Disciplines, Death, Mountain, Sermon On The Mount

Denomination: Wesleyan

When God Says...what?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 14, 2014

A young preacher in Ft. Worth, Texas was trying to make an impression on a Pastor Search Team who had come to his church to hear him preach. The young man was preaching on the time in the Old Testament when God had enough with His disobedient people and finally said to them, "Ichabod!", which ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 4:21

Tags: Glory Of God, Sermon Bloopers, Mistakes, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Talking Dog For Sale!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Oct 13, 2024

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees an old black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 12:22, Colossians 3:9, Exodus 20:16

Tags: Truth, Lies, Deceit, Dogs, Sermon Introductions  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Parrot Named Moses

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 14, 2021

A PARROT NAMED MOSES A thief broke into a beautiful suburban house and was looking around for things to steal when he heard a voice say, “Better be careful…Jesus is watching you!” He stopped for a moment and heard it again… The surprised thief froze in his tracks and looked around, shining the ...read more

Tags: Moses, Humor, Jesus Is Watching, Sermon Opener

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Things That Mom Would Never Say!!!!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on May 5, 2022

THINGS THAT MOM WOULD NEVER SAY.... 1) “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” 2) “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot myself when I was your age!” 3) “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.” 4) “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introductions, Humor, Mothers, Mother's Day

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Come Anyway (No Excuse Sunday)

Contributed by Roberta Karchner on Nov 7, 2020

To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday": • We will provide pillows to nap for those who need the extra sleep on Sunday morning. • We will have extra cushions for those who feel that our pews are too hard. ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 24:18

Tags: Commitment, Faithfulness, Attendance, Sunday Morning

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed