In Sermon Illustrations: "jokes" showing 301-320 of 368

A Lesson From A Pair Of Mildewed Shoes

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 22, 2020

A number of years ago I received a three-year assignment to Okinawa, Japan, as part of my Air Force experience. Hardly anybody I knew had much knowledge of that part of the world, so we really had no idea what to expect. We were in for a number of surprises! We lived in a motel, basically, for a ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 6:33-34

Tags: Shoes, Life's Problems

Denomination: Baptist

To One It’s Monday To Another It’s Wednesday

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 11, 2020

Time goes so fast at times that I do not always remember what day it is. I get so busy trying to get my work done that I forget if it’s Monday or Friday. It is a good thing I am getting older because I have a built-in excuse for forgetting what day it is. Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 15:13

Tags: Happiness, Joy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What It Was, Was A Peach Tree

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 15, 2020

For some reason, this week, I had been thinking of my maternal grandfather. I was named after him, and therefore we had a connection. I was thinking about him because this month I turned the same age as he was when he passed. I hope there's no connection there. As a young boy, I would spend a ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23

Tags: Faith, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doing Nothing Is Harder Than I Thought

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 29, 2020

After being so long in a lockdown situation, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage planned a short vacation time for us. It took her quite a while to put all of the pieces together, but she succeeded as always. As I was preparing for this little adventure, my wife looked at me and said, ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:31

Tags: Vacation, Holiday

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Be Careful What You Smile About

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 20, 2021

Dr. James L. Snyder I am a student of smileology and have been just about all my life. If you can't smile at something, it's not worth thinking about. Of course, certain things in life are serious, but not that many. Too many people take everything seriously and ruin their life. These are ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5

Tags: Humor, Facebook, Lockedout

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Where Do Wrinkles Come From?

Contributed by James Snyder on Jun 12, 2021

Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for being there. According to the eye doctor, and doctors are never wrong, I now have 2020 vision. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 5:8

Tags: Plastic Surgery, Wrinkles

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doctors Are Always Right

Contributed by James Snyder on May 21, 2022

Last year I suffered what is referred to as a heart attack. I got to the hospital in time, so there was no any major damage. I had one artery known as the "Widow Maker" that was 90% blocked, which seemed to be a very serious thing. Who knew I even had a heart, but doctors are always ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:9

Tags: Medical, Doctors

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What A Wacky World We Live In

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 1, 2023

I like the old saying, “Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.” This is the kind of world we live in today, and I’m still not adjusted to this sort of thing. I’m not sure I will ever adjust to the world around me. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I will be watching the ...read more

Tags: David, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Memories Can Be So Memorable

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 19, 2023

In growing older, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The older I get, the more I forget. I remember things that happened in my youth and the pressure of those memories is, are they true, or am I just making them up? I have nobody to verify those memories. I don’t think I will try to verify those ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-11

Tags: Memory, Weddings

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

You Break It, You Fix It

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 19, 2024

Every once in a while, I hear or see something that reminds me of my father. He’s been gone for over 15 years, but his memory is still fresh in my mind. His most famous saying, that I remember, was, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” He lived that to the very end of his ...read more

Scripture: James 1:5-6

Tags: Wisdom, Fixing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Moses, Aaron And Hur Went To The Top Of The Hill. ...  PRO

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Aug 14, 2003

Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 5:11

Tags: Jesus Christ, Lordship Of Christ

Denomination: Lutheran

There Are Going To Be Things Happen To You In ...  PRO

Contributed by Timothy Smith on Jul 19, 2004

There are going to be things happen to you in this life that will make you cling to that eternal hope because there is no other. Wally and Barbara Rendel know that’s true. Wally is the minister at the Southern Acres Christian Church in Lexington and has been for over 20 years. But five years ago ...read more

Tags: Easter Resurrection

Denomination: Christian Church

Steve Lyons Will Be Remembered As The Player Who ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2006

Steve Lyons will be remembered as the player who dropped his pants. He could be remembered as an outstanding infielder ... as the player who played every position for the Chicago White Sox ... as the guy who always dove into first base ... as a favorite of the fans who high fived the guy who ...read more

Scripture: John 20:19-31

Tags: Sin General, Abandon

The Compassion Of Jesus Makes A Funeral A ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 10, 2010

The Compassion of Jesus Makes a Funeral a Celebration When I was in the 5th grade and we lived above the funeral home in Pawnee, there was no street celebration, no brass band or snare drum or festive umbrellas but the funeral for Rev Sonious’ wife was something to behold. Just months before she ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Tags: Funerals Christian

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn  PRO

Contributed by Terry Laughlin on Aug 11, 2008

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn One of the greatest messages ever proclaimed was delivered by Jesus Christ and is referred to as the "Sermon on the Mount." His message is as relevant today as it was when it was first spoken. Our Lord opens this message not with a joke, but with the Beatitudes. The ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:4

Tags: Character

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

An Amusing Sight!

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Sep 2, 2023

An Amusing Sight! Use as an Icebreaker. Ron, Billy, a Dodge Truck and a Red Lawnmower Humorous story, in which you can change the names to fit a couple of guys from your congregation. Make sure you get their permission to joke about them. We know how thin skinned some people are. Lead in... As you ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Job 8:21, Psalm 65:12-13, Psalm 96:12, Proverbs 15:13, Proverbs 31:25  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Laughter, Icebreaker, Funny Story, Trucks, Bikes, Lighten Up, Joy, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

What’s Pete Got To Do With Anything?

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 20, 2021

If there's anybody that can be conned, it's Yours Truly. It's not so much that I'm stupid; I'm just naïve. I believe when somebody says something, they mean exactly what they say. So, if you can't swindle me, you might as well hang it up and get a real job. I must ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 3:12-13

Tags: Blame, Accusations

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

From Roast Turkey To Reindeer

Contributed by James Snyder on Dec 9, 2023

Nothing is more confusing than being in the middle of two holidays. I have just finished Thanksgiving, and now Christmas is before me. Each year, it gets more difficult to adjust to the next holiday. It’s hard for me to keep up. For months, the focus was on that roast turkey for Thanksgiving. And ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Turkey, Reindeer, Christmas, Thanksgiving

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Let Go Of That Balloon! (07.08.05--Joy Every ...

Contributed by Mark Brunner on Jul 6, 2005

Let Go of That Balloon! (07.08.05--Joy Every Day--Ecclesiastes 11:1-6) Carpe diem! Engraved in the keystone of the old fellowship hall I passed every day on my way to the office, I had glanced at it countless times. But on this particular day, with my youngest daughter in the car, her question ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 11:1-6

Tags: Joy

Denomination: Lutheran

It Was Late And I Was Tired. I Checked Into A ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 3, 2008

It was late and I was tired. I checked into a hotel in Waco, Texas. I hurriedly went to my room and went to sleep. The next morning I felt wonderful. The morning was bright and sunny. I laced up my shoes, waved goodbye to the desk clerk, and took off through the neighborhood. The run back to ...read more