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In Sermon Illustrations: "Ill Timed"

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  • Some Of You May Have Heard Of Brother Lawrence, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Mar 9, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,992 views

    Some of you may have heard of Brother Lawrence, who in the 15th century penned the work “Practice the Presence of God”. When he was dying, he was asked, “What are you doing, Brother Lawrence?” His reply, “I’m doing what I plan to do through all eternity - worship God. When I die I won’t change ...read more

  • Suppose I Gave You An Automobile Valued At ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Wood on Jun 23, 2005
    based on 10 ratings
     | 2,337 views

    Suppose I gave you an automobile valued at $50,000. I say to you, "I’ll give it to you if you just give me $1." You say, "I thought you were going to give it to me." That’s not a gift. It might be cheap, but it’s not a gift. It is the result of your payment. If I am saved by the grace of God ...read more

  • In The Operating Room Of A Large Hospital, A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,445 views

    In the operating room of a large hospital, a young nurse was completing her first full day of responsibilities. “You’ve only removed 11 sponges, doctor,” she said to the surgeon. “We used 12.” “I removed them all,” the doctor declared. “We’ll close the incision now.” “No,” the nurse objected. “We ...read more

  • Walking Up To A Department Store's Fabric ...  PRO

    Contributed by Pat Damiani on Jun 20, 2006
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,756 views

    Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, an attractive young woman said, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. Not to be taken back by the harassment, the woman said, "That’s fine! I’ll take ten ...read more

  • I'm Going To Give You A Quick Quiz. Don't Worry, ...

    Contributed by Brian Stevenson on Nov 24, 2006
     | 2,551 views

    I’m going to give you a quick quiz. Don’t worry, it’s easy! I’ll give you a word and you give me the opposite. READY? The opposite of Fast is… Slow. The opposite of Long is… Short. The opposite of Cold is… Hot. The opposite of Young is… Old. The opposite of Soft is… Hard. The opposite of Sour ...read more

  • An Interview With Tia And Tamara Mowry, The ...

    Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Nov 13, 2003
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,815 views

    An interview with Tia and Tamara Mowry, the stars of WB’s Sister, Sister yielded a very mature comment from these then 19 years old. One of them said (they’re exact twins); “A lot of girls expect this prince to come into their life on a white horse and make everything wonderful. What the Lord told ...read more

  • The Trouble With Money  PRO

    Contributed by Andrew Chan on May 2, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,761 views

    Illustration: The Trouble with Money Guys, just remember, if you get lucky, if you make a lot of money, if you get out and buy a lot of stuff--it’s gonna break. You got your biggest,fanciest mansion in the world. It has air conditioning. It’s got a pool. Just think of all the pumps that are going ...read more

  • Wilhelm Busch Once Said, "To Become A Mother Is ...  PRO

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Sep 6, 2004
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,336 views

    Wilhelm Busch once said, “To become a mother is not so difficult; on the other hand, being a mother is very much so!” (Taken from Proclaim, “A Mother’s Day Sermon,” May 14, 1989). Concerning that statement, a preacher asked, “So, with all those qualifications, why bother with Mother’s Day at all? ...read more

  • Asking Everywhere  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 1, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,814 views

    ASKING EVERYWHERE As hopeless as her situation must have seemed, she was persistent. The language of verse three (present tense verb) indicated that every day she begged him for help. “The language leaves open the possibility of confrontation everywhere, not just in the court. She pleaded with ...read more

  • My Daughter Came Home From School One Day With ...  PRO

    Contributed by Shawn Rose on Nov 28, 2004
    based on 4 ratings
     | 1,465 views

    My daughter came home from school one day with tears in her eyes. "Tori said that she won’t be my friend unless I sit with her on the bus." Just like that, a seven year old had placed conditions on a friendship that should have been unconditional. Sometimes we forget that Jesus loves us ...read more

  • Charles Hadden Spurgeon: Worry /Fear

    Contributed by Richard Sharp on May 14, 2007
     | 2,488 views

    ILL- Charles Hadden Spurgeon- worry /fear Charles Hadden Spurgeon, a great 19th century preacher, once said that he worried for weeks before a speaking engagement, even to the extent of hoping he would break a leg and miss the event . When he finally entered the pulpit to speak , he was ...read more

  • And Since We Work Hard And Live So Affluently As ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Oct 8, 2007
     | 809 views

    And since we work hard and live so affluently as part of the American Empire, when prices rise or we lose our jobs or another company makes a “run for the border” or gas prices hit $3.00 a gallon, most of us don’t consider God. He may be a peripheral idea. Out here on the edges of consciousness but ...read more

  • Last Chance  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 13, 2009
    based on 23 ratings
     | 5,928 views

    LAST CHANCE When Bishop Philip Brooks, author of "O, Little Town of Bethlehem," was seriously ill, he requested no friends come to see him. But when an acquaintance of his named Robert Ingersoll, a famous anti-Christian propagandist, came to see him he allowed him to come in right away. Ingersoll ...read more

  • Standing Out

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Feb 23, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,847 views

    STANDING OUT I remember an experience as a 16-year-old, Salvation Army soldier. I was walking to the church from my house for Bible study. In those days, soldiers wore uniforms to every church function. On route to the church, there were 12 or 15 peers hanging outside the pool hall that I had to ...read more

  • The Church's Greatest Troublemakers  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 6, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,504 views

    THE CHURCH'S GREATEST TROUBLEMAKERS Preacher and Bible commentator, John Stott, said this in his exposition of Paul's letter to the Galatians: "To tamper with the gospel is to trouble the church... Indeed the church's greatest troublemakers (now as then) are not those outside who oppose, ridicule ...read more

  • Religion Says "Try” But The Gospel ...

    Contributed by Brandon Park on Jan 31, 2010
     | 3,051 views

    Religion says “Try” but the gospel says “trust.” Religion says, “Pay me what you owe,” the gospel says, “I’ll pay what you owe” Religion says, “Live for God,” the gospel says, “Live through God.” Religion says, “Obey the law,” but the gospel says, “Obey the Lord” Religion says “Do,” but the gospel ...read more

  • A Missionary In The South Sea Islands For A ...

    Contributed by Tim Spear on Dec 3, 2012
     | 1,854 views

    A missionary in the South Sea Islands for a number of years was lying on his back in several inches of water reaching up in his boat, trying to repair the inboard motor. He had to get in that position to fix it, and it was a dirty, hot, scummy business. This doctor was lying there doing that so he ...read more

  • The 5 Biggest Mistakes That Threaten ...  PRO

    Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Feb 4, 2012
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,642 views

    THE 5 BIGGEST MISTAKES THAT THREATEN RELATIONSHIPS Dr. Edward Hallowell and his wife, Sue, authors of Married to Distraction: Restoring Intimacy and Strengthening Your Marriage in an Age of Distraction, teach you how to spot hidden distractions in your relationship and reveal the mistakes you may ...read more

  • Giving Out Of Need

    Contributed by Glynda Lomax on Dec 27, 2014
     | 3,952 views

    “Hunger also changes the world when eating can’t be a habit, then neither can seeing.” - Maxine Hong Kingston It had been a tough year and it didn’t appear to be getting any easier. She wasn’t working and he wasn’t working much. They had two teenage children to feed and bills to pay. The car ...read more

  • My Mother And My ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 12, 2009
     | 3,427 views

    MY MOTHER AND MY FRIENDS (Excerpted from Simple Treasures - Garnet Hunt White. Stories for a Woman’s Heart, p. 187.) The Prov. 31 woman has grateful children – “Her children stand and bless her” (Prov. 31:28 NLT). Mother accepted my friends as they were, and they loved her for it. They liked the ...read more