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In Sermon Illustrations: "Ill Timed"

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  • I Once Saw The Concrete Block Shell Of A Church ...  PRO

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Sep 29, 2004
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,503 views

    I once saw the concrete block shell of a church someone had started building years earlier. The project had been halted. There was no roof on the building and trees and shrubs had grown inside the shell. One of the pine trees growing inside the uncompleted church was at least 15 feet tall. I’ll ...read more

  • At Sunday School They Were Teaching How God ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 3,226 views

    At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ...read more

  • I Tend To Be A Tosser – When Something ...

    Contributed by Floyd Johnson on Nov 29, 2006
     | 1,346 views

    (Ill.) I tend to be a tosser – when something doesn’t work, I will toss it out, I will buy a replacement. So when the lawn mower stops working, I take it out to the garbage and go buy a new one. But we have a neighbor who is wonderfully skilled in repairing things. So he will come out and grab ...read more

  • It Was A Cold Winter's Night. The Wind Was ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 4,146 views

    It was a cold winter’s night. The wind was howling and a bone chilling rain was falling when the telephone rang at the home of a doctor. The man that was calling said that his wife needed urgent medical attention. The doctor was very understanding and said, "Sir, I’ll be glad to come and see what I ...read more

  • Little Pigs, Little Pigs Let Me In. Not By The ...

    Contributed by Matthew Koscielski on Jun 23, 2007
     | 1,420 views

    Little pigs, little pigs let me in. Not by the hair of our chiny, chin, chin. Then I’ll huff and puff and blow your house in. So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed, and blew the house of the second pig in. So off they ran......... I give you this question. “My little pigs, when the Big Bad Wolf, ...read more

  • I Grew Up In Indiana And There Were A Lot ...

    Contributed by Steven Wunderink on Jul 3, 2007
     | 904 views

    Ill. I grew up in Indiana and there were a lot of tornados that went through our farm. I remember one in particular where all eight of us kids and my mother and father huddled in the basement waiting for one to pass. My oldest brother remembered something that needed to be tied down or something ...read more

  • Bob Russell Told A Story About A Rich Man Who ...  PRO

    Contributed by Thomas Cash on Aug 20, 2007
    based on 5 ratings
     | 2,576 views

    Bob Russell told a story about a rich man who was determined to take his wealth with him. He told his wife to get all his money together, put it in a sack, and then hang the sack from the rafters in the attic. He said, "When my spirit is caught up to heaven, I’ll grab the sack on my way." Well he ...read more

  • Do You Remember When Magic Johnson Announced He ...  PRO

    Contributed by Carl Kolb on Jan 5, 2008
    based on 4 ratings
     | 1,651 views

    • Do you remember when Magic Johnson announced he had AIDS? He vowed to use that tragedy to promote AIDS awareness. While we might be able to commend him for using his illness for a creative, positive purpose, don’t you think it would have been better for him to stress to young people the real ...read more

  • If You Need Anything...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 17, 2009
     | 1,193 views

    "IF YOU NEED ANYTHING..." A wealthy man was moving into a new house, and his next door neighbor just happened to be a Quaker. The Quakers, as you know, believe in simplicity and plainness of life. The Quaker neighbor watched as the movers carted in numerous pieces of furniture, a great deal of ...read more

  • Who Did You Come To Worship?

    Contributed by Jun Suyat on Apr 25, 2011
     | 2,024 views

    WHO DID YOU COME TO WORSHIP? Henry Ward Beecher was one of the great preachers of the 19th Century. He was ill one Sunday, so a substitute pastor walked up to the pulpit as the worship service began. Seeing that Dr. Beecher would not be speaking that day, a number of people got up and headed for ...read more

  • The Egg Promise

    Contributed by Perry Greene on Mar 7, 2013
     | 7,622 views

    THE EGG PROMISE Two brothers were getting ready to boil some eggs. "I’ll give you a dollar if you let me break three of these on your head," said the older one. "Promise?" asked the younger. "Promise!" Gleefully, the older boy broke two eggs over his brother’s head. Standing stiff for fear ...read more

  • Eusebius On Christian Compassion  PRO

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Sep 2, 2013
    based on 5 ratings
     | 4,202 views

    EUSEBIUS ON CHRISTIAN COMPASSION The Christian conquest of the Roman Empire came not by the sword, but by the preaching of the gospel joined with acts of compassion. In the middle of the 3rd century AD there was a terrible plague and many died. The pagans and doctors left the cities to avoid ...read more

  • No Substitutions

    Contributed by Peter Loughman on Apr 21, 2009
     | 2,985 views

    NO SUBSTITUTIONS We had been living in New Jersey for about three weeks and were wanting to try out different things to get the "East Coast" experience. We both grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, and honestly, New Jersey was a complete mystery to us. Some friends recommended that we eat at a ...read more

  • I Like The Story About A Rather Legalistic ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 14, 2001
    based on 130 ratings
     | 2,718 views

    ILL. I like the story about a rather legalistic Seminary student who wanted to have a scriptural basis for everything he did. He felt he was on solid ground if he could quote Bible book, chapter & verse to okay his actions. He did all right with that until he began to fall in love with a ...read more

  • This Is The Beginning Of Lent. Most People Are ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 24, 2004
    based on 13 ratings
     | 6,137 views

    This is the beginning of Lent. Most people are looking for things to give up for Lent. It you haven’t made up your mind maybe these will help. GIVE UP grumbling! Instead, "In everything give thanks." Constructive criticism is OK, but "moaning, groaning, and complaining" are not ...read more

  • Mothers Have Taught Us With Faithful Words Of ...  PRO

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Jun 1, 2006
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,487 views

    Mothers have taught us with faithful words of instruction (listen to some of these from a Mothers Day website) To Value A Job Well Done "If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." Time Travel "If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of ...read more

  • Jesus Christ Is About To Leave His Disciples. He ...

    Contributed by Chris Edmondson on Feb 4, 2007
     | 1,427 views

    Jesus Christ is about to leave his disciples. He is about to go. He tells them in 14:1, “Let not your heart be troubled; I am going to leave you to prepare a place for you. I will come again to receive you unto myself.” I have to go right now, though. The disciples had been walking with Jesus for ...read more

  • Tennessee Three-Kick Rule

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,721 views

    Tennessee Three-Kick Rule A NYC lawyer went duck hunting in the mountains of East Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was ...read more

  • When I Think Of The Book Of Ephesians, I Think Of ...

    Contributed by Gerald Albers on Nov 9, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,221 views

    When I think of the book of Ephesians, I think of the story of the woman who woke up one morning and as she saw her husband getting ready to leave for work she said, with a big smile on her face, “Honey, I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.” Her husband had a hard time remembering birthdays ...read more

  • The Old Rugged Cross

    Contributed by Brian Harvison on May 29, 2008
     | 2,338 views

    THE OLD RUGGED CROSS In 1913 George Bennard was struggling with a problem that caused him much suffering. His mind went back again and again to Christ’s anguish on the cross. This was the heart of the Gospel! The cross he pictured was no gold-covered icon. It was a rough, splintery thing, stained ...read more