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In Sermon Illustrations: "Ill Timed"

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  • The Million Dollar Brain

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,897 views

    The Million Dollar Brain There’s a story about a wealthy man who was terminally ill. The doctor said, "There’s only one thing that will save you. A brain transplant. It’s an experimental operation. And it’s very expensive." The wealthy guy said, "Money is no object. Can you get me a brain?" The ...read more

  • The Story Is Told Of Mother Tereasa Entering A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,022 views

    The story is told of Mother Tereasa entering a home for the gravely ill and dying. At one bedside was a young nun who was cleaning a gaping wound in the neck of a woman being devoured by maggots. The exposed flesh was covered with the squirming creatures, and the nun was removing them one by one, ...read more

  • I've Got Two Rings On My Hand Today. This One ...  PRO

    Contributed by Kevin Malone on Aug 26, 2007
    based on 9 ratings
     | 3,758 views

    I’ve got two rings on my hand today. This one is my wedding ring- 24 karat gold, very pure. The other is one my daughter got out of a gumball machine. It looks kind of gold but it is tin at best. The stone is pretty but I’m sure it’s made of plastic. Now which one of these is going to stand up ...read more

  • I Want To Tell You A Story. It Is The Story Of ...

    Contributed by Bob Joyce on Oct 10, 2007
     | 1,829 views

    I want to tell you a story. It is the story of the ill-fated Franklin expedition to the Arctic in 1845. That odyssey was a turning point in Arctic exploration because of its well-publicized failure. The preparations were made. The preparations were more suitable for the Royal Navy Officers Club in ...read more

  • Many Cry, "Peace, Peace" When There Is No Peace  PRO

    Contributed by Curtis Rowe on Dec 11, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,832 views

    Many cry, “Peace, peace when there is no peace.” Ill. Old First Church in the Court Square of Springfield is the oldest Church in the City. But, they have long ago departed from the Gospel and the Prince of Peace. For the last several year they have held a vigil to defend a woman’s right to choose ...read more

  • In The Whisperer Test Mary Ann Bird Writes, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Curtis Rowe on Dec 11, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,660 views

    Ill. In the Whisperer Test Mary Ann Bird writes, “I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it; I had a cleft pallet and a speech impediment. My second grade teacher was a short, round, happy, sparkling lady named Miss Leonard. Each year we had a hearing test and during that test she uttered ...read more

  • Do You Remember As A Kid Being On The Playground ...

    Contributed by Charles Whitmire on Jan 27, 2008
     | 1,469 views

    Do you remember as a kid being on the playground and choosing teams? I do... I hated it. Anytime we chose teams, I really hated it because I was small as a kid. I almost always got picked last. I wasn’t last, but I was one of the kids that was chose right near the end. “Okay, I’ll take Charles, you ...read more

  • The Lord's Army

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Feb 13, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,192 views

    The Hinsons sang: I’m enlisted as a soldier in this mighty army band, marching out to battle with my weapon in my hand, heard the captain give the orders and they don’t include retreat, We’re crossing o’er the border to a land of no defeat. Now tell me who’s gonna fight and who is gonna win, who’s ...read more

  • We Need Fixing

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 11, 2008
     | 2,225 views

    WE NEED FIXING There was a barber in a small local town who had been the only barber in town for years. Everyone went to this barber to get their hair cut. Then, one day a big hair salon franchise came to town and opened up shop. They advertised, "All Haircuts for $3.00" Slowly, the barber's ...read more

  • If You Tune The Second String Of Your Guitar, The ...

    Contributed by Glenn Durham on Aug 13, 2008
     | 4,867 views

    If you tune the second string of your guitar, the A string, to 440 hertz, then pluck it, the E string at 330 hertz will begin to vibrate also, because they share an overtone of 1320 hertz. It is called sympathetic vibrations. As you read this paragraph, Jesus is plucking the A string of mercy; does ...read more

  • Righteousness Credit

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Nov 16, 2008
     | 5,680 views

    RIGHTEOUSNESS CREDIT The meltdown in world wide economic markets is seen by many economists over the issue of the sub-prime mortgage failure in the United States. Basically, it revolves around giving credit to those who did not deserve it. You may have received in the mail those tantalizing ...read more

  • Gary Richmond, A Former Zookeeper, Had This To ...

    Contributed by Paul Carlson on Feb 17, 2009
     | 1,673 views

    Gary Richmond, a former zookeeper, had this to say: Raccoons go through a glandular change at about 24 months. After that they often attack their owners. Since a 30-pound raccoon can be equal to a 100-pound dog in a scrap, I felt compelled to mention the change coming to a pet raccoon owned by a ...read more

  • As Someone (Dr. Waights G. Henry, Jr.) Put It: ...

    Contributed by John Williams Iii on Aug 24, 2009
     | 3,612 views

    As someone (Dr. Waights G. Henry, Jr.) put it: “The past remains with us. For good or ill what we are is a result of what we have done.” To illustrate this point let us consider an example from the life of the Duke of Windsor. Someone asked him if they could show film taken from various segments ...read more

  • An Interesting Thing Happened One Day In A ...

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Dec 14, 2009
     | 1,516 views

    An interesting thing happened one day in a church where the great American businessman Samuel Colgate was a member. During an evangelistic campaign a prostitute came forward and confessed her sins. She was broken-hearted and wept openly. She asked God to save her soul and expressed a desire to join ...read more

  • Don't Hoard Water Or Giving

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Sep 4, 2010
     | 2,775 views

    DON'T HOARD WATER OR GIVING Years back I heard someone talk about the faucet principle … and I’ve discovered that it really works. If I turn on a faucet at my house, I have the entire contents of the Edwards Aquifer at my disposal. I don’t need to worry that if I run the water I’ll end up with a ...read more

  • No Need To Mention The ...

    Contributed by Bill Butsko on Oct 22, 2010
     | 2,639 views

    “No Need to Mention the Name!” One day, crossing a New York City street, a woman became confused, and stepped directly in front of an approaching streetcar. People on both curbs were sick with horror at her sure fate, when a powerful man rushed forward and not only rescued her from the streetcar, ...read more

  • Famous Last Words

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 31, 2021
     | 2,722 views

    FAMOUS LAST WORDS..... 1. Charles Gussman was a writer and TV announcer, who wrote the pilot episode of Days of Our Lives, among other shows. As he became ill, he said he wanted his last words to be memorable. When he daughter reminded him of this, he gently removed his oxygen mask and whispered: ...read more

  • Janis Joplin Died Of Loneliness.

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 1, 2021
     | 1,879 views

    On the 4th October 1970, the famed rock star Janis Joplin, at the age of 27 was found dead in her Los Angeles hotel room. Questions arose as to whether the cause of her tragic death was suicide or an accident. Later police reported that they located a small quantity of heroin in the rock singer’s ...read more

  • April 29, ...

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 20, 2006
     | 2,232 views

    April 29, 2003 Because Trent Dilfer is a public figure, the death Sunday of his 5-year-old son Trevin is news. It’s sad news. Even those critical of Dilfer the football player surely feel for Dilfer the man and his family. Five-year-olds aren’t supposed to die, they’re supposed to go to ...read more

  • My Tok Doesn’t Always Tik

    Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 15, 2025
     | 200 views

    Dr. James L. Snyder Throughout my life, I have always lived on a schedule. Every day is devoted to certain tasks, and it has worked for me so far. I know what day it is by what I am doing that day. Unlike The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I cannot multitask. I have to do one thing at a ...read more