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In Sermon Illustrations: "Ill Timed"

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  • The Date, March 28th. The Year, 1992. The ...

    Contributed by Chip Monck on Mar 9, 2005
     | 2,916 views

    The date, March 28th. The year, 1992. The place, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The moment seizer, and dare I say these words in a Kentucky pulpit, Christian Leattner. First ever player to start in four Final Fours. MVP of the East Regional of the NCAA tournament when he scored 31 points against ...read more

  • Two Baseball Teams Had Battled To A Five-All ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 15, 2005
     | 1,759 views

    Two baseball teams had battled to a five-all deadlock as darkness enveloped the diamond. In the last half of the ninth inning with the bases loaded and the count three and two, the pitcher called for a conference with the catcher. “I’ll wind up and pretend to throw the next pitch. You wham your ...read more

  • I Love You, Mother  PRO

    Contributed by Stephen Wright on Jan 8, 2006
    based on 9 ratings
     | 2,745 views

    "I love you, Mother," said little John; Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on, And he was off to the garden swing, Leaving his mother the wood to bring. "I love you, Mother," said little Nell; "I love you better than tongue can tell!" Then she teased and pouted half the day, Till Mother ...read more

  • Community Building In Analyzing 68 Npo's, The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 10, 2006
     | 1,936 views

    Community Building In analyzing 68 NPO’s, the Drucker Foundation for Nonprofit Management has uncovered 5 common success factors. (1) The ones who have results aim at results. They have a very clear definition of and concentration on what they are trying to accomplish. (2) They also abandon. They ...read more

  • Unconditional Love  PRO

    Contributed by Marc Carr on Aug 7, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 6,128 views

    Unconditional Love Floyd Landis, embroiled in a doping scandal since winning this year’s Tour de France, raised a Mennonite in Pennsylvania, leans on his mother for support. “She’s the one that no matter what happens, to me or to anyone else in life, she will remain unchanged,” he said. “When ...read more

  • She Says, He Says  PRO

    Contributed by John Shearhart on Jan 3, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,648 views

    When she says: “It’s your decision.” She really means, “The correct decision should be obvious by now.” “Do what you want.” She really means, “You’ll pay for this later.” “I’ll be ready in a minute. She really means, “Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.” “You have to learn to ...read more

  • I Have Found So Often In Testimony During ...

    Contributed by Bruce Landry on Jan 22, 2007
     | 1,405 views

    I have found so often in testimony during ministry that those who truly find their inner strength in Christ do so in unnerving weakness. This weakness is seen in illness, in sadness and sometimes when they feel vulnerable and alone. Yet, I God’s might strength is seen in their response to what ...read more

  • In The Movie "Return Of The Jedi" Luke Skywalker ...  PRO

    Contributed by Timothy Mills on Oct 24, 2002
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,129 views

    In the movie "Return of the Jedi" Luke Skywalker is learning to be a Jedi from the Jedi Master, Yoda. Luke is performing an exercise of mind over matter when he fails the exercise. Yoda tells him to raise his X-Wing fighter from the murky water where it sank upon his arrival on Degoba. He says ...read more

  • A Faithful Christian Soldier Went To His ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sean Smuts on Aug 4, 2003
    based on 5 ratings
     | 8,732 views

    A faithful Christian soldier went to his chaplain for advice. “Last night,” he said, “when I knelt by my bed and prayed, the fellows began to ridicule me and throw shoes at me. What should I do?” “Well,” said the chaplain, “why don’t you stop kneeling down? Just lie down in bed and lift your heart ...read more

  • Joy Comes From Doing What You Were Designed To ...  PRO

    Contributed by Rick Stacy on Oct 15, 2003
    based on 6 ratings
     | 1,661 views

    Joy comes from doing what you were designed to do. Have you ever driven a really cool car that was designed to run flat out on the road. Years ago I took my 65 Ford Falcon on a trip up north – no cars – just deer and jack pines for hundreds of square miles. I took it up to just shy of 100 mph ...read more

  • Grieving Person: It Is So Depressing Being Out ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 26, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,801 views

    Grieving Person: It is so depressing being out of work so long, sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. Not that I’m planning on committing suicide or anything, but this really gets me down. Right Response: I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. It is bad, and I would probably have ...read more

  • During College Days, A Man Did A Prank And ...  PRO

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Jun 22, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,257 views

    During college days, a man did a prank and accidentally took the life of a classmate. Although he had confessed his wrong to God and the case has been settled, he continued to be so torn up on the inside that he couldn’t keep a job or maintain a good relationship with his wife. But one day ...read more

  • Gary Richmond, A Former Zookeeper, Had This To ...  PRO

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Sep 6, 2004
    based on 9 ratings
     | 3,493 views

    Gary Richmond, a former zookeeper, had this to say: Raccoons go through a glandular change at about 24 months. After that they often attack their owners. Since a 30-pound raccoon can be equal to a 100-pound dog in a scrap, I felt compelled to mention the change coming to a pet raccoon owned by a ...read more

  • Let Me Read A Part Of The List That Several ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Oct 10, 2001
    based on 178 ratings
     | 4,527 views

    ILL. Let me read a part of the list that several housewives compiled. They wrote that they were especially thankful: "For automatic dishwashers because they make it possible for us to get out of the kitchen before the family comes back in for their after-dinner snacks. "For husbands ...read more

  • I'm So Important  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001
    based on 5 ratings
     | 1,936 views

    I'M SO IMPORTANT Former Secretary of Labor Raymond Donovan tells the story of being on Air Force One. He was in the back compartment of the jet while President Reagan was in the front of the compartment. The phone rang in the back compartment and the voice said, "Mr. Donovan, the president would ...read more

  • The Action Of Karma  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 18, 2002
    based on 9 ratings
     | 2,361 views

    THE ACTION OF KARMA The teaching of karma (literally translated the word means “action”) indicates that karma is something negative, the acting is wrong. Karma is something you must be released from. Karma is the reason for the poverty of the beggar; the illness of the sick, and the hopeless ...read more

  • There Once Was An Oyster  PRO

    Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 19, 2002
    based on 28 ratings
     | 1,987 views

    There once was an oyster whose story I tell, Who found that sand had got under his shell; Just one little grain, but it gave him much pain, For oysters have feelings although they’re so plain. Now, did he berate the working of Fate Which had led him to such a deplorable state? Did he curse ...read more

  • The Art Collector  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 11, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,819 views

    The Art Collector A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take. He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat ...read more

  • There Is A Story About A Vaccum Salesman Down In ...  PRO

    Contributed by Darrell Boone on Jul 17, 2002
    based on 20 ratings
     | 5,873 views

    There is a story about a vaccum salesman down in Tennesee. He was out in rural Tennesee. He had a his vacum cleaner and all of this tools and everything, and he went out there and he told a lady, "I’ve got the most exciting vacum cleaner you have ever seen. It will clean your house from top to ...read more

  • Christian Marriage

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 6,507 views

    Christian Marriage Story: A young courting couple approached the gates of Paradise and knocked on the door. St Peter appeared and beckoned them in. As the young man approached St Peter he said: “Before we come in can we ask: Can you get married in paradise?” St Peter replied. “I don’t know off ...read more