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In Sermon Illustrations: "I Cant"

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  • Is This "Normal?" Why Have We Accepted ...

    Contributed by Charles Wallis on Jan 30, 2008
     | 1,255 views

    Is this "Normal?" Why have we accepted dysfunction as normal? "Dear Annie: My husband and I are separated and he moved in with his girlfriend six weeks ago. A few weeks ago, I had to call the girlfriend’s husband in order to pass along some information. "Harris" and I met for dinner and haven’t ...read more

  • Checking On Himself

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Oct 24, 2008
     | 1,675 views

    CHECKING ON HIMSELF I’m reminded of a story of a grocery store owner who overheard a young boy using the pay phone at the entrance of his store. You know how telephone conversations are; you usually hear only one side of the conversation. The young boy was talking and the store manager was ...read more

  • Private Convictions

    Contributed by Hugh W. Davidson on Mar 13, 2009
     | 3,409 views

    PRIVATE CONVICTIONS When I worked in Toronto for a food processing plant, I believed we had the best products on the market. I would tell my customers that my products were worth the twenty cents a pound more than my competitors, because they were better, and I really believed they were. Then ...read more

  • God Is Not A Genie

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 4, 2010
     | 1,861 views

    GOD IS NOT A GENIE She was ferocious and yet frail. When I told her that I was a Chaplain she took the opportunity to bombard me with accusations and questions. "What is the use of prayer if God is going to let those 29 miners die anyway? All those good people prayed around the clock for those ...read more

  • Running From Sin

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 5, 2011
     | 5,132 views

    RUNNING FROM SIN The story is told of a young girl who accepted Christ as her Savior and applied for membership in a local church. "Were you a sinner before you received the Lord Jesus into your life?" inquired an old deacon. "Yes, sir," she replied. "Well, are you still a sinner?" "To tell ...read more

  • A Savior, Not An Example

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 12, 2011
     | 6,019 views

    A SAVIOR, NOT AN EXAMPLE D.M. Stearns was preaching in Philadelphia. At the close of the service a stranger came up to him and said, "I don’t like the way you spoke about the cross. I think that instead of emphasizing the death of Christ, it would be far better to preach Jesus, the teacher and ...read more

  • The Anglican Dog

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Oct 15, 2011
     | 2,930 views

    THE ANGLICAN DOG A man came to an Anglican Church and asked to see the Vicar. "Vicar," he said, "My dog died and I would like a Christian burial for him." The Vicar said, "I'm sorry to hear about your dog, but we Anglicans don't do funerals for dogs. You might try the Baptist church down the ...read more

  • Martin Sheen's Faith

    Contributed by Josh Hunt on Mar 2, 2012
     | 3,274 views

    MARTIN SHEEN'S FAITH Former Hollywood bad boy Martin Sheen says watching his son, Charlie Sheen, lead a similarly decadent life fills him with remorse. He worries that he learned to be a father too late. He particularly regrets his failure to share his faith. "I never lost my faith," Sheen says. ...read more

  • Letters To The Pastor From Kids

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 18, 2017
     | 6,352 views

    LETTERS TO THE PASTOR FROM KIDS: Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won’t be there. Stephen. Age 8 Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 7 Dear Pastor, I think a lot more ...read more

  • The Temperance Reformation

    Contributed by David Johnston on Sep 24, 2006
     | 2,995 views

    The Temperance Reformation This story took place in the years when social drinking was a common thing even among many of the churches. However, many men of God were beginning to speak out against drinking and taking a stand against it from their pulpits. One Sunday, the pastor, who was a ...read more

  • It Is An Old & Familiar Story, But Let Me Use It ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Aug 14, 2001
    based on 138 ratings
     | 1,595 views

    It is an old & familiar story, but let me use it again. Yakov Smirnoff, the Russian comedian, wrote a book, "Seeing the USA on Six Rubles a Day." In it he tells about being overwhelmed when he first entered an American supermarket & saw the great variety of products there. He just couldn’t ...read more

  • One Day My Daughter Emilee, Age 1 1/2, Came ...  PRO

    Contributed by Gary Fuller on Dec 6, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,377 views

    One day my daughter Emilee, age 1 1/2, came running up to me saying, "Bless you, bless you." Not knowing what I did to deserve a blessing, I just said, "Thank you." Emilee repeated, "Bless!" even more earnestly. I replied, "Thank you." By now she had become and near tears. Because I couldn’t always ...read more

  • A Man Called At The Church And Asked If He Could ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ron Crow on Jan 27, 2003
    based on 25 ratings
     | 2,558 views

    A man called at the church and asked if he could speak to the Head Hog at the Trough. The secretary said, “Who?” The man replied, “I want to speak to the Head Hog at the Trough!” Sure now that she had heard correctly, the secretary said, “Sir, if you mean our pastor, you will have to treat him with ...read more

  • It Reminds Me Of The Three Buddies Who Die In A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on Mar 12, 2003
    based on 77 ratings
     | 3,020 views

    It reminds me of the three buddies who die in a car crash and go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are standing over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I ...read more

  • One Day In The South Pacific, A Navy Ship Saw ...  PRO

    Contributed by Kenneth Burisek on Apr 12, 2005
    based on 6 ratings
     | 16,948 views

    One day in the South Pacific, a navy ship saw smoke coming from one of three huts on an uncharted island. Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, "I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been alone on this island for more than five years!" The captain replied, "If ...read more

  • In His Book, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller Talks ...

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Jan 16, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 986 views

    In his book, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller talks about the kind of ruts a lot of us tend to get ourselves into. He says, ‘The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: Life is about me…. I hear addicts talk about the shakes and panic attacks and the highs and lows of resisting their ...read more

  • Horses In The Salad—readers' Digest Online, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,074 views

    Horses in the Salad—Readers’ Digest Online, Reader Contributions, Hazel Boone, Kelowna, BC, 1999 "I took Spanish lessons every day while my husband and I lived in Argentina. After a month, my tutor encouraged me to ’speak to the shop clerks, the maid. Speak to everyone and practise, practise.’ A ...read more

  • A. The Story Is Told Of A Pig Farmer Down South ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,470 views

    A. The story is told of a pig farmer down south who called a local church and asked to speak to the Head Hog at the Trough. 1. The church secretary said, “If you are referring to our minister, you are welcome to call him Brother, or Reverend if you are so inclined, but it would be improper to refer ...read more

  • Some Years Ago, The Cartoonist Pictured Charlie ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mel Shepherd on Jul 2, 2007
    based on 8 ratings
     | 3,223 views

    Some years ago, the cartoonist pictured Charlie Brown bringing out Snoopy’s dinner on Thanksgiving Day, but it was just his usual dog food in a bowl. So, Snoopy took one look at the dog food and said, “This isn’t fair. The rest of the world today is eating turkey with all the trimmings and all I ...read more

  • In A.d. 398 John Chrysostom Was Appointed ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Dec 1, 2007
     | 1,894 views

    In A.D. 398 John Chrysostom was appointed patriarch of Constantinople, where his zeal for reform antagonized the Empress Eudoxia, who had him exiled. Allowed to return after a short time, Chrysostom again infuriated Eudoxia, who sent him away again. How did Chrysostom respond to such persecution? ...read more