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In Sermon Illustrations: "Humorous Weddings"

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  • The Carpenter  PRO

    Contributed by Jacob Kutty on Jul 14, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,053 views

    THE CARPENTER An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The ...read more

  • There Was Once An Optimistic Farmer Who Couldn't ...  PRO

    Contributed by Thomas Cash on Aug 20, 2007
    based on 18 ratings
     | 4,917 views

    There was once an optimistic farmer who couldn’t wait to greet each new day with a resounding, "Good morning, God!" He lived near a woman whose morning greeting was more like, "Good God... morning?" They were each a trial to the other. Where he saw opportunity, she saw problems. Where he was ...read more

  • Several Years Ago When It Was Safer To Do This, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Bob Joyce on Sep 11, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,390 views

    Several years ago when it was safer to do this, a man picked up a hitchhiking serviceman in Florida. When the young sailor got in the car, he said, "Forgive me. I’m hungover. I’ve got a bad headache. I’ve been drinking all week." He began to brag about his sexual escapades over the weekend, and the ...read more

  • Do We Have That Fire In The Belly To Carry Our ...  PRO

    Contributed by Austin Mansfield on Sep 18, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,127 views

    Do we have that fire in the belly to carry our cross when things get tough? The other day (Thursday), I met a Marine Sergeant who is recuperating from wounds he received about 14 months ago. The explosion damaged multiple vertebrae, his left hip, and parts of his legs. His entire left side ...read more

  • As Clayton J. Schmit Put It In His Commentary On ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 31, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,360 views

    As Clayton J. Schmit put it in his commentary on our text, “The moment of birth is one of unspeakable joy. Yet, if parents stopped to count the cost of taking a child home (which, fortunately, they never do) they might be tempted to turn the gift down. The cost of baby food and diapers, sleepless ...read more

  • What A Friend We Have In Jesus

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 7, 2009
     | 2,784 views

    WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS I want to close this message by singing a great hymn of prayer and faith. "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." This hymn was written by Joseph Scriven who lived from 1819 to 1886. Joseph Scriven had wealth, education, a devoted family, and a pleasant life in his native ...read more

  • The Adultery Market

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 27, 2009
     | 3,674 views

    THE ADULTERY MARKET Many of us have seen the wild and funny TV ads that go along with the Super Bowl. But fans in Texas got quite a shock during the game this year. An ad by AshleyMadison.com was seen as inappropriate by the NFL and NBC. But local affiliates in Texas decided that the $250,000 for ...read more

  • Rome, Who Only 1 Year Old, Picked Up A Plastic ...

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jun 13, 2010
     | 1,359 views

    Rome, who only 1 year old, picked up a plastic spade and began playing it, pretending it was a guitar. It has the right shape. Anything can become a guitar in his hands. He has seen guitars at Church and as he danced he made sounds like he was playing one of the upbeat worship songs. We danced and ...read more

  • Praying In Agreement

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Nov 30, 2011
     | 2,434 views

    PRAYING IN AGREEMENT Our individual prayers have great power. But there is even more power when we come together as a church and pray in agreement. Now, we know that in human terms total agreement is impossible. No two people can be in complete agreement … much less a whole congregation of ...read more

  • What Happened To King Neb Was Unique --- ...

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Oct 17, 2012
     | 2,664 views

    What happened to King Neb was unique --- I’ve never heard of anything quite like it --- a King eating grass for 7 years like an animal. But on the other hand, the spiritual experience it represents is more common than we’d like to think. I remember a father of one of my youth group kids years ...read more

  • God's Will Prevails

    Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Dec 15, 2008
     | 2,354 views

    God's Will Prevails David Aikman, formerly of Time magazine, in 2002 spent three months researching the state of Christianity in China. He tells an incredible story. The Chinese church after fifty years of persecution and repression is thriving. When the Communists took control of China five ...read more

  • Responsibility Comes With The Gift

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2008
     | 2,848 views

    RESPONSIBILITY COMES WITH THE GIFT As Clayton J. Schmit put it in his commentary on our text: The moment of birth is one of unspeakable joy. Yet, if parents stopped to count the cost of taking a child home (which, fortunately, they never do) they might be tempted to turn the gift down. The cost ...read more

  • Al Was My Father-In-Law. He Was An Uncomplicated ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 29, 2001
    based on 37 ratings
     | 5,294 views

    Al was my father-in-law. He was an uncomplicated man, easy to like. He was a natural athlete and avid outdoorsman who love to hunt and fish. … Al was the kind of man who didn’t mind what might get said about his wife or daughter, but he never tolerated an insult to his dog. Al’s ragged edge ...read more

  • Do You Have A Portable God?" Numbers 10: 11-21 ...

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Jan 7, 2005
     | 1,750 views

    “Do You Have A Portable God?” Numbers 10: 11-21 Key verse(s): 21:“Then the Kohathites set out, carrying the holy things. The tabernacle was to be set up before they arrived.” Think about this! The only time that you will be through with change in this life is when your life is through. Life in an ...read more

  • If You Had Asked Me A Couple Of Weeks Ago To ...

    Contributed by Gene Gregory on Jan 16, 2005
     | 1,694 views

    “If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago to define the word tsunami I would have probably given a humorous response, suggesting that it was an item on an Japanese menu or the name of a new Korean car. Today, however, there is nothing funny to be said that that awful word tsunami. This ...read more

  • Some Are Famous

    Contributed by Brian Black on Mar 20, 2007
     | 1,489 views

    Some are famous: Nathan Hale (1755-1776) – "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." Romeo – “Here’s to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.” Richard III – "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse." Julius Caesar (100-44 B.C.) – "You ...read more

  • Death Makes People Angry

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 7, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,141 views

    DEATH MAKES PEOPLE ANGRY Back in September of 2004, Casey Neistat of New York City discovered that the battery in his first-generation 5 GB iPod could no longer hold a charge for more than an hour. So he called Apple. Unfortunately for him, Apple basically advised him to buy a new iPod (their ...read more

  • Charles Colson Told The Following Story In An ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Oct 12, 2005
    based on 4 ratings
     | 5,053 views

    Charles Colson told the following story in an address at Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson, Mississippi: I love the illustration about a man named Jack Eckerd. A few years ago I was on the Bill Buckley television program, talking about restitution (one of my favorite subjects) and criminal ...read more

  • Another Celebration In The Bank

    Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 11, 2023
     | 499 views

    This month The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I celebrate the 52nd anniversary of our engagement. In August, it’ll be the 52nd anniversary of our wedding. I can’t believe we have been together for 52 years. But, alas, here it is. I first met her in September of 1970 when I went to Bible ...read more

  • The Rich Family In Church By Eddie ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 11, 2009
     | 2,499 views

    THE RICH FAMILY IN CHURCH by Eddie Ogan I’ll never forget Easter 1946. I was 14, my little sister Ocy was 12, and my older sister Darlene 16. We lived at home with our mother, and the four of us knew what it was to do without many things. My dad had died five years before, leaving Mom with seven ...read more