Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 12, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 4,011 views
Finding Peace Of Mind
Duke University did a study on “peace of mind.” Factors found to contribute greatly to emotional and mental stability are:
· The absence of suspicion and resentment. Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness.
· Not living in the past. An unwholesome preoccupation
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Baptist
based on 1 rating
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A pastor bought a female parrot that became quite a problem. The only thing the parrot could say was, "Come on baby, let's kiss! Come on baby, let's kiss!" She was quite carnal.
The pastor wanted a more spiritually-minded parrot, so he looked around for help.
After much
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 1 rating
| 951 views
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a “show and tell” assignment of bringing something to represent their religion.
The first child got in front of the class and said, “My name is Benjamin, and I am Jewish, and this is the Star of David.”
The second child got in front of her class and said,
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Aug 8, 2024
Illustration: Fixing My Face
While on a hiking trip for the first time, Dad noticed his little boy kneeling at the spring looking at his distorted reflection in the water. He observed his son taking both hands and pushing his face this way and that.
His dad said, “What’s wrong Son?”
His son
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Baptist
based on 7 ratings
| 2,951 views
Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
based on 12 ratings
| 13,948 views
Illustrate Humor: WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why."
My mother taught me
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Baptist
Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
based on 14 ratings
| 2,587 views
“BUY ME OUT”
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn
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Baptist
Contributed by John Braland on Apr 3, 2007
Here are some of the more humerous tombstone enscriptions found around the globe.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
• In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 19, 2001
based on 155 ratings
| 5,160 views
Gen. Douglas MacArthur wrote this prayer for his son. He prayed: "Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, & brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be proud & unbending in honest defeat, & humble & gentle in victory.
"Build me a son
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Oct 19, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,027 views
Did you see the move Shallow Hal? It is a movie about an unattractive, really shallow middle-aged man named Hal Larsen who judges women on how “hot” they are. But then one day, Hal gets stuck on a stalled elevator with a motivational guru who helps him overcome his shallowness by hypnotizing him
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Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 30, 2003
based on 5 ratings
| 3,414 views
NO MATTER WHAT
A number of years ago, there was a newspaper account of a speech given by the president of a well-known university to a group of influential businessmen and civic leaders. The president told of a recent experience which he, his audience, and the newspaper reporter found humorous.
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Contributed by Steve Malone on Apr 15, 2004
based on 12 ratings
| 1,654 views
Dick Alexander, Raw
It’s a word I never liked
Raw carrots are too hard
Raw oysters too slimy
Raw humor is too dirty
Raw skin is too painful
In fact raw applied to anything human sounds painful
But we live in a world of raw human need
It’s all around us
Do you ever wonder how many people struggle
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by David Parks on Jan 30, 2003
based on 27 ratings
| 7,462 views
A PERFECT PREACHER
After hundreds of years, a model preacher has been found to suit everyone. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down. He condemns sin but never hurts anyone.
He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. In every type of work from preaching to custodial service. He makes $60.00 a
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Danny Thomas on Jun 5, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,209 views
Build Me a Son by General Douglas A. MacArthur
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face him self when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone
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Pentecostal
based on 1 rating
| 3,931 views
WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
I read a humorous story about a man who strolled out of a hardware store with a smile on his face and a brand-new chainsaw in his hands. He was told it could cut down five big oak trees in an hour. Twenty-four hours later, however, his smile was gone. Frustrated, he was back at
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Baptist
Contributed by Don Hawks on Aug 2, 2008
LAST LECTURE
You may have heard about the death of 47 year old Carnegie Mellon University computer-science professor Randy Pausch last week from pancreatic cancer. Pausch was most famous for his "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" speech made last fall just after he learned he had months to
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Methodist
Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Jan 19, 2009
based on 5 ratings
| 2,304 views
Six-Word Memoirs
One of the surprising best-selling books of 2008 is "Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure." Notice that the main title is only six words: "Not Quite What I Was Planning." People were asked to succinctly sum up their life in six
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Baptist
Sermon Central