Contributed by David Gant on Oct 22, 2006
based on 1 rating
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Someone made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
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Baptist
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Nov 6, 2006
A man and his wife who had been married for 45 years went on VACATION to Jerusalem. While they were there, the HUSBAND suddenly passed away with a HEART ATTACK. The FUNERAL DIRECTOR told the wife, “You can have your husband shipped HOME for $5,000, or you can BURY him here, in the Holy Land, for
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Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 1 rating
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I kid you not folks, at the church where I preached before coming to Central---we had enough people complaining back and forth about the temperature that the church board actually ending up voting on the thermostat setting---and then once they decided what it would be---to make sure no one could
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Nov 9, 2006
based on 2 ratings
| 2,547 views
A minister decided that a VISUAL DEMONSTRATION would add EMPHASIS to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate JARS. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of
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Christian/Church Of Christ
“ Everyone is familiar with Sherlock Holmes, his faithful companion Dr. Watson, and Holmes’s keen power of observation that solved countless crimes. Yet few of us know that Holmes thought deduction and observation were even more necessary to religion. Tucked away in "The Adventure of the Naval
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Denomination:
Methodist
I also thank God as does Joseph Bayly in PSALMS OF MY LIFE in these words:
Thank You God that
You see
armies march
a sparrow fall
hear
atom’s blast
a baby’s cry
smell volcano’s flow
a man’s sweat
feel
contour of mountains
a little lump
taste ocean’ salt
my
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Methodist
Contributed by Johnny Creasong on Nov 21, 2006
based on 2 ratings
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We need to return to returning thanks.
An old man showed up at the back door of the house some college students were renting. Opening the door a few inches, the students saw that the old man’s eyes were glassy and his furrowed face glistened with silver stubble. He clutched a wicker basket
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Church Of God
Contributed by Michael De Rosa on Nov 27, 2006
based on 8 ratings
| 3,252 views
Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher.
When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!"When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled
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Free Methodist
Contributed by John Shearhart on Jan 3, 2007
based on 2 ratings
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When she says:
“It’s your decision.” She really means, “The correct decision should be obvious by now.”
“Do what you want.” She really means, “You’ll pay for this later.”
“I’ll be ready in a minute. She really means, “Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.”
“You have to learn to
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Contributed by James Chandler on Jan 10, 2007
based on 2 ratings
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A new preacher at the local church walked into
the auditorium of His new church. He thought it
would be best to move the piano from the right
side of the stage to the left side of the stage,
so he moved it. Soon after he was fired for the
disruption caused by the new
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bo Dunford on Jan 15, 2007
based on 4 ratings
| 2,690 views
* I’ve learned the meaning of a few words that women
use from time to time. * For instance ... The word “Fine.”
* This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
C) “Five Minutes.” * If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour!
* Five minutes is
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Baptist
Contributed by Charles Salmon on Jan 15, 2007
based on 1 rating
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Sleeping in Church
A Minister, while preaching, noted most of his congregation was asleep. He stopped the sermon and asked a deacon to pass the offering plate. The deacon woke up red-faced and reminded him the offering had already been taken.
His response; “Never mind, take up another one. I
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by David Moore on Jan 17, 2007
based on 2 ratings
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A Sunday School teacher had just concluded her lesson and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She said, "Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?" There was a short pause and then, from the
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Feb 5, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,182 views
A preacher in a small town in Oklahoma said that early one Monday morning, the only BANK in town called all three churches with the same request, "Could you bring in Sunday’s
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Davon Huss on Feb 12, 2007
This fellow was very nervous as he contemplated asking Miss Jones to marry him. So he decided to ask her over the telephone. So he calls on the telephone.
And he says, "Is this Miss Jones?"
And she says, "Yes."
And he says, "Could I talk to you?"
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Feb 13, 2007
based on 8 ratings
| 2,719 views
Interestingly, STRESS is produced by not only NEGATIVE experiences, but also by POSITIVE ones.
It was for this reason that Donna Parker HESITATED telling her husband about him WINNING the Reader’s Digest Association Sweepstakes. She was ECSTATIC when she got the CALL INFORMING her that a
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Jerry Caddell on Feb 16, 2007
Another young man was looking through the classifieds in search of a used car when he came upon an ad for a brand new Jaguar being sold for only $50. Surely he thought this was typo, but calling the number listed he was assured that $50 was correct. The next day he went by to see the car and to his
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by John Shearhart on Feb 16, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,281 views
You Know It’s A Bad Church Business Meeting When...
…People arrive at the meeting, clutching copies of books about "spiritual abuse."
…You’re asked to try on a pair of bloody gloves.
…A loyal supporter presses a can of Mace into your hands.
…The church constitution suddenly becomes revered as
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Contributed by Mack Armstrong on Feb 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,148 views
Ah, what an easy job is his,
The man who’s in the preaching biz!
He has but little work to do,
For all he does the whole week through
Is just to call upon the flock
As regularly as the clock;
To cheer the sick who groan in bed,
To preach a sermon for the dead;
To teach the sinner righteousness,
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Denomination:
Methodist
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