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In Sermon Illustrations: "Funny Stories"

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  • So I'm Going To Share With You A List I Came Up ...  PRO

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Jan 10, 2007
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,458 views

    So I’m going to share with you a list I came up with of Seven steps guaranteed to embitter your Children: 1. Discipline your child only when you lose your temper. Let him get away with everything, then without warning, let ‘em have it! Blow your top! Scream and Yell! Let ‘er Rip! Go Crazy! ...read more

  • The Difference Between God's Law And God's Grace  PRO

    Contributed by Austin Mansfield on Jan 20, 2007
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,240 views

    The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ … (Verse 17) If you compare the two, you’ll find that when the Law came down, 3,000 people died. That’s in Exodus 32:28. When the Holy Spirit came down, 3,000 people were saved. That’s in Acts 2:41. That’s the ...read more

  • Keep Your Fork  PRO

    Contributed by Dennis Jones on Feb 15, 2005
    based on 72 ratings
     | 8,512 views

    KEEP YOUR FORK There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs ...read more

  • Many Years Ago, Al Capone Virtually Owned ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jeffrey Dillinger on Jun 21, 2005
    based on 13 ratings
     | 4,677 views

    Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. He wasn’t famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for filling Chicago with everything evil. How did he keep himself out of jail? That is where his lawyer came into play. Big Al’s lawyer was nicknamed “Easy Eddie.” He was excellent at ...read more

  • Burn The Books!  PRO

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Aug 16, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,945 views

    Burn the Books! (08.18.05--Envy!--Prov 14:30) “Envy cannot read; therefore its will is that all books should be burned.” If we can’t have it then it should not be possible for others to know what we ourselves have not be given. When we equate envy with justice, we travel a very rocky road. Denying ...read more

  • Perhaps You Are Familiar With The Greeting Or ...

    Contributed by R. David Reynolds on Sep 5, 2005
     | 3,785 views

    Perhaps you are familiar with the greeting or call to worship whereby the pastor or liturgist declares, “God Is Good,” and the people, respond, “All the Time.” The pastor affirms, “All the time,” and the congregation declares, “God is Good.” Many United Methodists use it frequently as a ...read more

  • Way Cool! (09.26.05--Teach Me To Pray!--Ezra ...

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Sep 22, 2005
     | 2,083 views

    Way Cool! (09.26.05--Teach Me to Pray!--Ezra 8:23) What’s the one thing that we despise, but it is also the one thing we most dearly treasure? The answer? It is prayer. There isn’t one of us who really wants to do it; but, at the same time, there isn’t one of us who, once it is done, does not feel ...read more

  • Judging Books! (10.20.05--That Person!--Esther ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Oct 19, 2005
    based on 4 ratings
     | 3,084 views

    Judging Books! (10.20.05--That Person!--Esther 3:5-6) The other day, a jehovah’s witness came to my door. I’ve seen them many times in the past as they slowly travel down my driveway and descend upon my doorbell. I know what differentiates my faith from theirs and have learned stock answers to ...read more

  • Paul Brand's Missionary Mother  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 14, 2011
    based on 6 ratings
     | 6,287 views

    PAUL BRAND'S MISSIONARY MOTHER Dr. Paul Brand, a well known doctor and author, was raised in India. His parents were missionaries there. In his book, titled "In His Image," he writes about his mother. It is one of the most touching stories I’ve ever read. He writes that when his mother was 75 ...read more

  • Sarah's Vase  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 21, 2011
    based on 4 ratings
     | 5,758 views

    SARAH'S VASE Just like life comes in the place of death, so honor comes in the place of service. Pediatrician David Cerqueira tells the story of a little girl in his wife's Sunday School class. His wife had prepared a lesson on being useful and told the children that everyone can be useful in ...read more

  • Grant Vs. Custer  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 2, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,673 views

    GRANT VS. CUSTER There is a story of two Civil War Generals: George A. Custer and Ulysses S. Grant. Both graduated from West Point--Gen. Grant, being the oldest, graduated in the 1840's and Gen. Custer in 1861. Grant fought in several wars and was a field General in every sense of the word. In ...read more

  • Chris Paul: Forgiving The Murderers

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 23, 2011
     | 4,363 views

    CHRIS PAUL: FORGIVING THE MURDERERS In April, 2011, Rick Reilly wrote a moving story about forgiveness from the life of Chris Paul, the all-star basketball player for the Charlotte Hornets. Reilly writes: On the moonless night of November 15, 2002, five boys ran across a park, jumped a ...read more

  • He Wants To Be With His Master

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 29, 2011
     | 3,993 views

    HE WANTS TO BE WITH HIS MASTER Today’s story is about an old country doctor that dates back to the late 1930s when doctors made house calls. Isaac Pender was his name. Everyone in the area for two reasons respected him. First, he was an excellent doctor who provided compassion care for his ...read more

  • God Steps In Where Our Fathers Fail

    Contributed by Bret Toman on Jan 31, 2012
     | 2,772 views

    GOD STEPS IN WHERE OUR FATHERS FAIL John Eldredge, author of Wild At Heart and Fathered By God among others, writes of fishing with his dad as a boy. Spending hours together on a Saturday morning trying to catch fish. "But" he writes, "the fish were never the issue. What I longed for was his ...read more

  • Thank You, Sensei Don

    Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Feb 12, 2012
     | 2,112 views

    THANK YOU, SENSEI DON Dr. Don Sisk, the former president of the mission board I'm with, BIMI, tells of winning an old "papa-sahn" to Christ, the father of one of the ladies in his church. He had such a grateful spirit for Dr. Sisk, whom they referred to as "Sensei Don" which means "Teacher Don." ...read more

  • Pray And Read Your Bible

    Contributed by Josh Hunt on Feb 29, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,753 views

    PRAY AND READ YOUR BIBLE A man was in prison and was in need of some money. He wrote his mother and asked her to send five hundred dollars immediately. Soon after, he got a package in the mail. It was a Bible. On the top of the Bible, there was a letter that said, "Son, I love you. Pray and read ...read more

  • The Prayer Of Grandma Jones

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 28, 2012
     | 5,608 views

    THE PRAYER OF GRANDMA JONES I'd like to tell you the story about an old lady that everybody called "Grandma Jones." She had a close relationship with Jesus. And she knew that Jesus wanted her to be a soul-winner. She wanted to lead others to Christ. However, Grandma Jones was pretty much home ...read more

  • Examples Of Generous People

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 4, 2012
     | 5,127 views

    EXAMPLES OF GENEROUS PEOPLE In a country where getting and having more seems so normal, people who choose to live with a lot less so they can help others seem, to put it mildly, less than sane. Zell Kravinsky is one of those people. Kravinsky got rich in the real estate business, and then gave ...read more

  • The Agony Of Defeat

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 28, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,935 views

    "THE AGONY OF DEFEAT" Some of you might remember the TV program "The Wide World of Sports". For many years, the opening of the program opened like this: "Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport; the thrill of victory... and the agony of defeat." The opening illustrated "the ...read more

  • Was Jesus Married?

    Contributed by Mark Stepherson on Sep 22, 2012
     | 2,143 views

    WAS JESUS MARRIED? “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.” 1 Timothy 4:7 “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” 1 Peter 3:15 Popular characters tend to be used, ...read more