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In Sermon Illustrations: "Fathers Day Jokes"

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  • Washington And Madison On God's Law  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 19, 2011
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,928 views

    WASHINGTON AND MADISON ON GOD'S LAW James Madison, the primary author of the Constitution of the United States, said this: ’"We have staked the whole future of our new nation NOT upon the power of government; far from it. We have staked the future of all our political constitutions upon the ...read more

  • Eight-Year-Old Wrote Her Mother A Note For ...

    Contributed by Major Gerardo Balmori on Apr 2, 2011
     | 3,357 views

    Eight-year-old wrote her mother a note for Mother’s Day. "Dear Mother, here is the box of candy I bought you for Mother’s Day. IT IS VERY ...read more

  • Eight-Year-Old Wrote A Card To Her Mother And ...  PRO

    Contributed by Major Gerardo Balmori on Apr 2, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,602 views

    Eight-year-old wrote a card to her mother and said, "DEAR MOTHER, HERE ARE 2 ...read more

  • Rest In Peace  PRO

    Contributed by Major Gerardo Balmori on Apr 2, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,855 views

    REST IN PEACE Six-year-old and his four-year-old sister presented their mom with a Mother’s Day present: a small, spindly house plant. While it wasn’t the finest looking specimen, they had bought it with their own money and Mom was thrilled. She hugged and kissed her children and told them ...read more

  • A Boy Got His First Job. As He Was Boasting About ...  PRO

    Contributed by Major Gerardo Balmori on Apr 2, 2011
    based on 14 ratings
     | 4,850 views

    A boy got his first job. As he was boasting about the amount of work he did, he said, "I get up at 5 a.m. and have my breakfast." He was asked, "Does anyone else get up too?" He replied, "Oh yes, mother gets up and fixes my breakfast and then fixes dad’s breakfast." "And what about your dinner?" ...read more

  • Mothering Sunday

    Contributed by Egerton Gbonda on Apr 2, 2011
     | 3,254 views

    MOTHERING SUNDAY The history of Mothering Sunday is interesting. Some say it is difficult to be definitive about how it all began. The following are some of the theories advanced about the history of this all important day: It may have started from a Roman Spring festival- a time in which the ...read more

  • What Is A Mom?

    Contributed by Jason Bonnicksen on May 8, 2011
     | 2,621 views

    WHAT IS A MOM? What is a mom? Is she the one that gave birth to your life? Is she one who raised you with the warm embrace of her arms? Is she the woman who gives the all of life, so that yours could be prosperous and long? Many mothers are probably all theses, and many things more. Moms are ...read more

  • Goodbye, Mother!

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 9, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 25,079 views

    GOODBYE, MOTHER! A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed a little old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me, sonny" she said, ...read more

  • What To Do When There's No Fireworks

    Contributed by John Herrmann on Jun 21, 2011
     | 3,130 views

    WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE'S NO FIREWORKS Around sunset one very hot summer’s eve when we (in the Army Chaplaincy) were in Iraq, about forty miles north of Baghdad, we saw the military police pull up in the building just next door. Out came two Iraqi Prisoners of War, their hands were shackled behind ...read more

  • The Sufferings Of The Pilgrims

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Jul 3, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,807 views

    THE SUFFERINGS OF THE PILGRIMS The sufferings of these pilgrims has been a theme often repeated and yet it remains an amazing story. Within three months of the Mayflower landing in December 1620, only about fifty of the original hundred survived. Their graves had to be unmarked and grassed over to ...read more

  • A Mother's ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 10, 2009
     | 4,327 views

    A Mother’s Resolutions 1. When I forget to go to the grocery store, I will not boil the macaroni necklaces my children made for me in preschool. 2. I will pack the kids’ lunch boxes the night before so I don’t throw in a slab of frozen lasagna as they’re running for the bus. "It’ll defrost by ...read more

  • Mom Is Amazing

    Contributed by Hugh W. Davidson on Mar 13, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,313 views

    MOM IS AMAZING When I was small, I always thought my mother was omniscient because she knew where everything was. I’d say, "Mom, where are my mitts?" And she’d say, "They’re under the bed" just like that. When I looked, there they were. As I grew older, I realized she wasn't omniscient; she just ...read more

  • There Are Three Stages Of Motherhood: Young, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 12 ratings
     | 4,320 views

    There are three stages of motherhood: young, middle age and “you’re looking fine.” I don’t know about you, but my mother was responsible for teaching me some of the most valuable life lessons I ever learned. Someone sent me some valuable reminders of Mom lessons and I wanted to share a few of them ...read more

  • There Is A Story About Four Preachers Discussing ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 6 ratings
     | 3,090 views

    There is a story about four preachers discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked the King James Version best because of its simple, beautiful English. Another liked the American Revised Version best because it was closer to the original Hebrew and Greek. Still another ...read more

  • The Late Erma Bombeck Tells Of God In The Act Of ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,428 views

    The late Erma Bombeck tells of God in the act of creating mothers. She says that on the day God created mothers He had already worked long overtime. And an angel said to Him, “Lord, you sure are spending a lot of time on this one.” The Lord turned and said, “Have you read the specs on this model? ...read more

  • The Definition Of Me

    Contributed by Scott Berry on Jul 21, 2011
     | 2,272 views

    THE DEFINITION OF ME Quote from the movie 'Spanglish' - "I've been overwhelmed by your encouragement to apply to your university and your list of scholarships available to me. Though, as I hope this essay shows, your acceptance, while it would thrill me, will not define ...read more

  • The Influence Of Mothers

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 5, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,166 views

    THE INFLUENCE OF MOTHERS Don DeWelt was one of my college professors at Ozark Christian College. Don preached a sermon entitled, "The only commandment the virgin Mary ever gave." What was that commandment? DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU. God bless all mothers who have said to her children, "Do whatever ...read more

  • The Rug: Making And Keeping Good Boys

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 6, 2011
     | 3,701 views

    THE RUG: MAKING AND KEEPING GOOD BOYS A preacher tells how he was once entertained by a teacher and his wife who had two boys in their middle teens. He writes, "Immediately on entering, I felt the home atmosphere. They were evidently a fine Christian family. However, I noticed that the carpet in ...read more

  • Because She Is A Mother  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 6, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,115 views

    BECAUSE SHE IS A MOTHER Out of the French Revolution came a story of a mother who wandered through the woods for three days with her two children, trying to survive on roots and leaves. On the third day, she heard some soldiers approaching and quickly hid herself and the children behind some ...read more

  • Mom's Church  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 6, 2011
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,206 views

    MOM'S CHURCH Four scholars were arguing over Bible translations. One said he preferred the King James Version because of its beauty, eloquent old English. Another said he preferred the American Standard Bible for its literalism, the way it moves the reader from passage to passage with confident ...read more