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In Sermon Illustrations: "Counting Song"

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  • Corny Valentine's Puns

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 4, 2021
     | 2,590 views

    Q: What did the cucumber say to the pickle on Valentine's Day?" A: "You mean a great DILL to me." Q: What Valentine card did the light bulb say to the other light bulb? A: I love you a WATT! Q: What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th? A: I only have ...read more

  • Dieting An Old Tradition

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Mar 9, 2022
     | 1,177 views

    How long have Americans been obsessed with dieting? I cannot answer that question, but I do have a CD of Eddie Cantor singing, “My Wife is On A Diet” from 1929. It features lyrics like, “No more gravy and potatoes, only lettuce and tomatoes! Where are the pies I adore?” And then there is my 1932 ...read more

  • Jingle Bells  PRO

    Contributed by Peter Loughman on Dec 23, 2006
    based on 10 ratings
     | 3,169 views

    JINGLE BELLS The two of them were best friends in seminary, studying together, helping each other financially when one or the other got in a pinch, they stood by each other through thick and thin. When they graduated from seminary both coincidentally received a church call within the same state: ...read more

  • Do We Know The Pessimist's Creed?

    Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Feb 9, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,182 views

    DO WE KNOW THE PESSIMIST’S CREED? THINK, IF THE PESSIMIST HAD A CREED WHAT WOULD IT BE? ALL BUT ME AND THEE! THE PESSIMIST CREED! By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Why rejoice in sunshine? It will just turn to dark clouds and much rain! Besides that, the sunshine can hurt your eyes, More than that it ...read more

  • On Trial For Sharing The Gospel  PRO

    Contributed by Roger Nelmes on Jan 30, 2008
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,135 views

    On Trial for Sharing the Gospel 17 and 18 years old, Pakistan, 1997 (p27-28) Anila met Perveen at school. As their friendship grew, Anila gave Perveen a Bible and taught her Christian songs. Perveen quickly learned Christian songs and began to teach them to her younger sister when her parents ...read more

  • Whenever I Walk Through The Mall, I Pass The Army ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mark Hiehle on Jul 20, 2001
    based on 76 ratings
     | 2,124 views

    Whenever I walk through the mall, I pass the Army Recruiter Office and notice all the incentive posters and slogans in the windows. "Sign up today and receive $50,000 for college!" "Get a $20,000 signing bonus!" "Join the Navy and see the world!" "You can Fly High in the US Air Force!" "We are ...read more

  • Vance Havner Says, "God Is Faithful, And He ...  PRO

    Contributed by Greg Yount on Oct 28, 2001
    based on 53 ratings
     | 4,875 views

    Vance Havner says, “God is faithful, and He expects His people to be faithful. God’s Word speaks of faithful servants, faithful in a few things, faithful in the least, faithful in the Lord, faithful ministers. And all points up that day when He will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful ...read more

  • Evangelist Billy Walked Told A Story About The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Oct 18, 2000
    based on 15 ratings
     | 3,115 views

    Evangelist Billy Walked told a story about the city fathers of New York as they contemplated the future growth of the city. They laid out the streets and numbered them from the center outward. When they began, there were only six or seven streets. In their planning maps, they projected how large ...read more

  • For My Next Trick  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 17, 2002
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,176 views

    FOR MY NEXT TRICK: A 31-year-old man from Santa Cruz, Calif., was walking outside town on a date when he happened across a rattlesnake. To "impress" his gal, he picked the snake up. "The snake was mature," said a rescue worker. "It had 10 rattles," which he knew because "the victim had time to ...read more

  • Charles Swindoll In His Book On Grace Puts It ...  PRO

    Contributed by John Hamby on May 3, 2001
    based on 92 ratings
     | 3,094 views

    Charles Swindoll in his book on Grace puts it this way, "You want to mess up the minds of your children? Here’s how - guaranteed! Rear them in a legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more important than reality. Fake your faith. Sneak around and pretend your ...read more

  • Hotel Room ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 28, 2009
     | 2,005 views

    HOTEL ROOM THEFT Thefts from hotels and motels have reached 500 million dollars a year and probably more. Hotel managers count on one of every three guests stealing something. In a recent year, 4,600 Bibles were lifted from New York City hotel rooms. Professional thieves frequently strip motel ...read more

  • Dearest Jesus, Holy Child  PRO

    Contributed by David Dewitt on Dec 4, 2001
    based on 13 ratings
     | 3,843 views

    DEAREST JESUS, HOLY CHILD Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child, Make thee a bed, soft, undefiled, Within my heart, that it may be A quiet chamber kept for Thee. My heart for very joy doth leap, My lips no more can silence keep, I too must sing, with joyful tongue, That sweetest ancient cradle ...read more

  • My Wife And I And Our Oldest And Youngest ...  PRO

    Contributed by Johann Neethling on Aug 27, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,272 views

    My wife and I and our oldest and youngest daughters are still "Resident Aliens" – just so as not to scare anyone, we had our head antenna and body scales surgically removed so as to look like you all • We still carry our Resident Alien cards. • I remind you, my dear friends – as Christians – you ...read more

  • Max Lucado Tells A Story In A Book Called "It's ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jeff Simms on Aug 2, 2004
    based on 7 ratings
     | 10,456 views

    Max Lucado tells a story in a book called “It’s Not About Me” about a friend of his who had cancer. Some well intentioned Christians had told him ‘If you have faith, then you will be healed”. But, no healing came, only a crisis in faith in that man’s life. Max suggested another answer to him, ...read more

  • Three Boys In The School Yard Were Bragging About ...  PRO

    Contributed by Dale Johnsen on Dec 28, 2000
    based on 125 ratings
     | 13,058 views

    Three boys in the school yard were bragging about who had the better father. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $100." The second boy says, "That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a ...read more

  • Many Do Not Recognize The Fact As They Ought, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 8, 2006
     | 1,784 views

    "Many do not recognize the fact as they ought, that Satan has got men fast asleep in sin and that it is his great device to keep them so. He does not care what we do if he can do that. We may sing songs about the sweet by and by, preach sermons and say prayers until doomsday, and he will never ...read more

  • True Riches  PRO

    Contributed by Asiri Perera on Sep 6, 2006
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,430 views

    True Riches A tax officer asked an old man to declare his wealth. The Old man declared his riches like this: o A mansion in heaven o Everlasting life o Peace that passes all understanding o Joy unspeakable o Devine love that never fails o A crown of life o A faithful wife o Healthy, Happy & ...read more

  • You Know You're Getting Old When...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 15, 2011
     | 1,698 views

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN... • You hear your favorite song on an elevator. • You watch the Weather Channel. • You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. • You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. • When you say something to your ...read more

  • Jack Hayford And His Wife Anna Were Vacationing ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,782 views

    Jack Hayford and his wife Anna were vacationing in Britain during the 25th anniversary of the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. While there the Hayfords saw constant reminders of royalty. That, along with visits to several castles, caused Hayford to sense what it might be like to be "raised as a ...read more

  • Joy On The Road

    Contributed by Charles Wallis on Sep 25, 2008
     | 6,043 views

    Joy on the Road Honda made a "Musical Road" for a commercial in Lancaster, CA, that played the William Tell Overture when you drove on it. At first, it wasn't too exciting. But as you picked up speed, you could actually hear a song played by the tires hitting the grooves in the road at just the ...read more